Cursebreaker | 51 - Oops, All Kobolds!
Less time on curse breaker. We venture deep below lamplight to find Buster hiding in an echoing cavern. Tibio managed to cut the tension short by using Bert's nearly forgotten sphere of silence to separate the curse from the Minotaur. With Buster saved, we decided to head back to the tangled Jib for a good night's rest. But when we walked in, we were greeted by Bert's parents,
Speaker 2:who we previously thought to be dead. Who knows? Maybe they still are.
Tim / GM:In any case, all signs are pointing north. You hear that, Orzo? We're coming for you. Yeah. So you guys had already solved all of the Buster stuff.
Tim / GM:You had resurfaced, met Bert's parents in, the tangled jib.
Speaker 3:Figured out that the emeralds are their Flag trees. Yep. And we do not have the emeralds.
Tim / GM:Correct. Yes. They are with the Fae Trader and with Maisie, I believe.
Speaker 3:Yes. And then we got drunk, and that's where we left off.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, yeah. Everyone passed out at the bar
Speaker 3:except for me. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. That's right. People started drinking towards the end. This bright and crisp lamplight morning begins with Ross the boss sliding a sweating glass of ice water towards Uli who is passed out on the bar.
Speaker 3:Oh, no. Oh, my head.
Tim / GM:Hey. Hey.
Speaker 3:Oh, not so loud.
Tim / GM:A couple of your friends came looking for you earlier. Yeah. One of them seemed really peppy. That's Holly. Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. That's that sounds like Holly.
Tim / GM:Well, when you've got the stomach for it, you should meet them.
Speaker 3:Are they here?
Tim / GM:She said she'd be right outside.
Speaker 3:Okay. I will, drain the water immediately.
Tim / GM:On the floor?
Speaker 3:Yeah. No. I will gulp it all down.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay.
Tim / GM:Holly, what are you doing outside?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, you know, Holly's probably sipping a cup of coffee, taking in the the sight of the ocean. Can you see it from here?
Tim / GM:Definitely. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. It's like, is it an ocean? A big lake. That's all we know in the Midwest.
Tim / GM:Ross has a couple, like, wooden tables set up, like, right by the big window there. From there, you can see right out onto the bay. You can see the the ships coming in.
Hannah / Eryn:Would this be the ocean that I think, Marlboro, sacrificed himself with the meteors into? Yeah. Probably. Like, far off. I don't know how big it is, but yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Mhmm. So Holly's sitting there. She's pretty happy, but she's just thinking about everything that's transpired in the last, like, 3 days because we were we've been traveling fast, and it's a lot to take in. And so, yeah, she's just kind of enjoying the sunny morning, sipping her coffee.
Thomas / Guy:Bert,
Speaker 6:what are
Tim / GM:you up to this morning?
Thomas / Guy:Bert's still in his room. He is sitting in bed writing, and he is constantly writing stuff down and then ripping that page out of his book and crumpling up piece of paper and throwing it to the side. And you can see that the crumpled up piece of paper, pile is roughly as tall as
Speaker 6:he is.
Tim / GM:So maybe an early morning or a late night?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Snack, you may be a little distracted this morning because last night, you had another dream. As you're following Tibeo outside into the bright sunlight, to go greet Holly, you kind of hear the words echoing in your head. Snack.
Speaker 2:If you did not understand before, this is not a dream. I am speaking to you now. You must travel north with haste. Do not ignore my words. Much hangs in the balance.
Speaker 2:I must call them the Platinum Council before they take escalated action on your country. Solve this problem before it advances any further. Hunt, Vikshi. Seek the vault of Thrainfall, Rakniza Ren, Lambert and the demented architect atop the ranging gear.
Speaker 6:What? What? Idris, could you repeat that
Tim / GM:one more time? And you you wish to death that you could remember what the hell he said.
Speaker 7:Oh my god.
Speaker 6:This is very stressful in the morning. Do not appreciate this. Jingy, did you hear that?
Tim / GM:You you literally, like, were just kinda muttering and then just said, Genie, do you hear that? And he kinda, like, looks out nervously and says,
Speaker 6:no. Bert, are you nearby? We need to get going quickly, genie. Oh,
Tim / GM:to Vindorn.
Speaker 8:Do you
Speaker 6:remember where I left bidet? Yeah. It wasn't by the other bear trap, was it?
Tim / GM:Well, you said he wouldn't get very far if we put him in the bear trap.
Speaker 6:Had way too much hot cocoa last night.
Speaker 8:I go and fetch bidet.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You, you find bidet in the alleyway behind the tangled jib, and, bidet has a collar on that is caught in a bear trap.
Speaker 7:Oh, god.
Speaker 2:See, I didn't go nowhere. Excellent.
Speaker 6:Bidet, you are wonderful. We need to get going.
Tim / GM:Uli, Ross is trying to get you out of his bar kitchen.
Speaker 3:I'm in the kitchen.
Tim / GM:Sorry. Bar area. Yeah. You're just like, I need eggs. Like it almost looks like he's, like, smiling, almost like teary eyed.
Tim / GM:He says, I'm glad people like you come around, all you guys. You know, that's why I do what I do. I wanted a front row seat to the whole world, and and this is it. Hearing stories about you guys. Every time someone tells me a tower in Tildry blew up or a 1,000 gnolls get frozen solid in Hogwild's first blizzard, I know you guys are at the center of it.
Tim / GM:It just makes me feel like I'm really a part of it all.
Speaker 3:Did I tell you that?
Tim / GM:No. Really, people talk about you guys. I get people coming in all the time telling me this or that happened or or, you know, some dragon breathed fire on a whole barbecue, and I know it's you guys. You're the only ones out there making moves.
Speaker 3:Are we famous?
Tim / GM:I'd say so. People know you.
Speaker 3:I didn't want this. Oh, well, thanks for the hospitality.
Tim / GM:You, turn around to face the bright sunlight coming through the window, and you can see Holly's silhouette. She is, like, basking in the sunlight just like sipping morning coffee.
Speaker 3:I walk up to her, and I I grab the shroud off of her head and drape it over my eyes.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh. Oh, it's just you. Oh, man. Rough night?
Speaker 6:I
Hannah / Eryn:don't remember. Yeah. Me too. And Holly just looks like perfect. She's totally not hungover.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Whatever.
Hannah / Eryn:I've heard water really helps, though. Did did you drink some water? Yeah.
Tim / GM:There are 8 empty glasses of water around Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Here, Uli. Have some coffee, and Holly pours from a carafe she has on the table. Thanks.
Thomas / Guy:Bert's gonna silently come down the stairs and walk up to the bar.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Ross comes out from the kitchen, sees you there, and says, my man. Coffee? Yep. He goes right back in the kitchen.
Speaker 6:Bert. Bert. Bert, it's me, Snack.
Thomas / Guy:Yes, Snack?
Speaker 6:I was wondering if you could do something for me.
Thomas / Guy:What's that snack?
Speaker 6:That thing you do where you message people. I I have someone I wish for you to contact.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, sure. Sure. I'll I'll do you a favor, Snack. Who do you want me to message?
Speaker 6:It would be Idris, and I I think I I know what I need you to say. If you could just
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 6:Write it out.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, Idris. Oh.
Speaker 6:Yes.
Thomas / Guy:Well, yeah. What do you want me to say?
Speaker 6:Dear Idris, this is snacks servant, Bert Bert. My master is inquiring regarding things you said that I, Bert, being stupid forgot and was supposed to write down for snack and didn't. Could you say them again, please? Signed, snack servant Bert.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. You got it. I'll write down exactly what you told me. Wonderful. Let me have my coffee first.
Thomas / Guy:Is where's Boss?
Tim / GM:Yeah. He slides it down the bar.
Thomas / Guy:Bert slams down Boss's manuscript on the counter. Okay. It was a 150 pages. Now, it's about double that with all sorts of notes and other papers sticking out. Oh, wow.
Tim / GM:Are you kidding me?
Thomas / Guy:Boss, I got one thing to say to you.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Please, let me have it.
Thomas / Guy:It's called a dangling participle.
Tim / GM:He holds his hands over his crotch and says, what?
Speaker 6:Thanks for the coffee.
Tim / GM:He, he, like, pours over the pages, and he, like, starts laying them out on the bar so that it takes up the entire length of it. He's just got his hands on his hips, and he's kind of, like, walking down the bar looking at each page. And he's like, Bert, what do you mean by
Speaker 9:What's a fragment?
Tim / GM:Bert, what's a Gary Stu?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly comes bursting in the door with, Uli probably in tow behind her and says, good morning, everybody. The curse breaker is back again.
Speaker 6:I am one of those now too.
Hannah / Eryn:But, Dae, you're here too.
Speaker 7:Shut up.
Speaker 3:Do Do you
Speaker 6:have a curse, Ollie? I am
Speaker 7:prepared.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's a curse. It's called Holly is so loud. Allowed?
Hannah / Eryn:Meek? Holly is, like, shocked. Just kidding. I already knew that. Alright, folks.
Hannah / Eryn:Let's get a table here and figure out what's next. And Holly plops down at one of the tables in the back.
Tim / GM:K. Yeah. Ross comes over with glass of water, and he says, just holler.
Hannah / Eryn:Can we get some bacon?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Thanks. And pancakes?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:And some orange juice for Uli.
Tim / GM:Okay. Now there's coin involved.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, yeah. That's fine. Yeah. Holly hands over 5 gold.
Speaker 10:So that's that's plenty.
Speaker 3:Eggs too, please.
Tim / GM:And eggs.
Hannah / Eryn:Thanks, Ross. You the boss.
Thomas / Guy:Bird sits down at the end of the table.
Hannah / Eryn:We need to decide what's next.
Speaker 7:North. Right?
Thomas / Guy:Is that what we all decided?
Hannah / Eryn:I mean, I know Snack was talking about going there. Is Vindor north. Right? Same same area. Right?
Hannah / Eryn:Does anyone have a map? Ross, you got a map? She calls.
Tim / GM:Ross pulls a framed picture off the wall and sets it on the table for you guys, and he just, like, double taps on where his lamplight is.
Hannah / Eryn:Where's Vindorn?
Tim / GM:Yeah. It's pretty much, like, due north of you. And you can see kind of the 2 pathways that go that kind of circumvent this mountain range to pincer attack on Vindorn. Dave and Emory tried the left path. Hogwild is quite close to the right path.
Speaker 3:And where's the dragon?
Tim / GM:In the mountains, somewhat near Hogwild.
Speaker 6:Cool. Yes. Everyone, yeah, I think that my quest is quite urgent, and I just wanted to say, I helped, you know, I helped you all, kill some judges, I helped Uli, beat her brother up, I helped Tibeo remember who his brother is.
Speaker 7:I don't remember, but
Speaker 6:Well, anyways, I I think that,
Hannah / Eryn:But you did remember? I suppose. Exactly.
Speaker 6:Yes. Well well, I I just think that, I think that, there's danger in, in the north with the dragon and, yeah. Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, you know, dragons are cool and all, but, I feel like going on a mission for a dragon with no info seems kind of risky.
Speaker 6:Yes. Well, Bert is the one with the info. Right, Bert? You were you were going to ask, Idris some questions to, clarify some details.
Tim / GM:And, Bert, the unfortunate news is that the message was seen almost immediately.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Idris, doesn't seem to wanna talk to one of your servants, Nick.
Speaker 6:Did you slight him in some way, Bert?
Thomas / Guy:I was very polite.
Speaker 6:This must be a test. Well, I remember something about a golden orator and, something about mountains and dragons. I think we have all the info we need.
Speaker 7:Well, this is something that we must do either way because this is the same dragon that Joe infected. Right?
Hannah / Eryn:That seems what our intel is is saying. And then there was the weird thing with your parents last night. What was up with that? Do we need do we worried about that?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Is that urgent?
Thomas / Guy:Well, I was tasked with recovering their phalactories for them.
Hannah / Eryn:I just feel like we don't know enough about anything to make a decision. Like, that's where I'm struggling. I'm I mean, I could teleport us right into downtown Bindorn. No problem.
Speaker 3:I don't wanna do that.
Hannah / Eryn:But yeah. Exactly. Like, we have no idea.
Speaker 3:I say we head north to Vindorn. On foot. On foot.
Speaker 6:So for a snack, can I roll
Speaker 8:to know where my home is on the map?
Thomas / Guy:Sure.
Speaker 6:Yeah. This be nature or
Tim / GM:I think nature would be more like trying to figure out where something is. This would probably be a knowledge history just to go back into, like, your personal history.
Speaker 6:Mhmm. K. 14.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Also, you actually passed by a Hogwild when you were leaving the mountains or that region anyway. So you know that Hog Wild is found, like, within half a day of your home?
Speaker 3:I
Speaker 6:think it's somewhere here, and I point with my talons on the map.
Hannah / Eryn:What's there?
Speaker 6:This is where the dragon is, I think.
Thomas / Guy:Wait. You learned that from Idris?
Speaker 6:He spoke very fast in his very rumbly voice, and I I did not gather much info.
Hannah / Eryn:Do we have to pass through Hogwild? Holly points at the map with a fork because maybe we could get some intel there. You have a you have a friend there, don't you, Snack?
Speaker 3:In Hog Wild? Yeah. I have an entire family.
Hannah / Eryn:No. I mean, a friend.
Speaker 3:What kind of
Hannah / Eryn:friend? The goblin.
Speaker 6:Oh, yes. I well, I mean, I can summon him at any time, so he's also a servant.
Hannah / Eryn:Delorium.
Speaker 6:Delorium. Yes. Do you want to speak with him, Holly?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I mean, isn't he supposed to be, like, helping you, providing intel?
Speaker 6:You're right. He probably should help, and I hit the mallet on the ground. Great.
Tim / GM:What was DeLorean doing? DeLorean going? DeLorean is holding a knife and fork, and, like, he just kind of appears, like, holding those things and is looking at all of you. And he just kinda, like, squints from the sunlight coming in the room, and he says, well, there's the meaning of master snack, and he, like, bows reverentially. He says, how may I be of service to, to your, chapter?
Speaker 6:Yes. Deloreum, I must say you are quite the nicest of all suitors I have at this table.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly winks at Delorium.
Tim / GM:I scoot some bacon over to him. Delorium winks one eye and you just see this goo kind of like ooze out of it.
Hannah / Eryn:Ew. No.
Speaker 6:Delorium, the great golden dragon that we all serve. Idris has requested a a task to be done by us, and it involves a red dragon wreaking havoc in somewhere north. Have you heard of such things? Do you know where this is?
Speaker 10:The red dragon reigns terror on us all. We've seen him even from Hogwild.
Speaker 6:Wow. Wow. Willy, your family's in danger.
Speaker 10:The city itself has been spared, but we have seen him fly.
Hannah / Eryn:This is bad news. Hogwild is, like, all wood. Yeah. A shiz. Oh, shit.
Tim / GM:Oh, shit.
Speaker 6:So where does this dragon dwell?
Speaker 10:It roosts north in the caldera, in the heart of
Speaker 6:the mountain. Cold area in the mountain.
Tim / GM:I'm gonna say Delorean, like, looks at some of your friends and then looks back at you and says, yes.
Speaker 6:This narrows it down, doesn't it, Bert?
Hannah / Eryn:The cold area? What?
Tim / GM:Which is so funny. I said caldera, which is literally a volcano possum. And he's like, the cold area.
Speaker 3:Yes. On top of
Tim / GM:a mountain. So perfect. Yeah.
Speaker 3:How can you love snack? Oh my
Speaker 9:god. So good.
Speaker 10:He says, yes. If you seek to end the Crimson kite, you you must. It would liberate us all from our nightmares. Master Snack, is this what you've called me for?
Speaker 6:You have done all that is expected of you, Delorium, at this time. But, yes, that is our plan.
Speaker 10:You you do not intend for me to face the dragon alone then?
Speaker 6:I mean, if you were gonna do it No. Thank you, master Snack. So merciful. Of course. Yes.
Speaker 6:We'll take 1 bacon for the road.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He looks up at it, and his eyes go wide. And he reaches for it, and he goes, in disfuse. I know.
Speaker 3:Hey, Snack. Yes. You're a kobold.
Speaker 6:Well, sort of. Yeah.
Speaker 3:We're a kobold.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Were there more of you?
Speaker 6:Oh, yes. Yes. There was a whole brood dwelling within the mountains.
Speaker 3:And you guys, like, tend to serve dragons. Right?
Speaker 6:What we as we aspire to, of course. Yes.
Speaker 3:So if there was a dragon Mhmm. Around that needed servants, would your family be doing that?
Speaker 6:Oh, yes. They'd be overjoyed. I'm sure.
Speaker 3:Is that going to be a problem for you if we have to kill any of them?
Speaker 6:Well, perhaps they haven't heard about it yet. We we might be able to beat them to it. I think we should go ask them. Yes. Of course.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. So it sounds like we wanna head towards Hogwild, but do we need to go stop outside of town, check on your family at all, Uli, or just head to Snack's
Speaker 3:cave. We're heading through Hogwild. We can stop in.
Tim / GM:The absolute closest you could get to Vindorn is a turnpike outside of Hogwild that, like, the road leads north for Vindorn or, southwest for Lamplight or west for Hogwild. It's like a crossroads.
Thomas / Guy:The Throrok. The
Tim / GM:Throrc. It's another Throrc.
Speaker 3:A Throrc. It's a Throrc.
Speaker 9:I'm sorry.
Hannah / Eryn:It has three roads. Does that sound like an acceptable game plan? I mean, we can go on foot, but it seems silly to do that. At least if we stop in that area, we can maybe get some intel more easily, scope out the situation a little bit, make sure Hog Wild's not burnt down because it's made of wood, check-in on some brothers. Holly's weekend and pointing at Uly.
Speaker 3:Don't know what you mean by that.
Hannah / Eryn:Never mind. Then she blushes.
Speaker 3:I'm just gonna ignore that.
Speaker 7:Let's just stop in Uggwelt because if the dragon has been seen there, we might get more information.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Maybe from a more reliable source. Yeah. Maybe find out some more info, and we can see if
Speaker 7:Not that I don't think your goblin friend is quite reliable.
Speaker 6:He's a hobgoblin, first of all.
Speaker 7:I'm so sorry.
Speaker 6:It's alright.
Hannah / Eryn:Do you know anything if the caravan ever made its way back? The last we saw of them
Speaker 3:was when we scried. Right?
Thomas / Guy:That's right.
Hannah / Eryn:And that was just a couple days ago.
Speaker 7:Should we check-in on them again?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, maybe they're in Hogwild. But why don't we go there today? We can find out more info from your family that is there, and then if they're not there, Bert can try to reach him.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Guys, wait. Are we just gonna leave my parents in a lurch then?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. They kinda suck.
Speaker 3:In a lurch. Sorry.
Speaker 6:I don't know.
Thomas / Guy:I don't know what to do. I came down here ready to be all mad at you guys, but I think I'm just mad at them.
Hannah / Eryn:Mad at us?
Thomas / Guy:Well, last night, you were talking about killing my parents or letting them die or whatever, and it made me a little mad.
Speaker 7:But I am so sorry. It is it is not that
Hannah / Eryn:I'm sure there are fine people.
Speaker 7:I I wish things were different, but you know what they are.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. I know. I wish they were doing cool stuff like traveling around the country, leaving bone clues like Europe.
Speaker 7:I I do not wish them harm, and we have more important things to worry about right now, but, eventually their time will come. It is not up to me.
Hannah / Eryn:I also don't think it's in our business model to be helping liches find their gemstones or whatever the heck they're called.
Speaker 7:I do. I don't think
Speaker 3:we have a a business model.
Speaker 7:I do think that we should gather them, and I do think that Bert's parents may be our best bet to get into Vindor.
Speaker 3:I feel like we've been pretty good about finding alternate solutions to things that maybe people don't want us to find. Sure.
Speaker 7:So maybe if we gather the phalactories and bring them to Bert's parents, maybe there is an alternate option.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. I feel better about this.
Thomas / Guy:I just it really shook me, and I hope I'm not too distracted.
Speaker 6:I didn't have a strong desire to kill your parents, Bert, I must say.
Thomas / Guy:Now I'd find that unusual for you, Snake. Yes. I think you're showing some real growth.
Speaker 7:Okay. I, I think that the dragon needs to come first. We need to do that first, and and then everything else can come after that. But we should go to Uggwild, get information on the dragon, and deal with that.
Speaker 6:You know, why don't
Thomas / Guy:we learn as much as we can right now? I've been meaning to do this. Legend lore entry, Vikshi the red dragon.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm
Speaker 3:imagining, like, a nineties VHS.
Tim / GM:I was going that
Speaker 6:direction. Yeah. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:So you wanna know about Vixi, the red dragon?
Tim / GM:Hi. I'm Bob Saget.
Speaker 9:That was really good.
Speaker 3:Oh, I love it.
Tim / GM:Alright. So, Bert, the, the the text comes flying into your vision just like a whisper quill, and you kind of read across. Vikshi is an adult red dragon. You know that Vikshi, by necessity, has to live in a volcanic area. You know that Vixi, specifically, is what the other dragons called neurotic or paranoid, and seeks out places that are are chockablock full of traps and things that can defend him from entry.
Speaker 9:It's dragon after snack's own heart.
Tim / GM:You also know in spite of all this, that Vixi was an important political figure in the dragon sphere, and he has recently abandoned his post, and it is causing waves. And broods are, like, militarizing over this, and it's going to become, like, a new dragon war if this continues. That is it for the legend lore on Vixxi.
Thomas / Guy:Good stuff. I got some ideas percolating.
Speaker 9:Why don't we
Thomas / Guy:head to Hog Wild and see what else we can gather?
Speaker 3:Okay. I'm gonna go talk to Dave and Emery and see what the what the hell is up. I don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:Sounds good. I'll load up the imaginary Carl cart. Well, it's real, but Carl's kind of imaginary, and Holly heads out to find the cart.
Speaker 9:Still talking about the distinction between what's real and what's imaginary in that cart situation.
Thomas / Guy:I think
Speaker 3:we go
Hannah / Eryn:on another plane. So, you know, it's just like, you know, you wouldn't really think they were.
Tim / GM:Down in the docks, Dave and Buster. I'm gonna have to say Buster and Dave are down there.
Speaker 3:I'm just I'm just feeling so bad
Speaker 9:on the docks. Docks today.
Speaker 3:That's a common, idiom here in Limelight.
Tim / GM:Dave says, hey, Ole. It's good to see you. Buster was feeling a little down in the docks this morning, so I thought I'd get him some sun sunshine.
Speaker 3:Sorry. It's just so good.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He leans over to Buster, and, he starts, like, buttoning Buster's shirt. And Buster kind of, like, swats his hand away. He says, I can do that part. Come on.
Speaker 3:Glad to see you guys are doing okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He's he'll be alright.
Speaker 3:So listen.
Tim / GM:Yeah. About yesterday. Shit.
Speaker 6:Okay. It comes natural today.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So interrupting me.
Speaker 9:It hurts so good.
Speaker 3:Oh, I would just we're heading out today to probably go fight a big dragon. You you're staying. Right?
Tim / GM:I'm sorry. I
Speaker 3:No. No. That's it's fine. I just wanted, clarification. Do you know where Emery is?
Tim / GM:He's not at the tavern at the tangled jib.
Speaker 3:I didn't see him, but he could still be asleep.
Tim / GM:Oh, let me tell you. We've been traveling together for a while. He is a late riser.
Speaker 3:Okay. So still asleep. What time is it?
Tim / GM:It's, like, 11.
Speaker 3:I'll go find him. I just wanted to say goodbye, for now.
Tim / GM:Well, hey. And he kinda like, he like you see him flinch and, like, put out a hand,
Speaker 3:and then he
Tim / GM:kinda puts it back by his side and, like, swings it back and forth. He says, Listen, I didn't mean to get all dramatic yesterday.
Speaker 3:No. It's fine. Emotions were high. That stuff happens, as you know.
Tim / GM:You know, about the stuff. We like, one day at a time. Yeah. Or, like, it's not urgent.
Speaker 3:Right. It can we can go slow.
Tim / GM:But it's not like I don't like you. I'd
Speaker 3:No. It's well, we can talk about it later. It was nice seeing you again.
Tim / GM:When are you gonna be back?
Speaker 3:I don't I don't know. After the dragon, we're going to Vindorn.
Tim / GM:Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And, you know, psycho ghost inhabiting a dwarf vampire that controls an entire city of people.
Tim / GM:You You can see him getting, like, more and more nervous by the minute he says, yeah. Maybe I will find my way up there.
Speaker 3:If you do, just be safe about it.
Tim / GM:I will. Of course.
Speaker 3:Alright. And I always got an eye on you, and I punch him in the arm.
Tim / GM:He goes
Speaker 3:God, I hate
Speaker 10:this so much.
Speaker 6:I like how Hannah manufactured this to begin with. I know.
Tim / GM:I was
Hannah / Eryn:like, out
Speaker 6:of nowhere.
Hannah / Eryn:It's just
Speaker 6:like No.
Speaker 8:It's it. It's real.
Speaker 3:A random joke at the beginning.
Speaker 9:She manifested it.
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm. I'm good at that. Please, for the love of God, hug or something. Holly, what are you doing here? Did you hear a voice in your head?
Hannah / Eryn:No.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I think you feel, Dave's, arm kind of cross over your neck and pull you in, and he's just suddenly, like, holding you tight to his body. And you can't hear what he's saying, but he's like
Speaker 3:I'm just patting him on the arm.
Tim / GM:And then he he, like, holds your shoulders and says, okay?
Speaker 3:Okay. Okay.
Tim / GM:Okay. You guys are gonna do fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean, that's what I always do.
Tim / GM:You hear a loud thwack, and you see Buster frustratedly walking away from a fishing pole, and he says, I don't get it. Why do you why do they even make them if you can't use the line? It's stupid.
Speaker 3:I'll let you handle that.
Speaker 2:And Dave just says, Buster, you gotta be patient.
Tim / GM:And he walks over to him.
Speaker 3:See you. Boys around.
Speaker 9:And then Lily walks away shaking her head.
Speaker 3:Awkward.
Tim / GM:You wait a second to see if they're gonna respond, but they're already kind of huddled together, and you're like and you just walk away. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly Hyacinth.
Tim / GM:You've got everything is packed back into the wagon, all nice and neat.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly has a checklist, and she is checking things off. Like, mhmm. Yep. Two bed rolls. Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm. 4 blankets. Yeah. Mhmm. Bug spray.
Hannah / Eryn:Yep. Check.
Speaker 3:Bug spray.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Carl's going through the checklist with you. And Carl is very much, like, on your team for pretty much everything. He's just he just kinda, like, feels your vibe.
Hannah / Eryn:Carl gets me. Yeah. Okay.
Tim / GM:He's like he's like, and that is triple check. Let's get this show on the road.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, yeah. Let's do it.
Tim / GM:High five.
Hannah / Eryn:We high five.
Tim / GM:We do that. Carl looks behind him and says, all aboard.
Hannah / Eryn:All aboard.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Hold on a second. I have to find Emery.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Tim / GM:I think, Uli, you make it all the way back to Emery's room, and he is laying on the floor in, like, a, like, a sheet that is wrapped around him just in underwear.
Speaker 3:Oh, Emery.
Tim / GM:And you see, like I don't know. He's a well muscled dude, but he's also, like, full of bruises and scars. And he's just been, like, whatever bidet got, Emery got it twice.
Speaker 3:Nudge him with my foot.
Tim / GM:He wakes up and his eyes go straight yellow and he stares up at you.
Speaker 3:Hi, Emery's ghost.
Tim / GM:And then the the yellow kind of like fades, and then you see Emery's actual face, and he's like very sleepy, tired looking, and he goes, what?
Speaker 3:Are you coming with us?
Tim / GM:He rolls over into a sheet and says, yes.
Speaker 3:Alright. We're going now. Up and at him, and I whip the sheet off of him.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 6:And
Speaker 3:he goes tumbling across the floor.
Tim / GM:Alright. I think a few minutes later, Emery shows up, like, holding a wrapped up bedsheet with a bunch of stuff in it, and he's, like, shirtless in trousers right in front of the portal in the wagon. And his hair is, like, all messed up. Found him.
Speaker 7:Oh, Emery, you can sit next to me if you want in the carriage.
Hannah / Eryn:About time. Alright. We got Emery. Say here.
Thomas / Guy:You gotta do it, man. Here.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Thank you. Uli? Present. Great.
Hannah / Eryn:Snack?
Speaker 6:I am here. Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Awesome. Tibeo. I'm here. And Bert. Present.
Hannah / Eryn:And Holly Hyacinth. Check. Check. Check. Oh, bidet.
Hannah / Eryn:Let's not forget. Great. And Carl. Yeah. Alright.
Hannah / Eryn:Are we ready to get this show on the road? Someone put Yes. Someone put something in my coffee this way, I think. Alright. I love the enthusiasm from Tibio and Uli.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Let's
Speaker 6:didn't get mentioned.
Hannah / Eryn:Let's go ahead and, do this portal.
Tim / GM:K. Yeah. You see Carl starts doing little tippy taps and excitement.
Speaker 7:Miss miss Early, can you maybe make the butter a little less, peppy?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Yeah. Slow it down. And Holly does it in slow motion, and I'm imagining that it just is like honey
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Pouring out, going through this portal. Also,
Speaker 3:we should put bidet in the cart. Right?
Hannah / Eryn:He can just walk next to it. It's fine.
Speaker 9:He got legs.
Speaker 3:He's not gonna die.
Hannah / Eryn:He can't go in the cart. He's He's very stinky.
Speaker 6:He's tied to the cart, so he'll come through one way.
Tim / GM:Alright? Holly, you complete your slow circle. And slow as you might have been, it did nothing to ease the aggression of your portal.
Speaker 3:Alright. Hang on, I guess.
Thomas / Guy:There we go again.
Tim / GM:When it cracks open, a few bystanders kind of look on, and they're
Speaker 2:all just like, oh, a portal. Woah.
Tim / GM:You start to gather a small crowd that starts to get closer, and you're just like, don't.
Thomas / Guy:Stay clear, folks.
Tim / GM:They all kind of, back off with a little gasp, and they're, like, giggling and laughing. Somebody picks up a pebble and throws it through the portal, and they all giggle again.
Speaker 3:Zoom. You hear
Thomas / Guy:That could affect the ecosystem.
Tim / GM:Somebody pushes through the little crowd there and says, hey. Hey, guys. Guys. Hey. Holly.
Tim / GM:Holly, an item is being thrown towards you. Can you make a Dex check to grab it?
Hannah / Eryn:15?
Speaker 6:Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. It's plenty. Did you catch it? Todd Pohl has thrown you a a little wooden bobber. And he says, Holly, I didn't think you guys would be leaving so soon.
Tim / GM:But anyway, I just wanted to give this to you before you left. It's really nothing. It's magic, but it's not. You know, I've looked at it every way a wizard can, but it's it's nothing. But still, it always catches a fish.
Tim / GM:And it always gives me a date too when I wear it around my neck.
Speaker 6:I don't know.
Tim / GM:You guys need the best leg up you can get.
Hannah / Eryn:Thanks, Todd. I appreciate it.
Tim / GM:Good luck out there, guys. You know, I'm not I'm not half the magician that you are, any of you. You guys are great. Everybody knows that.
Speaker 7:I don't know, mister Paul. I saw you swing from the ropes under the underdark.
Tim / GM:Oh, yeah. And remember
Thomas / Guy:when you drove the boat straight up that tower of water? Yeah. Pretty cool.
Tim / GM:That I'll never forget. That was also thanks to you guys.
Speaker 7:Well, take care of lamp light for us.
Tim / GM:Oh, I will.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Keep Tandy in line.
Speaker 3:I would like to have switched my patch.
Tim / GM:Oh, okay. To what?
Speaker 3:To the Dave patch.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 9:On your way out of town, you're just like, I miss him already.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I I didn't say anything about it. It's just I am now stronger. You're silently growing horns.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I have horns. And those ribs.
Tim / GM:Biceps. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And my strength increases by 4.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay. Alright. Through the portal?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I guess I'm portaling to right outside of Hogwild.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. So the portal is looking right at the gates of Hogwild. Mhmm. So when you cross through, you're kind of rocketed straight into the the entryway with a main gate lifted.
Tim / GM:You guys are all expecting it this time, so it gives you advantage, each of you, but I need a strength save to not lose your shit as you go through the portal.
Speaker 3:Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. That was really good timing.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna roll bad anyway.
Thomas / Guy:I got 2 lucky thirties.
Speaker 9:17, a dirty 24.
Speaker 6:21.
Hannah / Eryn:21. Damn.
Tim / GM:13. 13. 13's the only one that doesn't quite make it. Oh. But, thankfully, your book opens and breaks your fall.
Hannah / Eryn:Scooped it up. Okay.
Tim / GM:So, yeah, your book opens and the pages, like, catch you softly and, like, lift you back up.
Thomas / Guy:Thanks, Buck.
Hannah / Eryn:Everyone make it okay? I think we got everybody. We don't have to do a roll call again. I think we're all here.
Tim / GM:Carts intact.
Speaker 6:Mhmm.
Hannah / Eryn:Thanks, Carl.
Speaker 3:How's bidet?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. How's bidet looking?
Tim / GM:Bidet was cut in half by the pool. Oh,
Speaker 6:no. Oh, god.
Speaker 3:He's still alive somehow.
Hannah / Eryn:We killed an immortal soul. Is bidet okay?
Tim / GM:Yes. He's fine.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Great. I guess I'm gonna drive the cart right over to, the inn. Okay. What is it called?
Tim / GM:Hair of the hog.
Hannah / Eryn:Hair of the hog.
Tim / GM:You enter in there, and you see it's like something happened here last night. This place is
Thomas / Guy:Oh, sorry. I was gonna ask, how's the town looking since we left?
Tim / GM:The town itself is looking great. The, new water tower is, like, half When you walk into the hair of the hog, this place looks like a battlefield. There are chairs tipped everywhere. There are people laying on the floor and tables. But all considered, it's really not that out of the ordinary.
Tim / GM:You see it Barrett at the bar quietly cleaning up after a night of debauchery. He just says, hello again.
Speaker 3:Is that any way to greet your sister?
Tim / GM:Hello again, sister?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh. Oh. Hi, Barrett. How's it going? Is, is Bent around?
Tim / GM:Bent is resting.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, you better tell him I'm here. Tell him Holly hasn't sent you.
Tim / GM:Somehow, I think he knows. Like, you see Ben open the door and kind of, like, skids in the door, and he goes, good morning, everyone. How are we doing?
Speaker 3:Hi. Wow. That's enthusiastic. Hi, Ben.
Hannah / Eryn:How's it going?
Tim / GM:There it is. I had a feeling. Hi, Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:We're back. What am I?
Speaker 3:Chop liver?
Speaker 2:Holy.
Speaker 3:Hi.
Tim / GM:Hey. Holly, are you staying? Or
Speaker 3:Jesus.
Hannah / Eryn:I mean, we'll see what happens. But, no, we actually are on a very important mission. Holly, stay focused.
Tim / GM:You see, Beth kind of, like, draw his focus too. Like, okay. Sorry.
Speaker 3:What the fuck?
Hannah / Eryn:Wait. Uli Uli doesn't know.
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, okay. Then we're secret lovers.
Speaker 3:Just got a man in every port.
Hannah / Eryn:You know how I work. Okay. Except lamp plate. That's fine.
Speaker 9:Toddpole is the one true love there. No. He's your platonic true love.
Hannah / Eryn:He's, like, my dad. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Barrett says, I assume you're here because of the dragon.
Speaker 6:Why did you look at me when you said that?
Tim / GM:I'm sorry. I didn't mean any offense, but you are a dragon. Ah, thank you. Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. We were called back. We heard there was a red dragon terrorizing nearby. We just came to town to see if you've heard anything or know anything about what's going on.
Speaker 7:And to make sure you are all alright.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. That too.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Because I appreciate your concern. We are alright. All of us are all alright.
Speaker 7:That is good to hear.
Speaker 3:Have you heard from Ilya Mhmm. And Dor?
Tim / GM:They went to Findorn, didn't they, with the caravan?
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's what I was worried about.
Thomas / Guy:Things haven't been so hot for people up in Vindorn. We've heard about caravans being turned away or even lost.
Tim / GM:I am doubly concerned because I do not think Dor would allow himself to be turned away.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Well, we have ways of checking in, so we could probably do that.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. That might be smart to do before we head out. We're heading north.
Tim / GM:For the mountains.
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm. We heard there's a dragon in a in the cold place. Right, Snack?
Speaker 6:Yes. This was what was said. Have has your Hamlet sworn allegiance to any of the dragons?
Tim / GM:We have not contacted the dragons. He has merely flown by a number of times. Interesting.
Speaker 7:Snug, I do not think that the dragon is in a cold place.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, sorry. Cold area was what he said. Cold area.
Speaker 7:Yes. I believe that's fine. That is what he said.
Thomas / Guy:He's gonna be near the volcano.
Hannah / Eryn:There's a volcano?
Tim / GM:Oh. You all hear, I am come I have finished my task, master Barrett. If you please pay me my due. You see him putting away a knife and fork, and he says, I have destroyed all of the rats in the basement. Delorium sees all of you and says, master Snack, what
Speaker 6:did you just call him? Yuck.
Tim / GM:Master Snack nearly no. It's it's just a colloquialism. He employs me for money, not for my spirit, not for passion. What
Speaker 6:did you call him?
Tim / GM:He he takes off his shirt, and he kneels at your feet. And he, like, gets on the floor, and you can hear him, like like, kind of like mock crying. He says, please, master Snack.
Speaker 3:Snack. A good leader is kind.
Speaker 10:Your mercy is legendary.
Speaker 3:Benevolent.
Speaker 6:Benevolent. It's
Speaker 3:what they call it.
Thomas / Guy:I see. Well, save your vengeance for victory.
Speaker 6:Yes. Delorean, what you have said is true. All the rats are no longer in the basement.
Speaker 10:They're in my belly.
Speaker 6:I I was implying because you left in the basement, and you are
Tim / GM:a rat. Master snack. Such words cut me deeply.
Speaker 6:Snack. What? That's
Hannah / Eryn:a good burn. Not kinder, but deep.
Thomas / Guy:A pretty good turn for a snack.
Tim / GM:He takes the butter knife out of his pocket and he says, shall I remove the tattoo, master snack?
Speaker 3:Guys, I think we're going too far.
Thomas / Guy:Hey. I worked hard on that.
Speaker 6:That is quite alright, Deloria. My lost my temper. Now I must understand that you have other suitors.
Tim / GM:He stands up and he says, well, it's good to see all of you.
Speaker 6:Yes. Can you clarify something for us, Delorium? Yeah. Where was this dragon residing again?
Tim / GM:Can you say the mountain caldera?
Thomas / Guy:See, caldera, that means a volcano, Snag.
Speaker 6:I of course I know that, Bert. Yes.
Tim / GM:Before, I said something different, didn't I? I must have.
Speaker 6:You did misspeak, I think. Yes. I did. Yes. Wonderful.
Hannah / Eryn:Whatever. We know this dragon is in the mountain. We're going there. I don't think it'll be super hard
Speaker 3:to find. But, you know, that's about the easiest.
Hannah / Eryn:I guess we're gonna probably have to fight it. So if you have any advice, we'll take it. If you have any magic items that'll help us, we'll take them. If you wanna help, maybe not because then you'll probably be a liability.
Tim / GM:Well, I don't have much information except for the dragon is large, and it does not behave as a dragon.
Speaker 7:It is being man controlled, not unlike the way that Oakwild was the last time we were here. The same person actually has done the man control and through the same methodology as well through the water. You know the reason that we had to destroy the water tower was because the water was poisoned with the man control stuff that Joe created, and he put it in this big old lake. And the dragon swooped down and drank the water, now it is man controlled. Yeah.
Speaker 7:Yep.
Thomas / Guy:Did we not explain the water tower thing before we left?
Speaker 7:I don't know if we did.
Speaker 3:We had a party
Thomas / Guy:That's an oops. Instead.
Tim / GM:Barrett's kind of nodding, and he says, there were many questions about the water tower we were unable to answer. Thank you. Mind control. This is the same person. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Was it the right thing to make him leave here?
Speaker 7:Yeah. Very much so.
Tim / GM:This seems worse than him just destroying Hog Wild.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah. No. It's definitely worse.
Speaker 7:He would not have ended here.
Thomas / Guy:But Hog Wild is safe now.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, relatively. We're gonna make it safer, hopefully. Or we'll all die. So you know.
Speaker 7:And if we die, it will not be a problem anymore.
Speaker 3:I don't plan on dying.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't know about you, but Ever? Are you a witch? Not yet. Oh god.
Tim / GM:Don't have much in the way of magic items. We do have this tiny cannon.
Speaker 9:Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right.
Speaker 3:Keep that thing far away from me.
Speaker 6:Do you
Hannah / Eryn:have any more ooey coollies?
Tim / GM:I've been trying the formula, but it's very difficult. I've only made these. He presents something that looks similar, but it is a very dull liquid. It's like a very, like, pale blue that doesn't look quite the same. It doesn't have that, like, effervescent energy to it.
Tim / GM:These will restore 3 spell slots, and he's got 3 of them. It's
Thomas / Guy:an oele kooley 0.
Hannah / Eryn:Yikes. Holly Holly takes one of the oele kooley zeroes. I'll take one of those.
Thomas / Guy:If there's enough for everyone, I'll take one.
Speaker 6:There's only 3 of them. Oh.
Speaker 7:You can all have them. I'm okay.
Thomas / Guy:Well, I think, I think the curse breaker should have them.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Speaker 3:Well, there's 4 of us now.
Thomas / Guy:It's never used as spell slots anyway.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Well, lovely to see you again, Benth.
Tim / GM:Benth is like, does that mean you're leaving?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. We gotta go. Maybe we can drop by your parents' place, Uli, on the way out of town. Just check-in on them.
Tim / GM:Ben says it's been a long time, but I could.
Hannah / Eryn:Ben, God. Anyway, thank you for the information. And the, diet ooey cooleys. Think you're trying to send a message, but I got it.
Tim / GM:Barrett looks a little embarrassed.
Hannah / Eryn:Loud and clear.
Tim / GM:So I'll keep working on it.
Speaker 3:These are great. Thank you.
Tim / GM:Good luck, Uli.
Speaker 7:Stay safe.
Speaker 3:And if we fail, I guess, leave town.
Speaker 7:If we fail, run very, very far.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Go to Lamp Plate, baby.
Tim / GM:Says, well, whatever happens, just let us know. We've been making a lot of money doing these kind of, like, end of the world sales. The dragon could attack any day. Let's drink like crazy. You know?
Tim / GM:Wow.
Hannah / Eryn:That's a good business. Like, good, smart, you know, capitalize.
Tim / GM:He shrugs.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright. Let's, get out of here, guys.
Speaker 9:So we're gonna visit Uli's parents
Speaker 7:real quick and then
Speaker 9:dip? Hogwap.
Speaker 3:Okay. I mean, I feel like they're kind of on the way.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah? Yep. Okay.
Tim / GM:You, drop by and pull up on Uli's father sitting out on the front porch. He's got a sweating glass of lemonade, and he's got his banjo on, isn't he? But he hasn't quite started yet. He He looks out out at all of you approaching, and he says, hey. I was just thinking about all of you.
Speaker 3:All of us? All
Tim / GM:of you. You especially, Uli.
Speaker 3:Thanks, papa.
Tim / GM:How you doing, Fireball?
Speaker 3:Never better. Also, no one's mentioned the fact that I have horns. So
Tim / GM:I accept you for whoever you are and whatever you wanna do. You wanna grow horns? I'm all for it.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Hannah / Eryn:That's so nice.
Tim / GM:You hear, Uli, what in the hell? What is this? And your mother steps outside and starts, like, feeling your horns. She's like, come on.
Speaker 3:They aren't permanent.
Tim / GM:And how many new tattoos? And she starts, like, turning you around.
Speaker 3:Just the one. The nose piercing is new also. But
Tim / GM:Well, you guys being here makes me think there's something to do with the dragon. Am I right?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Have you seen it around?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I've seen it around. It's up there. She points up and says, not right now, but it's out there.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, like, does a double take. Like, where is it?
Speaker 9:Tibio goes up to Uli's dad. Excuse me,
Speaker 7:sir Uli's father. I was wondering if you could show me another chord.
Speaker 9:I have I'd I still remember these ones, and he plays 3 chords.
Tim / GM:He says, that is so much better than when you started. Wow.
Speaker 7:Oh, thank you. I've been working very hard.
Tim / GM:That's fantastic. You guys must have really encouraged him and supported him.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 9:Tibio's grin fades
Speaker 3:only a little.
Tim / GM:That's fantastic progress. Yeah. I can show you some new chords. Come here.
Speaker 3:And I sit next to him.
Speaker 9:And anything that comes out of my lute at this point,
Speaker 3:you get Uli gets an inspiration and then Emery. I wanna give him an inspiration.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Emery's hanging back a little bit here. He seems, like, nervous to even approach your parents. So he's just, like, not considering himself part of the group.
Tim / GM:He's, like, he's suddenly, like, keenly interested in the the the bark of a tree, and he's leaning in like, like, oh, look at this.
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's, Emery.
Tim / GM:He, like, look turns around really quick, and then he kinda, like, looks around double takes and holds up a hand like, yeah. Hey.
Speaker 3:He's nobody special.
Hannah / Eryn:But you do know Uli does have somebody No. Special.
Speaker 3:I don't. And that's all we yep. We can go now.
Hannah / Eryn:Did I mention Uli?
Speaker 3:We can go. We're we have business. It was good to see you, mom and dad.
Tim / GM:No. No. No. Hold on. Uli, I I don't want you fighting a dragon.
Tim / GM:Okay? I'm sorry. I gotta put my foot down on this one.
Speaker 3:Mother, I am 40 now.
Tim / GM:She says, I I knew the road wasn't gonna be kind to you, and I didn't wanna say anything, but damn, Uli. What happened?
Speaker 3:I had,
Tim / GM:I mean, the horns, the bags under the eyes.
Speaker 3:A fairy took some of my life.
Tim / GM:I knew it.
Speaker 3:And then I accidentally took some of my own.
Tim / GM:Did you go to the Feywild?
Speaker 3:No. What?
Tim / GM:Well You didn't go to the Feywild? Because I told you not to go there.
Speaker 3:Went to memoir.
Speaker 7:It is, my own where I am from.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's not my fault. Kind of not my fault.
Tim / GM:Alright. Well, listen. Ueli is not to fight any dragons. I'm sorry, but I'm her mother. You can all understand.
Speaker 7:That you are her mother? Of
Speaker 3:course. Yeah. Well, you heard her. So, guess, keep me out of the puddle.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright. Well, Uli can stay here, and we'll all go fight the dragon without you, Uli.
Speaker 6:Any last words you want to say to us, Uli, before we all die fighting this dragon?
Speaker 3:Well, so long, suckers.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Yep.
Tim / GM:Your mom says, well, I had to do my due diligence as your mother. You know? Now you're gonna do what you're gonna do.
Hannah / Eryn:But Yeah. Moms can't say, yeah. Go kill a fun dragon.
Tim / GM:Yeah. That's exactly right, Fortune.
Hannah / Eryn:Wow. Alright. Uli, definitely don't listen to her. Hey.
Thomas / Guy:I'll tell you something you can do for us. Please. Have a party ready for us when we get back.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't like that. That's bad luck.
Tim / GM:What's wrong with celebrating before you've even started?
Speaker 3:I'm so confused.
Hannah / Eryn:This is a hog wild thing, I think. In Tildry, it's bad luck to celebrate unless you've actually had success.
Tim / GM:I mean, you're not gonna lose. Right? So might as well celebrate now.
Speaker 3:I mean, we're just big on partying.
Hannah / Eryn:So I see. Uli, I hope, is gonna join us and might be a good chance to say goodbye for now.
Tim / GM:I know. Just trying to make it a little easier. You know?
Speaker 3:I'm sorry. I just gotta live my life.
Tim / GM:She, gets close to Uli and hugs her. And, Uli, while she's holding you close, she whispers in your ear, go fucking wild.
Speaker 3:That I can do.
Tim / GM:Around that time, Tibio and, Uli's father kind of sync up on their chords. And then, Tibio just plays the same couple of chords over and over again, and then, Uli's father kind of noodles in between. You all just take a quick peaceful second before you hear
Speaker 3:Oh, no.
Speaker 7:It's Oh.
Speaker 3:It's tie fighters.
Tim / GM:You all look up to see, the shadow of a dragon returning north toward the mountains.
Thomas / Guy:Hey, folks. We gotta come up with a game plan here.
Speaker 3:I have never killed a dragon before. So
Thomas / Guy:Well, in the stories, when they kill dragons, it's as much about physical prowess as it is mind games. You gotta play to the dragon's weaknesses.
Hannah / Eryn:Paranoia? Yeah. And mine he's mind controlled By Joe. By Joe. So we know that we can't Control it.
Hannah / Eryn:Control it.
Thomas / Guy:There's only one person I know who has beat back Joe's mind control, and that's Emory.
Hannah / Eryn:And Law.
Thomas / Guy:Law might have weaned himself off of it. I'm not sure what was going on there.
Tim / GM:Emory looks around kinda blank face and says, that wasn't me. That was, the kid. You know? I don't have a name for him yet, but the spirit thing, he doesn't let anybody else in. Not really.
Thomas / Guy:So if the dragon's not already cursed, we probably don't have a play there.
Tim / GM:I would think not.
Speaker 3:What do red dragons do? Fire?
Thomas / Guy:They they do fire. We know this guy is very paranoid. And we also know he was, an important figure in the dragon world. And there could be a lot of other dragons out there who want his head. We already know of 1 well too.
Hannah / Eryn:I guess I was just thinking we face it head on, but I don't even know what strategy we could do.
Thomas / Guy:I mean, I don't I I think if we can avoid it, I don't wanna face this guy in his headquarters. You know? He's got all sorts of nasty traps in there.
Tim / GM:Fat chance Joe's gonna put himself out in the open, not more than the dragon.
Speaker 7:Right. I can only imagine that he is somewhere far enough away that he is not in danger,
Speaker 3:but close enough to control him. So within a 1000 feet.
Speaker 7:Mhmm. Yes.
Thomas / Guy:He expects the 5 of us, but maybe he doesn't expect Emre.
Speaker 6:Maybe we could, look for reinforcements perhaps.
Hannah / Eryn:Do you know anyone in the mountains here that could help us?
Speaker 3:What if we all looked like kobolds?
Speaker 6:I mean, that sounds very cool.
Speaker 7:Maybe we could find out if your, family is serving this dragon. And if they are, maybe they could get us inside if we presented ourselves as also serving the dragon?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I think we wanna try to draw him out though, not go to the
Speaker 7:To where he can fly?
Tim / GM:If we're gonna draw him out or if we want to draw him out, why don't we just start walking to Vindor? And if they're taking out every caravan that's headed north, we can just be one of those caravans.
Speaker 3:Is it the dragon taking them out? Conceivably.
Speaker 7:Yes. I I think that the caravan option makes sense because it is already what is happening. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:I didn't gather that it was the dragon doing that.
Thomas / Guy:I didn't either, but it makes sense.
Speaker 7:Especially if it is Joe in control and he is against Orzo to some extent.
Thomas / Guy:Well, we know Joe and Orzo aren't exactly aligned either. So
Speaker 3:Do we need Joe on our side?
Thomas / Guy:As much as I hate to say it
Speaker 7:He may know the way to cure all of Vindon's population.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. We need Joe alive.
Speaker 3:Yeah. He was the one your parents were looking
Speaker 7:for. Yes. And he had some very unique experiences and information that they thought they could use to save Vindor.
Speaker 3:So cure the influence he has over the dragon. Get him on our side.
Thomas / Guy:I don't know about that. I think it more along the lines of threatening him once we dispatch the dragon.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I do I do enjoy that. It'd be nice to check-in with Dor.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Dor could, give us some intel too. Dear Dor, we're back in Hogwild, here to take care of that nasty dragon that's around. Wonder if you're safe and if you knew anything. Sincerely, Bert.
Tim / GM:Actually, I don't think you see that it's seen, but you see that it was sent. So you know that door's alive. You wait just a couple minutes before you conclude that he's not going to respond, and what you do see is
Speaker 2:My instructions were to seek the vault of Thrain Forwick Nazzalren Lamborin, the demented architect atop the range and gear.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, Idris. Idris text back.
Tim / GM:So, it is the vault of Thrain, Thorwick Nazarin Lamarin.
Speaker 6:K.
Tim / GM:His title is the demented architect.
Speaker 9:This is one person. Yes. This is one person.
Speaker 3:Jesus.
Speaker 7:Okay. I was thinking
Speaker 9:this was, like, commas, commas, commas.
Thomas / Guy:Isn't Thrain, like, a title or something?
Speaker 3:That's Thane. Thane.
Thomas / Guy:Thane. Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Tim / GM:His, vault is atop the range and gear, which is the name of the mountain range here, snack. You like, upon hearing that, you correct Bert because they're called the anger mountains.
Speaker 6:Bert, it's you're being dumb. It's the Anger Mountains.
Thomas / Guy:Do you know this place, Nick?
Speaker 6:Yes. Yes. I do. Of course.
Thomas / Guy:Well, maybe you could lead us there. This is where Idris wanted us to go.
Speaker 3:So we have to go to this vault.
Thomas / Guy:Well, it seems like a good move.
Hannah / Eryn:And Idris is messaging you this?
Thomas / Guy:That's what Idris said. By the way, Dor is alive, but he hasn't messaged me back.
Speaker 3:Cool. Yeah. I'm sure he's fine.
Thomas / Guy:We know he's not hanging out with Idris.
Speaker 3:Is this a commonly known place, or is it a hidden place?
Tim / GM:The range and gear is is pretty well known. Some adventurers might know
Thomas / Guy:the vault Try to do
Speaker 6:a documented architecture. History check on this. For sure.
Speaker 3:I would also like to check to see if I know anything about it. Can I also because I live outside of the mountains Yeah? Or grew up here.
Tim / GM:Yep.
Speaker 6:And, 20.
Speaker 3:21.
Tim / GM:Snack knows some stuff. Do I roll or? Snack can roll with advantage
Thomas / Guy:for sure.
Speaker 6:Okay.
Tim / GM:Alright. 16. K. Tibia?
Speaker 9:Anything above forest level for Tibia is just kind of clouds.
Speaker 3:Okay. That's a natural one.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh. Alright.
Thomas / Guy:An architect is someone who builds things.
Tim / GM:So, Bert, you know the demented architect was someone who had been contracted by by kings and wretches alike to adorn tombs and other temples with traps of truly hellish reputation. The demented architect was like the trap maker. Also, every entrance to the vault of the demented architect is extremely well hidden. Okay. Uli.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You were told all your life to never go seeking caves in the mountains because they are full of damn traps, and they're gonna take your eyes out.
Speaker 3:So I get from a 21.
Tim / GM:You know where some of those entrances might be. Okay.
Thomas / Guy:Snacks, you know this guy?
Speaker 6:Snack, you
Tim / GM:know how to get in.
Speaker 3:It's like when we sealed the cars last time. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Snack, this seems like your kinda guy.
Speaker 6:I know of, these caves into the mountains. Hey. That's where I came from. It's my home.
Thomas / Guy:Do you think you can get us in without us dying from traps?
Speaker 6:Snack looks burnt up and down. I think so.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. You just
Speaker 6:have to follow my lead. Be very careful.
Speaker 3:I know of
Speaker 6:a couple. Oh, you know of a couple?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Just a few near here, so I don't know if those would be good ones. I don't know how you feel about those caves.
Speaker 6:Well, yeah. Let's go to the one I know that I came out of.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 6:Yes. And start there.
Speaker 3:Do we want a telepathy? Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:It's a good idea. Also, do we or
Speaker 3:do we not wanna be Kobalts also?
Hannah / Eryn:How would we be Kobalts?
Speaker 3:I have a spell
Hannah / Eryn:that lasts for 8 hours. Just to make us all animals?
Speaker 7:No. It would
Speaker 6:Excuse me, Holly?
Speaker 3:That's a bit insulting. I could cast seeming on all of us so we look And
Speaker 6:this will make us look like kobolds?
Speaker 3:I could. I might be a pretty tall one, but the rest of you should be.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, what does it do to our powers and, you know, our abilities?
Speaker 3:It doesn't change anything you can do. It's just
Thomas / Guy:And if it gets a spell, does it, like, go away? Or
Speaker 9:No. Great. We'd all just look like kobolds. We would still be us. We would still have our powers
Speaker 3:and our weapons and all that stuff.
Hannah / Eryn:I think this is an amazing idea.
Speaker 6:You have to all learn a little bit about being kobolds so you don't embarrass me, though.
Thomas / Guy:Are you sure this is okay, Snack? We're not, like, overstepping any bounds here, are we?
Speaker 6:I think it is, feels weird. We will be deceiving my family. We shall see. I think they will be more receptive of fellow kobolds, perhaps. I think this is a good plan.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You all, look off of the porch into the front yard, and, Genie is out there playing with bidet, and Genie is just spanking bidet over and over again. He's going, younger, younger, younger, younger. And he's like, snack. It just keeps
Speaker 3:going. Snack, we can't
Speaker 6:leave him behind. He's so fun. He can stay in the lamp. You're right.
Speaker 3:In the lamp?
Speaker 6:We have to bring bidet.
Tim / GM:He'll fit. Genie goes in the lamp, and you see, like, him pulling on bidet. He just grabs him by the lips and starts, like, yanking bidet inside, and bidet starts, like, squeezing down. And he's like, pretty please. Of course.
Tim / GM:Well, of course, we bring
Speaker 6:let me help you push, and then
Speaker 3:yeah. Okay. I guess he's coming with us.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright. We got the tea, and then
Thomas / Guy:And a quick Kobold lesson from
Hannah / Eryn:Sam. I think a Kobold lesson is in order.
Speaker 6:Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:And then we head out.
Speaker 6:We have to make this quick, though.
Speaker 3:Okay. Any preferences?
Speaker 7:Snack, are there purple gobolds?
Speaker 6:Where are you going with this, Tibio?
Speaker 7:I want to be a purple gobold.
Speaker 6:I mean, it will stand out. Next question.
Thomas / Guy:Maybe it could be more of a magenta.
Speaker 7:Okay. I just thought if we are any color we wanted to be, did it matter? But if we should all be red like you are, then maybe that's fine.
Speaker 6:You can be you can be purple. That's fine.
Speaker 3:Okay. Okay. Cast seeming on everyone, including myself, and I'm also going to roll for a search. We're good. K.
Speaker 6:So now we must practice.
Thomas / Guy:Tabille, you're in
Tim / GM:Uli, your dad just goes, what was in that tea?
Speaker 11:You shouldn't have drink some. That was our tea.
Speaker 9:Does it change our voices?
Speaker 3:We have to act the part.
Tim / GM:If you feel like it, but your mom is like, off the porch, all of you.
Speaker 6:Yeah. So I'll scamper like this,
Speaker 8:and then I run down to the side.
Speaker 3:Sorry, mom.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. Cobalt voice. I can I can do this? That's right.
Speaker 7:I don't know how to do it. How do I do it?
Speaker 6:Okay. Well, Tibio, if you want to survive, well, let's let's try this first. I pull out a knife. Alright. Pull out the knife.
Speaker 6:Tibio, where's your knife?
Speaker 9:I have a quarterstaff. Does that count? Or I have my
Tim / GM:skeletal Your your spine's function is a quarterstaff. If you're looking for something something sharp, we can say you've got a broken bone
Speaker 6:you
Speaker 7:can use. Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I have a bone. A bone
Thomas / Guy:and a
Speaker 6:skull on your head. So Snack swings towards Tibio with his dagger.
Speaker 7:What are you doing?
Speaker 6:You must always be prepared to be back stabbed.
Speaker 11:Always be prepared to be back stabbed.
Speaker 6:Yes. Yes.
Speaker 11:Holly, that is wonderful.
Speaker 6:That's a little too close, though.
Speaker 11:It's a little too close. Sorry.
Thomas / Guy:Okay.
Speaker 6:Next quick lesson. I set up the bear traps,
Speaker 8:and then, I rip out a piece of fabric and tie it on someone's eyes.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly Holly is following Snack around and just copying everything he's doing, and she's also, like, she wants to be she wanted to look exactly like Snack.
Speaker 6:Okay. Exactly.
Tim / GM:Yeah. They're they're near indistinguishable except for a couple items of clothing. Wow. That's so cool.
Speaker 12:Wow. So cool.
Speaker 3:I don't like being blindfolded.
Speaker 6:Yes. Well, sometimes rocks fall and there'll be a rumbling or they get spooked by something, and you need to be prepared to dodge traps,
Speaker 8:and I push Uli towards the spare
Speaker 3:traps. Oh oh, snack. I can't do this.
Tim / GM:K. Uli, give me a deck save with disadvantage.
Speaker 3:13?
Tim / GM:Uli steps into a bear trap.
Speaker 6:Oh, no.
Tim / GM:It springs off and clamps around your calf.
Speaker 8:That's 3 damage. Okay.
Speaker 3:Hey, next. What the fuck?
Speaker 6:You need to be prepared, Uli. This is not good. Yeah. We we can't practice too much, but you get the idea. Must be ready, and I pull out
Speaker 8:the dagger and, like,
Speaker 6:flash it at Bert. Good.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly also pulls out a dagger.
Speaker 3:I think Brangore is pretty Add your dexterity to that bird. Aesthetically this.
Thomas / Guy:Damn it. I like the other one. It's like 8. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Bert, you are not at all perfect.
Speaker 6:Yeah. Yeah.
Tim / GM:You fumble a quill out of your pocket.
Thomas / Guy:This is this is hard snack.
Speaker 6:This one too. Bert, you must be prepared. I will keep trying this on our journey.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Okay. I can get there.
Speaker 12:How do I how do I do the best?
Speaker 6:You don't practice it at all, and you just do it episode 1 and then you're just stuck with it for for literally a year. That's a
Speaker 12:Oh Oh, okay. How does this sound?
Thomas / Guy:Beautiful. Alright. I think we should let Snack do the talking.
Speaker 12:That is probably best.
Speaker 7:Yeah. Good idea.
Speaker 11:Being a cobalt is my true form.
Hannah / Eryn:And Holly is just, like, running around through the field behind behind Uli's parents' house.
Speaker 3:As, like, a flavor note, when I changed all of you, I, like, kept the same vibe, but I, Yeah. I, like Oh, yeah. Grunged everything up a bit. Like, Bert is just covered in feathers.
Thomas / Guy:Cool.
Speaker 3:He's got feathers everywhere instead of quills.
Thomas / Guy:Guys, we need we need cobalt names.
Speaker 3:I think Uli works.
Speaker 6:Oddly enough, Uli does kind of work. Yes.
Speaker 7:What about T Bone? T Bone?
Speaker 6:That's very good.
Tim / GM:Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 6:That's so cool.
Thomas / Guy:I wanna be I
Speaker 6:wanna change my no. No. I'm stuck. I'm staying with my name. Yes, Bert.
Thomas / Guy:I wanna be Munch.
Speaker 6:Munch. I I see.
Speaker 3:I like it.
Thomas / Guy:Do you know anyone named Munch?
Speaker 6:Nope. Nope. That's good. Yes. Yes.
Speaker 6:Munch, of course. I see a snack. Okay. I can guess. That took me a little while because it's munching on snacks.
Speaker 6:Yes. Yes. So
Hannah / Eryn:I was trying to, like, feminize snack somehow, because I sound I wanna be like girl snack. I can't figure out how to do it. Snackette? Too long. Snacky.
Speaker 3:I mean, the obvious unfortunate one is Snatch.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. My name is Snatch. No. We're doing it.
Speaker 3:Woof. I wrote it down
Hannah / Eryn:in canon. No. What?
Speaker 6:It's like
Tim / GM:it's like Snatch was trying to make up a name for himself. He's like, I'm Snatch.
Speaker 7:What have I done?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Alright.
Speaker 7:Oh, that's good.
Tim / GM:Yeah. So we'll say we're kind of walking and talking, heading north a little bit, kind of learning to be kobolds on the way.
Speaker 9:Mhmm. Stabbing squirrels.
Hannah / Eryn:Do we all, do we leave Carl in the wagon and
Tim / GM:ask? It's up to you guys. If you wanna leave the wagon with your parents or you wanna take it take it. Yeah. I think we should go
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. That's fine.
Thomas / Guy:On Kobold feet.
Tim / GM:Alright.
Speaker 11:So is the Kobolds go?
Tim / GM:You all, continue now. The first kind of landmark here, Uli, you might have seen this a couple times in your childhood. In your younger years, there was a a large kind of raging river that used to be here, but it is now a very small dry creek after the dam was constructed a good long while ago. This village, a few stone buildings and stuff is now burned to the ground completely. Just walking through the here, you see, like, a stone archway.
Tim / GM:You see, a couple birds that have gathered around, a little pedestal of holy water in, like, a burned down church.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:You can see everything here is just rock and gravel and dirt, already sparse with plants, even though you're not that far out of Hogwild. Everything here seems to have been touched by flame at some point, so that it's really not, not prospering.
Speaker 3:In Hogwild, we call this damnation. Wow.
Thomas / Guy:That's too ugly.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Walking around this town, the only point of interest is a, an intact cellar door.
Speaker 3:I want to open it.
Tim / GM:It is still latched. It is still closed.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly's gonna check for traps.
Speaker 6:Yes.
Speaker 11:I'm learning the ways.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Give me an investigation.
Hannah / Eryn:50.
Tim / GM:Okay. Holly, this cellar door is trapped. It's a trap. However, it's not your cobalt nature that warned you of this. It's actually your Holly nature that warned you of this.
Tim / GM:When you got close to the cellar door, you realized immediately that this thing is charged with necrotic energy ready to burst upon opening.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, telepathy's Tibio and says, there is a hell a lot of necrotic energy coming from that door. Everyone better stay back.
Speaker 9:Tibeo, magically reaches out to the door to see if
Speaker 3:he can get a sense for it.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Give me an investigation as well.
Speaker 9:22.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yes. You can tell that this door was intentionally warded by a wizard who wanted to keep people out of whatever was in this cellar. You with a 22 also know how to pretty much undo that like a bow tie. You can just kind of, like, pull the ends and have the necromancy fade out of that cellar door.
Speaker 9:Yeah. I would definitely like to do that.
Speaker 7:Everyone stand back. I'm going to, undo this ward.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Thavio just takes kind of like a tug of war motion and, like, puts his hands one in front of the other and gives it a big yank. And then you see the doors actually fly open when he does that. And you see this kind of, black radiant burst fly up towards the clouds and dissipate like dark smoke.
Speaker 6:So that was good, Tibia. But we what you really should have done is, tricked one of us into opening the door for you, triggering the trap, but, yeah, this works too. Good job.
Speaker 7:Thank you. Okay. So for our future, if, if we run into another one of these, I should not trick one of you, but I should trick a strange Kobold who I do not know.
Speaker 6:Oh, either either or is fine. That's Kobold being
Speaker 7:But I do not want to hurt my friends.
Speaker 6:I not you're not quite I don't. You're not quite getting it's T Bone. It's fine. We don't have to do that until we're, like, literally around other cobalts.
Tim / GM:Who's going down first?
Speaker 11:Me.
Tim / GM:Okay. Alright. Uli, the cobalt. Georgia, the country goes into the basement.
Hannah / Eryn:I like to imagine Uli as, like, kind of fatter because she's the big cobalt. Oh, yeah. She's, like, muscular, but she's also, like, the tubbiest and, like Yeah.
Tim / GM:Husky kobalt.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's, Gaines.
Tim / GM:You got, like, the thickest tail? Like, slap people with it?
Speaker 3:I'm also covered in piercings and tattoos Yeah. Still.
Tim / GM:You reach the bottom of these this, short stairway, and you see a bunch of old, like, burned out candles, like, everywhere in a huge circle in this room. You also see a dark red stain on the floor, like blood spatter, but it's arranged in a decorative circle.
Speaker 3:Is Emer Emery's with us. Emery's also a Kobold.
Tim / GM:Right? He must be. Yeah. Look at all
Thomas / Guy:that. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Let's name Emery.
Speaker 3:The pretty one.
Speaker 6:Ew. Conk.
Speaker 3:Conk?
Hannah / Eryn:Conk?
Speaker 6:That's a very good Cobalt name. Yes. Conk.
Tim / GM:No. Nobody's calling me Conk. That's not it. K. How about like What's
Thomas / Guy:that Conk?
Speaker 9:Oh. What's that conk? K o
Tim / GM:nk. Well, like a Excalibur or like or like Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3:How about shithead? How about nat?
Tim / GM:How about edgelord? Or like, like, zavience?
Hannah / Eryn:I like nat. Can nat?
Tim / GM:What about Conk. What about, like, Xavience with 2 x's?
Speaker 3:How can we just call you back?
Speaker 7:Conk. Conk.
Speaker 6:Conk. It's Conk. Conk. Conk. Conk.
Speaker 2:I'm Conk.
Speaker 3:K o n k.
Speaker 6:Yep. Fine.
Tim / GM:Yes. I'm Conk. What do you see down there, Lee?
Speaker 3:Like, you know, probably bad thing.
Thomas / Guy:Mind if I take a look?
Speaker 3:Summoning circle, blood, candles.
Thomas / Guy:Bert's gonna put out his new kaleidoscope and Oh. Try it out.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Let me read off the filters real quick.
Thomas / Guy:I don't remember what any of them are.
Hannah / Eryn:This is what Veronica Venus left you in her will.
Tim / GM:Yes. Alright. You can look at ethereal stuff, look through walls, see in the dark, see invisible, or see auras.
Speaker 6:Auras sounds good.
Tim / GM:K. You have a I think it's a transmutation aura on a broom in this room.
Hannah / Eryn:Broom Hilda. Sorry.
Thomas / Guy:Snatch, that that broom seems like your territory. Why don't you take a look?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, that's me. Yes. I am Snatch. I am Snatch. God.
Speaker 6:Bert, Bert leans over to
Thomas / Guy:Tibia and says, do you think this is what Ivy was like after she turned into a chameleon?
Speaker 12:I I think it is possible that she leaned into it. Yes. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Bert, you're also seeing a couple of, it's kind of like low level, like, hedge witch sort of stuff, like books on the wall or, like, in bookshelves and, like, parchments that have been left out.
Thomas / Guy:Books? I mean, who cares about books?
Tim / GM:Oh, it hurts.
Hannah / Eryn:I can't read.
Thomas / Guy:It hurts, snack.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Snack. This room is loaded with wiping paper. Like, every shelf just has wiping paper.
Speaker 6:I'm ripping the books apart and making sure there's nothing hidden in anything, you know. Of course. Yeah. See, Bert, just like this, and I grab a book and then I just, like, start ripping pages. Yeah.
Speaker 6:And then
Tim / GM:Bert, he grabs a book that the cover just says untold secrets, and then Snack just, like, rips it in half.
Thomas / Guy:Munch's eyes start twitching.
Speaker 6:No coins in here.
Speaker 3:This this doesn't look familiar to you. Right, Emery?
Tim / GM:No. I Conk? I actually don't like the vibe here, and I submit that we should keep going. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Just a quick stop.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly investigates the broom more closely. Arcana check, I guess?
Tim / GM:For sure. Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:Nat 20. Seriously? Yeah.
Speaker 6:Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 3:Holly She knows everything about that.
Tim / GM:The instant before your hand touches this, you know this is a flying magic broom.
Speaker 3:Are you fucking kidding me? This is You just broke Hannah. The only thing Holly wanted.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm a true witch. Wow. A magic broom. I got a cat. I got a broom.
Speaker 6:What's it say on the broom handle?
Hannah / Eryn:Broomhilda. No. I'm just kidding.
Tim / GM:No. It says Broomhilda.
Speaker 9:The broom's name is Hilda. It says broom dash
Speaker 6:Hilda. I
Tim / GM:was not about to take the Nimbus Firebolt base.
Hannah / Eryn:Does it seem safe to pick up and
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Tim / GM:Take? Yep. It is it is yours. In fact, it when you hold your hand out to it, it, like, leans against gravity to fall into your hand, Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly just glows purple for a second in this dark room Mhmm. And holds the broom up, and she's like, wow, you guys. Wow.
Thomas / Guy:Good sweep and broom? Or
Hannah / Eryn:I guess we'll find out. And Holly, hops on the broom. She rides sidesaddle because she well, nope. Not as Cobalt because she doesn't got a dress on. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Just a loincloth. Okay. So she hops on that broom.
Speaker 9:Black lace loincloth.
Speaker 6:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was such
Hannah / Eryn:a cool boat. And she rides out of the cellar.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You burst out of those doors, out into the bright daylight and do a pass around the entire village going down by the creek and up towards the buildings. And, right when you come back by the cellar, you hear the shriek of that dragon again.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, no. We gotta get going.
Thomas / Guy:And maybe we should lay low a little bit with the flying broom.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Holly, like, attaches it. Yeah. She'll try to just attach it to her body somehow until it hides it in the illusion. Okay.
Speaker 3:Is that everything that was down here?
Tim / GM:That's it. Yeah. It's really the only important thing.
Hannah / Eryn:I see the dragon.
Speaker 6:Oh, yeah. I heard it. We should probably get underground.
Speaker 7:We should go. We should find our way to the vault.
Speaker 11:Snack. Lead the way. I mean,
Hannah / Eryn:snack. Yes. Lead snatch. Oh, god.
Speaker 6:Snack pauses for a second then continues. Yes.
Tim / GM:You all follow the mountains north a little while, clinging to the, abrupt steep cliffs on your left for as much cover as you possibly can, really hugging the rock walls as you go. And you get to a point where you see a few destroyed wagon carts. They are burned to a crisp, including the canvases. You see among them a few charred corpses, and you hear,
Speaker 6:Hey. Hey.
Thomas / Guy:Was that one of you, I think?
Speaker 12:Hello? Who?
Speaker 6:You need to get down. Where?
Tim / GM:You need to get down. Come, please, with us. Please don't let it see you. It's bad. Low.
Speaker 3:I dropped to the floor.
Tim / GM:You see some bushes, like, shifting around?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly dies into the bushes with where they're shaking.
Tim / GM:Okay. You come face to face with a creature that Holly you may have never seen before, but it's a it's got kind of a a broad nose and big eyes. It looks tall, but it's very hunched down low, and it's hairy all over. And he says, you must come with us, Laura, if you want to be safe.
Speaker 11:Who are you?
Tim / GM:I am no friend to Kobalts, but we treat you all the same. We are refugees.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly pulled a dagger out of her pocket.
Tim / GM:It kind of, like, backs off and, stands up in the bush, and you can all see this firbolg, like, stand at fur at full height. And it looks around and says, but how many of you are there? Winton has no place to go. There's no place for you.
Thomas / Guy:We are numberless.
Tim / GM:He sees you all stand up and he says, so many kobolds in in the daylight?
Speaker 3:Yes. It is uncomfy. Yes.
Speaker 6:It hurt his eyes.
Speaker 11:Oh, yes.
Thomas / Guy:We're mixing it up a bit.
Tim / GM:These are suicidal fools.
Speaker 6:Follow me. Follow me. Okay. Yes.
Speaker 3:I follow.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I follow.
Thomas / Guy:I follow.
Hannah / Eryn:I put my dagger back in my pocket.
Speaker 7:I'll be sure this is a good I
Hannah / Eryn:mean, I
Speaker 7:I'll be sure this is a good
Hannah / Eryn:dad. Like, with the hair
Tim / GM:Thanks so much for listening. I'm Tim, your DM and your genie.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Hannah playing Holly Hyacinth.
Thomas / Guy:I'm Thomas. I play Engelbert f f Wisherspoon.
Speaker 9:I'm Tara, and I play Tibio Femur.
Speaker 6:I'm John. I play Snack the Cobalt.
Speaker 3:And I'm Maggie playing Uli.
Thomas / Guy:Dear listeners, thank you for sharing this story with us. If you're wishing there was a way to support us, that's right, you can. Check us out on Twitter and Instagram at peebop_podcast, and leave us a rating and review wherever you're listening. You can even help us out with a small donation at buy me a coffee dot com slash pbop. Sincerely,
