Icebreaker | 1 - Summer Warmups
Hi, folks. I'm Tim, your DM and your genie. I just wanted to say we're giving ourselves a little summer break from recording. So instead of a normal episode this week, we're just gonna share some of our warm up exercises. We typically record these right before we play to get into character and get the energy just right.
Tim / GM:That being said, these are nonsensical, definitely, non canonical, and they're just for fun. The warm ups you're about to hear were recorded during episodes 3, 6, and 12. We'll be back on track next Wednesday, with our episodes. That's July 14th. Okay.
Tim / GM:I think that's it. Thanks again for listening and enjoy our first batch of warm ups. The 5 of you are in a a mountain valley. It's not, an especially steep one. It's actually a pretty, picturesque idyllic scene.
Tim / GM:You guys haven't seen any other people or parties for 6 hours or so. You are breaking, to make camp, right by a creek. You guys are off the path and it is, getting a lot colder than you thought it was gonna get out here up in the mountains. It was pretty hot during the day. Now it's very cold.
Tim / GM:And I will say, Uli just came back with firewood and snack caught something to eat.
Speaker 2:Why was I not in charge of the hunting? I've
Tim / GM:It's nobody's nobody's given roles or anything. This is just what you've done so far.
Hannah / Eryn:Uli Uli, just, you know, he needed something to do. It's okay. And now Holly just tries to be like, here, set up the fire.
Tim / GM:Set up
Hannah / Eryn:the fire. She, like, gestures.
Speaker 2:I've got wood.
Speaker 4:Bert, can
Hannah / Eryn:you help me with this? And Holly
Speaker 4:With a fire? Sure.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly takes the wood and starts trying to stack it up as best she can, but she's not really a country girl. So she's just doing their she's doing like a little a house is what she's building. Just stacks the
Tim / GM:wood and
Hannah / Eryn:she's gonna burn it.
Speaker 4:If I remember right, we need some sort of kindling to get this started. Is that right?
Speaker 5:Yeah. I mean,
Hannah / Eryn:I don't know if anyone has any kindling on them.
Speaker 4:Kindling. Kindling.
Speaker 2:Grab a handful of leaves.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, perfect. Kindling.
Speaker 2:Hey. Drop them in your hands
Hannah / Eryn:and stuff.
Speaker 4:With the kindling.
Hannah / Eryn:Wait. How do you light it?
Speaker 2:Oh, I point behind me and I just fire bolt.
Hannah / Eryn:I, like, dive out of the way. It just doesn't hit me. 1 of
Speaker 4:us yeah. I figured one of us knew Firebolt?
Speaker 2:I'm not looking at the fire. I don't know what I'm hitting.
John / Doran:Snack found scores of frogs, and he's murdering all of them. Oh, no. And putting them into a big pile. Oh, no. He may have to make several trips to carry them back to the campsite.
Speaker 4:I've heard of some cultures where frog is quite a delicacy.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Don't we don't eat those
Tim / GM:very much.
John / Doran:My feast I brought to you all, friends. And then I just
Speaker 2:Oh, good. Out of
John / Doran:my hands. Come help me grab them all.
Hannah / Eryn:Good job, snack. These look, great.
John / Doran:Thank you, Holly. Here. And then I take a bite out of 1 and hand you the
Speaker 4:rest. That's
Speaker 5:not And,
John / Doran:unfortunately, it's not totally dead. It's still genuine.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly takes it, and then she, like, offers it to Henri on her shoulder, and he, like, sticks up his little nose at it.
Speaker 7:Tibio, in an attempt to help, animates the skeletons of the dead frogs and marches them for the fire.
John / Doran:I see, TBO. Yes, cook them. Make them more tasty than they already are. If that's possible.
Speaker 5:Does anyone have a frying pan?
Tim / GM:Can't say I do.
Speaker 4:Wait. I've got this, shield that
John / Doran:I carry around with me.
Speaker 5:That that will work.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 7:Tibio gently places the shield on top of the fire and marches the frogs into it.
Tim / GM:Do you have a
Speaker 2:shield, Bert?
Speaker 4:It's never come up, but I guess I pictured he had, like, a shield on his back. Okay.
John / Doran:But probably wouldn't have a chance to use in combat very much. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Are there enough frogs for all of us to eat?
Tim / GM:No. There's only like like 8 frogs. That's not enough.
Speaker 2:I
Speaker 4:didn't add it to my AC or anything.
Speaker 2:Would they be considered an object?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Well, now.
Speaker 2:Just wondering if I could enlarge them.
John / Doran:Yeah. If that spell
Speaker 2:So we can give a
Speaker 7:larger frog.
Speaker 2:Can I please use some larger deuces?
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I make them big frogs.
Tim / GM:So yeah. The, and they're already on the fire on the shield.
Speaker 7:Right.
Tim / GM:So the fire is snuffed. But in that moment, you guys hear the, distant clopping of of hooves, not in a rush, and it doesn't sound like it's towing anything. You guys see from around the bend with, glistening white fur and a white mane in the coming moonlight. As the sun sets, you see a unicorn around the corner. And it, kinda casts up a big black eye at you guys as it strolls on by.
Tim / GM:Ah. That slows to a stop near your encampment. Hello. You guys can see it too. Right?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, like, slowly starts it. Just like, you're so beautiful.
Tim / GM:It, yeah. It, like, leans into you and, like, nuzzles you with its kind of giant head. You didn't realize how big this thing was, but it's like a, what's it called? Not a Mustang, but a
Speaker 7:Clydesdale.
Tim / GM:Clydesdale. Yeah. It's a it's a gigantic beast.
John / Doran:Fluffy.
Hannah / Eryn:And then she Clydesdale. Right there. And she just, like, gently, like, pets its mane. And then she gives a little kiss on the nose.
John / Doran:Bully, would this be a a treat that would you would fancy over frogs? No. I feel that the others are not satisfied with the meal that I have brought.
Speaker 2:No. The the frogs are great. I don't think you should eat a horse.
John / Doran:Okay. I I put my knife away.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Tim / GM:Snack. You feel a buzzing, and, you hear a whisper.
Speaker 8:I don't mean to be a bother, but,
John / Doran:never a brother, genie. You always are here to help Snack. You always care about Snack and look out for his best interest.
Speaker 8:I do every day, Stack. I just I needed you to know unicorn horn happens to be my favorite food.
John / Doran:Is it, Genie?
Speaker 8:If there's anything you can do, young snack.
John / Doran:Of course, Genie.
Speaker 2:Who is he talking to?
John / Doran:Well, I stretch, reaching 2 feet 8 inches as I stretch. I must, rest over here in this bush. Have a good night all of you, and please don't disturb me or look for me for I I need to sleep soundly and I am easily walking and disturbed. Farewell, comrades. Good night, mister Schneck.
John / Doran:Good night.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly is not paying attention. She's just petting the unicorn.
Speaker 5:Snack did not eat any dinner.
Speaker 2:He asked me if unicorns tasted better.
Tim / GM:Yeah. The unicorn shuffles away from Holly and it walks into the shallow creek next to you guys. It, dips its head low to take a sip, and then it throws back its mane, and you see an arc of water kind of fling backwards into
Speaker 4:Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 5:It's so beautiful.
Speaker 4:They say you never forget your first unicorn.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly is gonna go, grab a frog out of the pot. Mhmm. I don't know if it's been cooked at all but she's just gonna run back and try to offer it to the unicorn and then, like, she'll just like
Speaker 5:like, here here
Hannah / Eryn:and then, like, put it down, in front of it and then, like, steps back.
Speaker 4:Oh, there's no way it'll lead something like rots.
Tim / GM:Yeah. The unicorn bows low to you and it sees the frog and maybe appreciates it, but doesn't partake of it. So it doesn't sup of the frog. He
Speaker 4:probably eats, like, fancy cakes and
Tim / GM:stuff. When it when it bows its head low, you see, a thin leather cord, pressed against its skin, and you realize now that this horn is false, an an attachment.
Hannah / Eryn:You're not a real unicorn, and she rips the horn off of its head.
Tim / GM:It looks at you with knowing eyes, and it kind of, like, like turns its head and looks, accurate came. And you see, somebody peering out from behind a rock, and they just kind of duck back behind the rock. The horse is in cahoots with somebody else.
John / Doran:At this time, the whole area goes black. Just total darkness.
Tim / GM:Okay. And you hear So who has dark vision?
John / Doran:It's magical darkness, so nobody can see it.
Tim / GM:Okay. Okay.
John / Doran:But, Snack is, running towards Holly to try to grab the horn out of her hand secretly. Okay. So
Speaker 2:I told you it wasn't a real unicorn. It was just
Hannah / Eryn:You're just totally calm in the pitch blackness. Holly, like, yelps like and when it everything goes black, she, like, freaks out. And then she's, like, stumbling in the creek or whatever, like, falling behind it. She's, like, pretty scared.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Can you turn off the lights?
Tim / GM:And then, yeah. You can feel you can feel something. Bert?
Hannah / Eryn:Bert, is that you? What's going on, Howard? Get talking. What's going on?
Speaker 4:I don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh my god.
Tim / GM:How what's the area of the darkness? It is
Speaker 4:60 feet, I think.
Tim / GM:Okay. So snack, you can feel you've got the horn in your grasp and you've you've wrestled it out of her. She's just trying to keep her balance.
John / Doran:Okay. I climb into the bush soaking wet Yep. From the
Tim / GM:creek Yep.
John / Doran:And then, disable the darkness spell. Okay. And then hide the horn, in my lamp. Okay. Oh, it's so bright now.
Tim / GM:When the lights come back on, Holly is, sitting at the edge of the creek, on dry, ground, and the horse is running back the way it came.
John / Doran:Companions, I was trying to sleep. What is all of this noise? And I comically rub my eyes as if I had been asleep for a long time.
Hannah / Eryn:Something like the horse wasn't a unicorn and there's people over there. I'm a little scared because everything went black. Holy, was there something in the frog?
Speaker 2:I'll go check. What? Oh, yeah. What kind
John / Doran:of frogs were those?
Speaker 2:I just they're just big frogs.
Speaker 7:Tibio misty steps to the other side of that rock where the person was.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You misty step back to that rock, and, there is not a person as you'd expected, but another horse. When the horse sees you, it, fumbles its pack, which was full of false unicorn horns. And, with a startle, it kind of rises to its feet and gives you it just locks eyes with you.
Speaker 5:Drop the horns.
Tim / GM:It just does a side to side shuffle. And all at once, the horns just kind of fall off. And then another horn falls off from somewhere.
Speaker 5:Be off with you.
Tim / GM:It, it walks hoarse backwards.
Speaker 5:Shame on you, for prisoners to be a unicorn.
Speaker 7:Tibia gathers up the sack of horns. And And carries them back to the group.
Tim / GM:You guys hear, 2 2 sets of hooves clomping away together.
Speaker 2:That was weird. Right? Are
Speaker 5:Are these horns real? Are they fake horns or were they unicorn horns that
Hannah / Eryn:they just took? I say we make lemon we make unicorns out of horns and then Holly takes it and just straps it on her head and she's like, come on, guys.
Speaker 2:Don't touch me.
Speaker 5:There's so many. Why would they make so many if there were only 2 of them?
Speaker 2:How did they put them on? Alright.
Tim / GM:Who's putting a horn on their head?
Speaker 7:Tibio is because he thinks that's what they're for.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Do it.
Tim / GM:Bert? I think I'm not. K. Snack?
Hannah / Eryn:Snack. Here, I'll help you. And Holly doesn't get much choice, and she just, like, puts it on his head.
John / Doran:Okay. Uli?
Speaker 2:I absolutely refuse. That looks so stupid. Alright.
Tim / GM:From the, kind of higher up on these, valley walls, you hear a voice echo out. Today, my machinations come full circle complete. I bet you're wondering why I've been toiling with you from a distance, spoiling your efforts, ruining your every move from the shadows. It is time for me to reveal my sir why why are you all wearing horns? I thought this was gonna be a big dramatic meeting where where I finally saw all of the heroes and I did to destroy you and but you're all wearing horns.
Speaker 5:Excuse my sir, but, who are you?
Tim / GM:I I've been sending packs of random spiders and goblins after you in the valley. No. Was that not you?
Speaker 9:No. Snack has been eating those.
Tim / GM:Hold on. He, he cancels the, the, gesture that was making his voice loud, and he walks on from the hill. And he gets close to you guys and he says, my name's Jake. Oh, I'm looking for an adventuring party of 5 coming through this valley. Are you not them?
Speaker 5:What do you need the party for?
Hannah / Eryn:You've got the party now. And she, like, Holly, like, wiggles her head around because she's got the little unicorn.
Tim / GM:I've been hair I've been harrying them from a distance for for years now. But
Speaker 5:Oh, no, sir. We have not been together for that long.
Speaker 4:No. We haven't met our nemesis yet.
Tim / GM:The no. The the paladin. I I I I I killed his family and and the druid, I I destroyed her coven.
John / Doran:You killed his family? Right? Is he part of our party now?
Speaker 9:No. No. No. She's just
Speaker 5:a snack.
Tim / GM:Well
Speaker 5:So we have no paladin
Speaker 2:Or druid.
Tim / GM:You know what that means? They're probably coming any minute. Could you could you actually move on from this area? I'm I'm going to make this big grand entrance. I have a whole monologue prepared.
Tim / GM:Cliff bar. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:But it
Tim / GM:was for me.
Speaker 5:If you if you give us the cliff bar
Speaker 2:I could enlarge it.
Tim / GM:We will leave. Oh.
Speaker 5:But you have to keep the frogs.
Speaker 4:I have these. There's plenty of frogs here, buddy.
Speaker 5:Yeah. You have to keep the frogs.
Tim / GM:You know what? I think I hear them coming. You know what? That's fine. Here,
Speaker 5:take the
Tim / GM:cliff bar. Thank you.
Speaker 5:I'm gonna go
Tim / GM:get in position. Yes. Just make it look like you weren't here. Get rid of that fire. The 5 of you are on a row of chairs.
Tim / GM:There are 5 chairs on a raised wooden platform facing an audience of 100.
John / Doran:Oh, god.
Tim / GM:On your far right, each of you, or all of you, I suppose, on your far right, a large red curtain separates you from an unknown person. So there are 5 of you all exposed in a row and then a large red curtain and then one more person. The audience waits, quietly and, you hear a voice call from the other side of the curtain. Contestant number 1.
Speaker 7:There we go.
Tim / GM:What is your ideal day off? And, Snack is sitting in the first
John / Doran:chair. I would never take a day off. I have a destiny that I must achieve, and I would never subject my presence to someone who would need days off. I do not have such weakness.
Tim / GM:So dedicated. So passionate. Contestant number 2, what's your ideal day off?
Speaker 5:My ideal day off would be a quite, stroll through the forest, where I would visit the graves of man's stairs and commune with their spirits.
Tim / GM:She, the the voice from beyond the curtain says, depressing. And the crowd goes, ah. Contestant number 3. What's your ideal day off? What would you do?
Speaker 4:I think on my perfect day off, I'd be sitting in a comfy chair under a blanket,
John / Doran:reading a nice book, getting lost in a great story.
Tim / GM:Sounds cozy. Contestant number 4, what's your ideal day off?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, well, since you're asking, you know, I would really just enjoy a nice picnic, by a stream or river and probably be, doing a crafty item like, making a bracelet or weaving or, I also really love to paint. So just something outside that would be very peaceful away from all people.
Tim / GM:So talented. And the crowd goes,
Speaker 7:yay. And everybody claps.
Hannah / Eryn:Thank you.
Tim / GM:Contestant number 5, what would be your ideal day off?
Speaker 2:Get drunk at the bar, maybe? Kick some ass? Maybe go home with someone?
Tim / GM:You hear maybe me?
Speaker 2:Maybe.
Tim / GM:You hear the car go,
Hannah / Eryn:woo woo.
Tim / GM:Contestant number 5. I have to spring another question on you. You were supposed to bring me something that would impress me. What did you bring me? Oh, my God.
John / Doran:I don't
Speaker 2:I have some, like, home brewed ale that my brother made. It's pretty good.
Tim / GM:You, there's you hear it from the crowd?
Speaker 2:I wasn't prepared for this question.
Tim / GM:Contestant number 4, think you can do better than that?
Hannah / Eryn:Sure. And Holly, pulls out of her pocket a little, flower and it, like, grows. It's like magic and it, like, grows and blooms in her hand and she holds it out. I made this.
Tim / GM:Through some magics, she can see beyond the curtain and you can't. Or sorry. I don't mean to say she, because there's
Hannah / Eryn:You ruined the game.
Tim / GM:I did. I I've stepped all over everything.
Speaker 4:They say,
Tim / GM:that's so pretty, but so temporary. Contestant number 3, what have you brought me to impress me?
Speaker 4:Why, I've written you the world's greatest love poem.
Tim / GM:You hear that crowd go, oh. She says, go ahead.
John / Doran:Well, I haven't written it yet.
Tim / GM:I see. And the crowd goes, Contestant number 2, I hope you've got more than empty promises.
Speaker 5:We I, I have premade our tombstone together.
Tim / GM:She goes, I love pizza. Contestant number 1. What did you bring me to impress
John / Doran:me? Why? You are you are not impressed by my mere presence?
Tim / GM:One person in the crowd's like, yeah. I have
John / Doran:something to impress you. I set my lamp on the ground and summon Genie.
Tim / GM:So,
John / Doran:Genie cometh.
Tim / GM:Says, Genie comes spiraling out of the lamp, wearing a tuxedo, and he's got jet black hair that is parted, and combed to one side. He comes out and he says, how can I best serve you
Speaker 8:and your time spent with dear snack?
John / Doran:Thank you, Genie, for your time. This person is interviewing me for some sort of job. I'm not sure what it is. It does not involve days off, I believe. But I need to demonstrate something powerful, I believe.
John / Doran:And you have chosen me of all the kobolds. You could have chosen me, Snack, the greatest of all kobolds you chose. Is this not the case, Genie?
Speaker 8:Well, you found me, but good move nonetheless. High five, buddy.
Tim / GM:And, he disappears back into the lamp. Contestant number
John / Doran:I still wanted to say more things about Genie and me. We will become very powerful soon.
Tim / GM:Contestant number 3. I can only be with one of you. Do you think you could defeat the other contestants?
John / Doran:Alright. It's some sort of battle
Speaker 4:of the
Tim / GM:wits? Or a more physical battle? What do you think?
Speaker 4:I think I could be a solid number 2.
Tim / GM:Well, contestant number 2, where do you think you would rank?
Hannah / Eryn:Do you
Tim / GM:think you could defeat all the other contestants? Sorry. Contestant number 4, I suppose.
Speaker 7:Sorry, help me.
Hannah / Eryn:Could I defeat them all? Yeah. In my sleep.
Tim / GM:So much confidence.
Speaker 5:Bullshit. Wow.
Tim / GM:Contestant number 2.
Speaker 5:I would not wish to defeat any of my companions for any reason. Any any person who wanted my heart would know that my friends mean so much to me and I would never betray them.
Tim / GM:Contestant number 5. Do you think you could defeat the rest of your companions?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Hands down. I am the strongest person here. We've got some competition.
Tim / GM:Contestant number 1, what do you say? Do you think you could defeat the rest of your companions?
John / Doran:I have been keeping eyes on them. I am looking for their weaknesses. And yes, I could defeat them should I want to, but for me, it is not advantageous at this time for them to die, my friends.
Hannah / Eryn:Well with kindness.
Speaker 4:Well, I've got I've got the poem now if you're ready.
Tim / GM:Oh, please. Let's see where this ranks.
Speaker 4:There was a young lady from Tiltry with looks so good that she thrilled me. It got a lot worse. She was struck with a curse, and she turned into a monster and killed me.
Speaker 7:Yay. Yay.
Tim / GM:Crown goes wild. And, the voice says, well, all things considered with that lovely poem, I think we're just going to have to find out who is left standing. And the curtain comes down and, Joe removes a wand from his own throat and says, fight each other. Okay. You have entered a, you guys are traveling through the mountains by Vindorn, and, it's kinda cold up there.
Tim / GM:And you're all exhausted, but you have found a, this small wooden tavern, in the mountains. It is run by, one old woman, and it is a, like, hot springs tavern. And so there's a big wooden wall and two natural hot springs.
Speaker 2:Check
Tim / GM:a wiz. And, and you guys are welcome to, take a load off and and relax in the in the hot spring
Speaker 2:pools. I do that immediately.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Uli, do you use aquatic form when you jump into the pool?
Speaker 2:Is it a deep pool?
Tim / GM:No. It's, like, not even 6 feet.
Speaker 2:Then no. Because I won't I'm not trying to swim or breathe underwater.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 2:But I I strip immediately.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, man. What a journey through that cave. I can't wait to get in this water. And Holly, strips down, but she has, like, cute little under under things on, and she gets in the water with those on.
Tim / GM:Like, in a video game when you make them naked except there's still something.
Speaker 2:Right. Or
Tim / GM:like pixels. Wait. Are there
Speaker 4:men's and women's?
Tim / GM:Yes. There's a big wooden divider that that shapes out the 2 pools.
John / Doran:Well, I guess we gotta stack some stuff up and peek over the wall.
Speaker 2:How this episode goes.
Speaker 7:Supposed to
John / Doran:play out. Snack, gets over to the spring, fills his canteen, and puts some cocoa and then starts drinking it.
Speaker 2:Pre warmed.
Tim / GM:Mhmm. The, the old lady comes out and sees that, Tibeo has not gotten into the into the one of the pools yet. Norton has, Bert. She looks at both of you and says, what's the hold up?
Speaker 5:I wasn't sure if it would be, allowed to have my full self in the water.
Tim / GM:You're trying to break a broth? Hell, Vince, no boy.
Hannah / Eryn:It's just
John / Doran:living there.
Speaker 4:No bones. No bones about it.
Tim / GM:She points to a sign that says no bones, just gnomes.
Speaker 5:Oh, okay. I I will leave him behind. Is there a laundry that you could put it through?
Tim / GM:The bones?
Speaker 5:Yes. Sometimes they get a little kicked in dirt on the road.
Tim / GM:She, looks the skeleton up and down, and she says, I'll get to scrubbing. And she you just see her her, like, click, click. And she picks up the ones 1 by 1. Click,
John / Doran:click, click.
Tim / GM:And walks away with them.
Speaker 7:I have a no. I have a, like, a bone
Hannah / Eryn:tote. Oh.
Speaker 7:Attached to my
Tim / GM:cloak. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Is it like a like a
Speaker 7:It's like a mesh grocery bag.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Like one of those bags you put your, delicates in.
Speaker 7:Yeah. It's definitely a mesh bag.
John / Doran:Bert slowly edging himself into the water.
Tim / GM:Just, like, one toe at a time? Yep.
Speaker 4:Yeah. One toe. Oh.
Tim / GM:Once you're all kind of, established snack, are you gonna get into
John / Doran:the water?
Speaker 5:Man, this feels good.
John / Doran:I'm watching Bert get in slowly. Okay. So what are you doing, Bert?
Speaker 4:The water's hot. Just, you know, no need to rush into these things.
John / Doran:I see. So we must be hot because it is cold up here. That is why you are going in this water, to survive.
Speaker 4:It's supposed to be relaxing. That's what they say.
John / Doran:As in put our guard down? There could be enemies afoot.
Speaker 5:I think the world would keep us safe, Snack.
John / Doran:Will it? Snack inspects the wall.
Speaker 2:I'll get over here.
Tim / GM:Snack, you could probably destroy that wall.
John / Doran:If we are supposed to trust her with our safety, I must I must test this wall, and I cast an elder's blast at it.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You, you blow, like, a circular hole in the wooden divider wall, and, you're staring straight at Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh my. Holly, like, gets deeper in the water. She's, like, trying to cover herself. I Zach, excuse you.
Speaker 2:I'll just, like, get out of the water and, like, find something to shove in the hole, I guess.
Tim / GM:Just a boulder?
John / Doran:Yeah. We are not safe here, Bert. And also, Holly has put their guard down as well as Oli. They're not wearing any clothes.
Speaker 4:Well, you stay on watch. I'm going to nurse this nosebleed.
John / Doran:They look different. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Have you never bathed before?
John / Doran:Of course not, unless you mean rolling in stone dust to for camouflage, which I do quite often. Snack.
Speaker 5:Snack, how about, how about we all get in the bath and we are back to back so that any enemies that come upon the bath will we will see them and we will be warned?
John / Doran:I agree to be a well. Well, we must go with the rest of our allies in. And I pull out the cloth that Uli had stuffed in the hole and I climbed through that.
Speaker 7:She put like a boulder in there.
Speaker 2:No. I just picked up like wait. Wasn't it boulder?
Tim / GM:I think I said boulder.
John / Doran:Oh. A boulder?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay. But it could be a rock.
Speaker 2:I assumed it would just be my clothes or something.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. The towel that was around you just, like like, hanging over the pole.
Speaker 7:Oh, I wasn't wearing a towel.
Tim / GM:I suppose.
John / Doran:I get into the water and say, Timmy O'Bertz, we must join them. We must be safe in here. We must not divide the party.
Tim / GM:You got into their pool?
John / Doran:Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't have a problem with it. But
Hannah / Eryn:Holly's just like, oh, and she's, like, inching away and kinda just like, oh, this is so uncomfortable. He can
Speaker 2:get behind me.
Hannah / Eryn:Good. I guess he's kinda naked all the time though. Right?
Tim / GM:Yeah. As soon
Hannah / Eryn:as I get also naked.
John / Doran:When I get into the spring water, my cloak is filthy and it just, like, the water gets cloudy and He didn't take his cloak.
Hannah / Eryn:Immediately. Ew. Oh, man. So gross.
Speaker 4:The old man. Casting
Tim / GM:multiple healing spells on himself to prevent the, bloody nose. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Gotcha.
Hannah / Eryn:Ollie is gonna cast prestigitation on the water to, like, get all the dirt from the cloak out of here.
Tim / GM:There's those, like, scummy bubbles floating towards you. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:She's just like, ew. Ew. Ew. And it all just, like, just separates into the air. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, this has been really fun. But I I think I'm gonna call it a night. I've had enough of bath time with with snack.
Speaker 2:Are you sure?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Holly's, like, hopping out of the water now, and she's grabbing up her clothes and a towel, and she, like, shuffles out with little slippers on.
Speaker 2:Good night, I guess.
Tim / GM:Holly, when you walk inside, you see, that, old lady is, inside, and she's playing with a bit of of, your belongings. I think there was, like a like a lace or a strap from your clothes that she is now winding around a small burlap doll. And when she sees you, she goes, nothing?
Hannah / Eryn:What what are you doing there?
Tim / GM:Did you enjoy your bath?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. It was fine. But I'm ready to call it a night.
Tim / GM:Good. Good. I'll see you off to your room. Here you go. Just right down the corner right there.
Hannah / Eryn:But I saw your little doll with my clothes on it. What are you doing?
Tim / GM:It's my it's my Polly doll. I know some magic. Lonely up here. It's my friend.
Hannah / Eryn:That seems like you're trying to control me or curse me or something. What are you doing? Holly's gonna cast friends on her.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 2:Is she hostile?
Speaker 7:I wouldn't say hostile.
John / Doran:Is she hostile?
Tim / GM:I wouldn't say hostile. Finally. She says, oh, I'm making voodoo dolls.
Hannah / Eryn:That's what I thought. I mean, really, I don't think that's a great way to treat your guests. Why would you do that? We're gonna pay you well.
Tim / GM:Well, what good is money up here? I'm all alone. I need to eat.
Hannah / Eryn:You wanna eat us?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I usually just do kind of a fight to the death among whatever group comes up here.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay.
Tim / GM:They leave their clothes, and I make little dolls. Here, you can make one. Do you wanna help?
Hannah / Eryn:Actually, do you have any of, the little lizard's clothes?
Tim / GM:I've got couple options, and she, slides you a couple scales and a piece of thread.
Hannah / Eryn:Talia, she's like, okay. Show me what to do.
Tim / GM:And then she instructs you how to make a like, the little simulacrum of the set. Yeah. What's the
Speaker 2:Did you call it a Polly doll?
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like Polly Pocket. Like Holly Pocket.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh. John, we are rattling this bench. Yeah. You guys are making a lot of noise.
Speaker 7:Yeah. It's real bad.
Tim / GM:What part of
John / Doran:the drive?
Hannah / Eryn:Closer to, the table maybe.
Speaker 2:Do you guys want chairs?
Speaker 7:Is it far
Speaker 4:in the middle?
Speaker 7:That's what I thought.
Speaker 2:But maybe it's not us. No. It's you. It's just a jank jank bench.
John / Doran:I'll be aware of it now.
Hannah / Eryn:Maybe he was just hitting it with his foot or something.
John / Doran:I yeah. I bounce my legs a lot, so I'll just try not
Speaker 2:to. Bolt them to the floor.
Speaker 7:The sound we're making. K.
Tim / GM:Back out in the pools. Bert. Yeah. Bert, you feel a, you feel like you either have really bad gas or or you're gonna throw up or something. Your stomach is being squeezed, like, so bad.
Speaker 5:Bart, are you okay?
John / Doran:Something in the water is not agreeing with me. I think I gotta get out of here.
Tim / GM:Back inside, we see, Holly, the old lady staying with you, and she goes, see? He'll be out of the water soon. And she's just, like, holding Bert's one by kinda the middle and squeezing it.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't really like this. Maybe we shouldn't. I just feel I feel guilty now. I don't think I can actually use this.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought we
Tim / GM:were going to play voodoo dolls. I I thought we were friends.
Hannah / Eryn:We are friends, definitely. But I'm gonna need to take all these and Holly tries to grab all of the dolls and, like, everything.
Tim / GM:And she, like, grabs 1 and, like, won't let you take it?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly just is, like, now now. Just for a little
Speaker 5:bit. My leg.
Tim / GM:She's, like, grabbing onto the other end of 1. And, yeah, it's it's like Tibia's little doll and
Speaker 5:Oh, no.
Speaker 9:It's happening.
John / Doran:Bert, move it. I'm gonna blow out one and the other.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm gonna
Speaker 2:Look. Bert, cursed.
Tim / GM:Bert. Myself. Now standing in the threshold of the the door to this place, you see Holly and the old lady fighting over a doll. And, Uli, you hear some shouting from inside Let
Hannah / Eryn:go of the dump. You can't have it. And Holly's, like, really going after it now trying to,
John / Doran:like, fight her. Snap. What's going on here?
Speaker 2:I think we need to be ready. My leg. Are you prepared to fight?
John / Doran:I think we should see who can make the biggest blast in this water.
Speaker 7:Help me, someone.
John / Doran:They're probably fine. There's only one old lady here, Uli.
Speaker 2:I cast Thunderwave and then I get out.
Speaker 5:Stable play. Stable
Tim / GM:play. Holly, you, like, you, like, yank on the doll and, the leg comes off of it. And, Tibio, you, like, you, like, see this happen, like, down the hallway. You can see it from the pool, like, straight into this place. You see exactly what happens.
Tim / GM:And, like, you, like, think that your leg is gone. You're fine. Nothing bad has happened. But you feel as if your leg has been pulled off.
Speaker 7:Okay. Okay. I'm, like, touching my leg, but it's still in pain. And I I it feels like it's gone, but I can feel that it's there Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Then I'm just crying. Mhmm. I storm in totally naked and soaking wet, and I grapple the old lady.
John / Doran:Okay.
Speaker 5:Anyone, please?
Hannah / Eryn:She made these dolls, and she was torturing you all. I'm so sorry. I had no part in it whatsoever.
Speaker 5:Well, my friends,
Hannah / Eryn:since she's grappled now, Holly grabs the other leg and stuffs it back on the doll and gives it a little kiss. Oh.
Tim / GM:You feel a kiss. Let's say, Tibio, you remember, when you were walking into this place that you saw a a doll that looked like the woman who runs this place, kind of sitting on the front desk.
Speaker 7:Okay. I, now that my leg feels attached again and is attached still, and I got that little nice little ghostly smooch. I'm gonna, get up and get out of the water and sneak on over while the chaos is going on and, go up to front desk and grab that doll and run back to the group and hold it up. And I
Speaker 5:say, excuse me moi.
Tim / GM:And she says, you wouldn't.
Speaker 5:I would. You almost tore my leg off.
Tim / GM:She goes, I yes.
Speaker 5:Okay. Sit down.
John / Doran:You make her sit down.
Speaker 7:And I, like, bring the doll down. I'm, like, gonna slam it, but I'm too nice, and I just kinda set it gently on the floor.
Tim / GM:You see her go, like, and she kinda, like, crumbles onto the ground in a cross legged position.
Speaker 5:Now, how do you destroy those does without hurting the people that they are attached to?
Tim / GM:She goes,
Hannah / Eryn:you'll never find out. Actually, she showed me. So all you need to do is take off their clothes. No. Here.
Hannah / Eryn:I'll undress Uly.
Speaker 2:It looks like me.
Tim / GM:Still just muffin.
Hannah / Eryn:I just hold up the naked Ooly doll next to Ooly. I'm like, perfect replica.
Speaker 5:And then
Hannah / Eryn:I'm gonna just throw the little dot at Uli, like, Uli, here you go. And then I'm, gonna kinda slowly start just undressing and pull off the scales off the snack 1, and I just, like, throw them back to y'all once they're unclothed. Okay.
Speaker 7:And I'm just holding this little, lady doll hostage Yeah. While Holly's doing all this.
Hannah / Eryn:And I'm gonna gather up all the pieces that were on the doll, and I'm gonna put burn them in the fire, except I try to conceal a couple of snack, because I don't trust I'm sorry. I did not trust him. And so I kinda conceal in my sleeve to save for later just in case I need them.
Speaker 2:This is kinda cool. Yeah. I might, I'm just gonna keep this if that's
Hannah / Eryn:fine. It's a little
Speaker 2:Ollie doll.
Speaker 5:You're done?
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's it's a tiny me.
Speaker 5:Does it have any magic if it doesn't have clothes?
Speaker 2:I don't know. But look, it's it's a little Ooly.
Speaker 5:It does. It looks like exactly like you.
John / Doran:Doing a stealth check against Tibio. I got a 17.
Tim / GM:Okay. Tibio roll. D 20, please.
Hannah / Eryn:Why against Tibio is our question.
John / Doran:Because he's gonna steal the the doll maybe?
Speaker 5:Mhmm. Is it int?
John / Doran:It's perception. Oh, no. Sorry.
Speaker 9:So, whiz. Whiz.
Speaker 7:19. Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Dirty 20.
John / Doran:Okay. So, Tibeo, you see Snack eyeing the doll in your hand, and he's got an evil glint in his eye and he's
Speaker 5:Don't even think about it.
Speaker 4:What do we do with the old lady's doll?
Speaker 7:I make sure
Speaker 5:Holly, all of the dolls safe and sound now.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I think so. Everyone has theirs.
John / Doran:What if we cover it
Speaker 4:in something sticky? I hate being sticky.
Speaker 5:No. Mademoiselle, this was very cool what you have done. No more dolls. And I take the clothes off of
Speaker 7:the old lady doll, and I burn the clothes, and I destroy the doll.
Tim / GM:She goes, I'll never do it again.
Speaker 5:Okay. Thank you.
Tim / GM:No. Okay. You burn the doll and she just burst into flames. Wow. And she's in, like, an instant, she's just gone into dust.
Speaker 2:I mean, she said never again.
Tim / GM:She was right. Yeah. That's the end of Thanks so much for listening. I'm Tim, your DM and your genie.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Hannah playing Holly Hyacinth.
Speaker 4:I'm Thomas. I play Engelbert FF Wisherspoon.
Speaker 9:I'm Tara, and I play Tibio Femur.
John / Doran:I'm John. I play Snack the Kobalt.
Speaker 2:And I'm Maggie playing Uli.
