Cursebreaker | 50 - Never Buy a Timeshare in Your Own Body
Last time on Cursebreaker. We had to say farewell to Tildry and continue our strange journey back toward lamplight. Let me tell you something, traveling is a whole lot easier and more exciting when you're cooking with portals. Holly ripped us a quick one and we got there in a jiff, or is it gif? We spent some time going over the estate of Veronica Venus before meeting up with Dave and Emery in the underdock.
Tim / GM:Now, below the docks of lamplight, in a wet, stony grotto, we confront Buster, the beetle cursed Minotaur. The 5 of you had just entered this grotto where Buster is being held behind a sort of force field that Ryn Halo is projecting. You had all just, tagged out with Dave, who had been there practically all night trying to reason with Buster. Todd Pohl just brought back sandwiches for everybody.
Hannah / Eryn:Woo hoo, Todd.
Tim / GM:But you had all just stepped into the other side of that force field, and it was closed behind you after Dave had, poured all of his emotion into that tankard and left it with Uli. The shield spell goes back up. The cave is sealed off, and the 5 of you can hear something moving deeper in the grotto. This area is, like, huge and cavernous. It's it's probably the largest area of this cave you've seen so far.
Tim / GM:The entrance was actually quite tight in comparison. There's stone columns everywhere that kind of block your vision. They make the ground kind of treacherous with all these little stalagmites coming up from the ground. You can also see that there's water everywhere in here and a little flooding into little pools. Some of them are actually a few feet deep, you realize.
Tim / GM:So it's pretty unsteady and untrustworthy ground. You can also hear slapping water every now and then as the shore kind of rolls against this place. You see something gold glint deep in the cavern.
Hannah / Eryn:Is it beetle gold? Probably.
Thomas / Guy:Is that is that Buster up there?
Hannah / Eryn:I
Speaker 4:have a feeling yes.
Thomas / Guy:Who wants to go first?
Speaker 4:That would be me, I think.
Speaker 5:I I do not know Bester very well.
Speaker 4:Ollie pushes up her sleeves, cracks her neck, and casts blade ward on herself.
Tara / Journey:Because she's strong and confident. It doesn't need help.
Tim / GM:Uli begins to make her way between these stone pillars moving to closer towards that gold flash. When you get about halfway there, Uli, I need you to make a perception check.
Tara / Journey:17.
Tim / GM:Okay. You noticed a couple things on your way up there. There's a lot of, like, ocean debris in here. There's, like, starfish and, like, clumps of seaweed. There's also, it's like there's like a 100 spears that have been bundled together and anchored.
Tim / GM:But it looks like somebody's, like, smuggling weapons through here, and, like, this was the drop location. And so they literally anchored them to stay here until somebody collects them. You're also seeing a lot of very large crabs. They're, like, 2 feet tall. Just like long spidery legs.
Speaker 4:Are any of the spheres loose?
Tim / GM:Yeah. You could, like, pull them out of the bundle if you needed to.
Speaker 4:I want 1. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You all hear, like, the clacking of a stick as Uly draws out a spear. It seems like they've been here a while. They're not in perfect shape, but they're serviceable.
Speaker 4:Are they, like
Tim / GM:A little slimy.
Speaker 4:A little slimy.
Tara / Journey:Yeah. Okay.
Tim / GM:When you get a little bit closer to Buster, I need you to make a, let's call it a wisdom save.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Tim / GM:This is against fear if you have anything that affects that.
Speaker 4:I could rage and be immune to fear.
Tara / Journey:Or Tibio mode.
Speaker 4:Oh, how long do the patches last?
Tim / GM:Just whichever one you choose to have on. But it's a bonus action to change the patches. But they last indefinitely, and you can you have one active at a time
Speaker 4:Awesome. Because
Tim / GM:you choose who to look like.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I'm gonna okay. So how I imagine it is that they're all, like, stuck on, but I have a a Velcro patch at the front pocket, and I just, like,
Hannah / Eryn:put one in place.
Speaker 4:It's they're interchangeable, so I'm gonna pull off the Tibio 1.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You slap that in the middle of your overalls, and, you can all see Uli change just a little bit. Her overalls go black, and, her hair goes black. But you all hear the loudest thundering clapping noise that echoes throughout this place, and it is painful on your ears. All of you are deafened for the next minute.
Tim / GM:Oh. Uli, you can just barely see this flickering as you can see Buster at the end of this cavern. He is massive, and he is made of solid gold. And he is flapping his beetle shell open and closed, and it's creating this, like, thunderous boom. And you can see, like, it's destroying the ground around him.
Thomas / Guy:I thought they would have mentioned the noise.
Speaker 4:What?
Thomas / Guy:The noise?
Hannah / Eryn:It's very loud.
Thomas / Guy:Somebody make it stop.
Speaker 4:Are we deafened because he's making a loud noise? Yeah. Or is it ear ringing deaf?
Tim / GM:Ear ringing at this point.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Cabio.
Speaker 5:Yes, Bert?
Tim / GM:Do you
Thomas / Guy:still have that ball I dropped?
Tim / GM:You guys cannot intimate spoken language to each other.
Thomas / Guy:I'm making the ball shape with my hands.
Tara / Journey:I hold up the mirror ball.
Thomas / Guy:No. Different ball.
Speaker 5:Are you what? Do you want this?
Thomas / Guy:I I dropped it in big tower.
Speaker 5:Looking for something very dull.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't I don't know.
Thomas / Guy:Balls. Shush.
Tara / Journey:I look in my pack, and I find the bismite, and I hold that up.
Thomas / Guy:No. No. Nope.
Tara / Journey:And then I dig in my pack again, and I hold up the nesting doll. Nope. And then I dig in my pack again, and I hold up the sphere of sphere of silence?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. That one.
Tim / GM:Tibio, you hear in your head. Yeah. That one as Bert uses the telepathy tea to speak into your mind. Oh. You're all still connected from drinking tea together in the last Oh.
Thomas / Guy:It was so loud in my brain that I forgot.
Speaker 5:Oh, I the oh, I, okay. Yes. I don't know how to use it. Do I just throw it?
Thomas / Guy:You throw it, and it's gotta break, and you just gotta throw it better than I do.
Hannah / Eryn:You can do that. No problem.
Tara / Journey:I am going to throw this fear of silence at the b borg.
Thomas / Guy:I'll, give you guidance to the d four.
Tara / Journey:Cool. Am I rolling d 20 adding
Tim / GM:Yeah. Via ranged attack using your, dexterity.
Tara / Journey:Okay. Does anything else get added? I have jack of all trades.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, you should get that then.
Tim / GM:And that adds half your skill Half my proficiency. Half your proficiency. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:I add
Tim / GM:that in. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:Okay. You
Thomas / Guy:yeah. You get that number.
Tara / Journey:To things that I don't have proficiency to already. 16, 17, 18, 19.
Tim / GM:Okay. So, Willie, I think you see this little glint, like, fly over your shoulder past you
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:And kind of race down the end of this hallway, and you see it shatter right in front of Buster. He turns black and white suddenly, and then you see this dull wave kind of roll out from Buster, and it establishes this giant circle around him where everything has gone black and white. Mhmm. It it kind of lights everything up by a little bit to where you can just see the shape of everything really clearly, even better with your dark vision. But Buster's curse form is melting away rapidly.
Tim / GM:You can see his, like he has this, like, giant horn in the center of his face. It's like a Hercules beetle instead of a regular Minotaur. His regular horns have actually moved down his face to become large golden mandibles. But as this silence takes effect, the spirit is losing its grip on Buster. Mhmm.
Tim / GM:And you can see him start to revert his form as he is separating from the spirit.
Speaker 5:Well, is that supposed to happen?
Thomas / Guy:This looks good. I think it's good. Is it good?
Speaker 5:How do how do we keep it? How do we stop it from reasserting control?
Thomas / Guy:Also, folks, I don't know how long the silence fear is gonna last. So, Bert's gonna reach in his pack and take out some good moss and stuff it in his ears. I suggest you all do the same.
Hannah / Eryn:We all just look at Bert like, okay, Bert.
Speaker 4:I guess I'll do that.
Tara / Journey:Logistical question. The curse is pooling around Buster on the ground?
Tim / GM:Yeah. It's kind of, like, made a ghostly copy of what Buster used like, his Beatle form that is, like, standing beside him right now. And you can see that it's, like, suffering and struggling, and it's, like, trying to get back at Buster. Okay.
Speaker 4:Does Buster seem okay?
Tim / GM:It's the first time in a while that he's been in his, like, regular form. It seems like this, like, demerger has taken a lot out of him. He looks completely lost. He's, like, on his knees, like, staring around a dark chasm. He probably doesn't remember much from what's happened.
Hannah / Eryn:Can we attack the curse?
Speaker 5:Let's let's attack the curse. I think that is a good option.
Thomas / Guy:It seems like a good time.
Speaker 4:I would like to, whisper it at or a message at Buster
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 4:And tell him to, like, move away. I don't know if he'd be able to hear that in his head.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He would hear it. Oh, no. He can't. He's in the he's in the silence zone.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. I mean, so, like, magic cannot occur inside that circle.
Speaker 4:So it's not a sphere of islands.
Tara / Journey:It's silencing spells. Right?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yes.
Speaker 4:It's a sphere of
Speaker 7:But also
Tim / GM:Non magic.
Speaker 4:Anti magic.
Tara / Journey:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Okay. Then I'm gonna do charades. Like, get out of there. We're going to kill it. Leave.
Tara / Journey:She points at the curse and draws a line across her neck and then points at Buster and tells him to get out of dodge.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Okay. Towards.
Hannah / Eryn:Hit the row. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:So that means we can't cast into it?
Tim / GM:Correct. Yeah. The magic will just sort of dissipate as soon as it hits
Thomas / Guy:him. Oh.
Speaker 4:But But I kind of exercised them, so that's good.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Give me a, persuasion with disadvantage. Okay.
Speaker 4:I might use my bardspiration. 12? It's not good regardless.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Buster stands up and looks at you and then looks at the curse thing, and, think he just picks up a rock and throws it right through the curse.
Speaker 4:God, you fucking idiot.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Good try, buddy.
Tara / Journey:Can you refresh my memory on how the nesting doll works?
Tim / GM:Yeah. So it's essentially a Pokeball. So you're gonna throw it at a target to imprison them, essentially. And then they get they get a save based on how tough they are or, like, how beaten down they are.
Speaker 5:Everyone, if we can manage to, do some damage, maybe I can, capture it. I know magic will not work in the sphere, but maybe this nesting door that Marco gave me will.
Hannah / Eryn:How can we attack it? How can we do anything without magic?
Tara / Journey:Yeah. We're not the crowd for that.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly's like biting her nails like, oh my god. No. Magic.
Speaker 7:I know what to do, Tibio. Can I have the nesting doll?
Tara / Journey:Okay. And I do the
Thomas / Guy:Yes.
Speaker 7:Snack's gonna run over to the sphere. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. When you step into that circle, Uli, you can see Snack going black and white.
Tara / Journey:I'm just picturing the, river town in Kingdom Hearts. Oh, that's a really in a timeless river.
Thomas / Guy:When you said black and white, that's me, like, at least Steamboat Willie.
Tim / GM:Yes. So, Snack, as you cross that threshold into this circle of silence, you feel a little clanging at your hip as, Genie does his best to, like, rattle the lamp free as you cross over so that he stays on the outside of the circle. Mhmm. And then as you step in, you feel yourself change a little bit. You feel suddenly kind of, like, shaky and hungry and weak, and you realize that you've lost your connection to the gold dragon.
Speaker 7:Just now?
Tim / GM:Yeah. As you stepped over the threshold.
Speaker 7:Time for that later. Okay. Buster.
Thomas / Guy:You can't you can't yell his name inside
Tim / GM:the sphere of silence.
Speaker 7:True. Snack tries. Yeah. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You try to shout inside the sphere of silence, and of course, nothing comes out.
Speaker 7:How does this work? Snack thinks to himself, opens the nesting doll and attempts to make Buster go in it.
Tim / GM:Okay. You get close to him, and, he kind of, like, sits up on his knees a little bit. And for the time being, it seems he's trusting you because you're moving slowly. And when you get to him, you just press the nesting doll up against him, and he's just kind of looking at where you're pressing, and he's looking over at you.
Speaker 7:It's magic. Snack grabs him and tries to pull him out.
Tim / GM:Especially in your weakened state, Buster just chooses not to move.
Speaker 7:I let a a bit of a fire breath to try to scare him.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. You do see a little bit of fire developing that that's just an anatomical trick that you can do. But he kind of, like, shies away from that and then just gives you, like, the littlest push to get away from him.
Speaker 4:I want to go to where the curse is
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 4:And try and choke him out.
Tim / GM:Okay. So you step into that circle as well. Uli
Speaker 4:No longer looks like Tibia, I assume.
Tim / GM:True. And it's also probably just, like, on top of the actual silence that's in here, there's a there's a different kind of quiet that's going on inside you.
Speaker 4:Like a peaceful quiet? Please. Do I feel nice?
Tim / GM:Peaceful but powerless. You have the feeling of surrender.
Speaker 4:So I don't feel like I could manipulate the curse?
Tim / GM:No. Not inside the sphere.
Speaker 4:How close is the curse to the edge of the sphere?
Tim / GM:Tibio had a pretty good throw, so they're both pretty much dead center.
Speaker 4:Can I try, like, scooping it to the side of the spear with the spear that I picked up?
Tim / GM:I think the spear kinda passes right through it. You do notice, however, that in this space, the curse is, like, trying to move, but it's just sort of flickering around. It looks like it's, like, trapped in position.
Speaker 4:Okay. Then I'm gonna go up to Buster and kind of pull on him and jester out.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Buster stands a little bit. I need a Snack and Uli to make perception checks.
Speaker 4:6.
Speaker 7:7.
Tara / Journey:Terrible.
Tim / GM:Okay. They're drapes. Yeah.
Speaker 7:I try to help Uli, like, move Buster out.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Buster's big and tough, but he's also pretty critically wounded. You can tell that he's got a sort of, like, gash over his left eye, that he's keeping his eye closed. You did notice that the beetle beforehand had a similar giant scar across his eye.
Tim / GM:He's more or less going along with you. He's walking with you as you push him. He seems to understand that you're not there to hurt him, although he doesn't seem to register who either of you are. However, when you exit the sphere, you realize there is a lot less distance to go this time than when you came into the sphere. As you cross over it, you notice the sphere is shrinking rapidly, and you can look behind you to see the curse is almost free at this point.
Tara / Journey:I'm gonna prep dissonant whisper for when the curse is free.
Tim / GM:Okay. So, silence is no longer a thing in this room. You can all hear each other. The deafening effect has also worn off.
Speaker 4:Is Snack still pressing the doll to him?
Speaker 7:I do yeah. I did wanna try to do that.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. So I think that's where we will start initially.
Speaker 7:Oh, Inishi. Inishi.
Hannah / Eryn:Natural 20. Holly got 7.
Thomas / Guy:Birds to 5.
Speaker 4:Tibia got 15.
Tim / GM:16. So, Tib, I guess, we'll have you go first.
Hannah / Eryn:So am I still gonna get
Tara / Journey:my normal turn after that then, or
Speaker 4:is this In the
Tim / GM:in the initiative. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:Okay. Cool.
Tim / GM:But this is before.
Tara / Journey:So is the curse emerged from the seer now?
Tim / GM:Yeah. We'll see. It's just kinda breaking through.
Tara / Journey:Okay. As it emerges, I pull my lute off my back, and I do a little discordant strum because I don't know very many chords. And I keep trying, but I can't quite get the fingering right.
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm.
Tara / Journey:And I like a and, cast dissonant whispers.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Tara / Journey:And that is a wisdom saving throw.
Tim / GM:K. That is a 4 in total.
Tara / Journey:Oh, yeah. That's a big old fail. And that is 3 d 6 psychic damage, and it must immediately use its reaction, if available, to move as far as its speed allows away from me. Okay. It doesn't move into obviously dangerous ground.
Tara / Journey:Mhmm. So 3 d 6. 15.
Thomas / Guy:Wow. Nice.
Tara / Journey:All fives. Yahtzee.
Speaker 7:I gotta cross
Tara / Journey:off my dang spell. Okay.
Tim / GM:You can tell that music affects different spirits differently. Genie remains unaffected by music in any case. He's even hummed and sang on his own. He plays monastic music in his lamp sometimes. Just so
Tara / Journey:much clarifications.
Tim / GM:Yeah. But it it doesn't freeze the spirit in place like it would have done to Moja, and you've seen a couple of times before. It is, however, super effective. You can see the curse just kind of rattle and hold its head, whatever kind of head it had, and it loses Buster's shape a little bit. So before, it was, like, the exact beetleborg shape.
Tim / GM:But now you can see that this spirit was originally just a beetle. A large one, but a beetle. Gross. It looks, it kind of, like, falls onto its big six legs. It stands about 4 feet tall, and it's just kind of crawling around.
Tim / GM:But it looks rather aimless and non malicious.
Speaker 5:The fuck?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, good start to combat.
Hannah / Eryn:Is it like a a spiritual form or corporeal?
Tim / GM:It's a spirit. Okay.
Tara / Journey:What a good word.
Tim / GM:Alright. So, snack. As you leave this, like, silent sphere area with Buster, you press that nesting doll up to him. What was the animal on this one?
Tara / Journey:I already forgot. Did you say squirrel?
Thomas / Guy:I heard squirrel earlier.
Speaker 5:This is
Hannah / Eryn:a squirrel,
Speaker 4:I thought.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, squirrel is mine.
Tara / Journey:I just wrote gotta catch them all by it.
Speaker 5:This is
Thomas / Guy:From from the state
Speaker 7:sale or whatever. Yeah. From okay.
Speaker 5:I don't know if we even specified.
Tara / Journey:What? What animal are we?
Speaker 4:You may have just said it was another nesting doll. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Well I
Tim / GM:was thinking I said fox, but
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I think it's
Speaker 4:cute. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:I like that.
Tim / GM:Okay. And then we actually find out if it does anything. You see Buster kind of, like, shudder, and he, like, starts to shrink down, and he, like, gets pulled towards the thing. And then he just, like, backhands you away from him, and the, nesting doll just kind of goes spinning onto the floor. And he just says Damn.
Speaker 7:What are you doing? Dave is better.
Tim / GM:He looks at me and says Dave. Where's Dave?
Speaker 7:He's eating a sandwich. Are you hungry?
Tim / GM:He, kinda like looks around and squints at you snack, and you maybe there's some kind of recognition there. And then he looks ahead towards where the shield is shimmering, preventing you from going back into the other room, and he says, yeah.
Speaker 7:Me too.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, let's get you boys a sandwich. Holly, like, comes up and she's
Tim / GM:He kind of, like, startles, and he says, you. Who are you? Who are all of you?
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Holly Hyacinth.
Tim / GM:He looks at you, Holly, and says, I I know you.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I know you, big boy.
Tim / GM:You you did something. You destroyed Joe's store. I remember the boiler.
Hannah / Eryn:You know, really, it was just an accident, and we can get you a new one.
Speaker 7:I can top that. I stabbed Joe.
Speaker 4:He almost died. Oh, okay.
Tim / GM:You see Buster kinda, like, stand up and, like, look side to side, and he says, Joe. Where where's Joe?
Speaker 4:He's somewhere.
Thomas / Guy:He's got a new dragon friend that he's been hanging out with.
Tim / GM:He gets kinda frantic, and he starts, like, pushing snack aside, and he walks up to that shield. And he's just like, where's Joe? I have to get back. Where's Joe?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh my
Tara / Journey:god. Oh, he's still on the juice. Still? I bet. Or something.
Tara / Journey:The fuck?
Thomas / Guy:That would have ran out by now, I think.
Speaker 4:Maybe it's like just
Thomas / Guy:It's only like a 24 hour jobby.
Speaker 5:Really in love.
Speaker 7:Yeah. We misread the relationship.
Tim / GM:Uli, it's your turn in initiative. There is a white glowing beetle that is just ambling around in the grotto.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna I'm gonna try and cast banishment on it.
Tim / GM:K.
Speaker 4:It has to make a Christmas save.
Tim / GM:K. 10.
Speaker 5:It fails.
Speaker 4:And then I will
Thomas / Guy:Where beetle go?
Speaker 4:Hang on to the banishment for a minute. If the creature is from the plane you're on, it comes back after a minute. If it's from a different plane, it goes to where it's supposed to go.
Hannah / Eryn:So that's
Speaker 4:the plane it's from.
Tim / GM:And combat is over. You gain 0 experience. You find 0 items.
Thomas / Guy:Way to go, Wig Wig Wig.
Hannah / Eryn:Not well, we found a spear.
Tara / Journey:I did. It's a pretty spear.
Tim / GM:This is when you're, like, fighting a boss and you destroy the bridge and not the boss. Yeah. And it doesn't give you anything for it.
Hannah / Eryn:Good thing you took care of that fast, Uli, because I think the tide's starting to come in. Oh, shit. Holly's skirts are very wet.
Tim / GM:Very astute. Yes. The
Tara / Journey:race that what they were supposed to notice?
Tim / GM:The race against the clock here is that the tide is rapidly coming in.
Hannah / Eryn:My god.
Tim / GM:So you see Rin kind of gesture from the other side of the portal to, like, get your attention. He holds his arms up in waves, and then he, like, points down at this water that is starting to, like, slosh over the edge.
Speaker 7:Snack shoots some eldritch, bolts at the waves coming
Tim / GM:in. Okay. You hit a crab.
Thomas / Guy:Not another aquatic adventure.
Hannah / Eryn:Let's get out of here.
Speaker 4:Yeah. What about this guy?
Speaker 5:You got
Hannah / Eryn:some rope?
Speaker 5:I think, historically, in Lemblights, we have tied people up with web.
Speaker 7:Yes. That's Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:That's fine.
Tim / GM:Buster says, what do you need a web for? What is this?
Speaker 4:Well, we
Speaker 5:do not want you to run away. Your brother misses you very much.
Tim / GM:He takes, like, a big wet hoof stump in the water and kind of, like, backs away from you going deeper into the grotto.
Thomas / Guy:Can I do something? Yeah. I'm gonna burn a channel divinity to, read read his thoughts.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:He needs to make a wisdom saver throw.
Tim / GM:6. Sorry. 8. Nope. K.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. Now I get some surface thoughts, and also I can use suggestion on him for freezies.
Tim / GM:Oh, okay. Okay. Surface thoughts. Buster is very, very lost. He is pining for Joe.
Tim / GM:He just wants to find him so that he can know he's doing the right thing. He is thinking about his daily life when Joe was here. He would get up. He would know what to do. He would do his work, and he would go home.
Tim / GM:And life was more stable than it had ever been for him. After a life of crime, Joe presented him with a way of existing that was under the radar that he could maintain.
Speaker 4:It was still crime.
Tim / GM:But Yeah.
Speaker 4:It's just more controlled. Stable crime. Yeah.
Speaker 5:Alright. Crime family.
Tim / GM:But he Buster is scared, does not recognize or trust any of you.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. For my suggestion spell, I will put my hand on his knee and say, calm down and come with us, please.
Tim / GM:Okay. Buster sort of nods his head at you, Bert, and he says, you can take me to where Joe is?
Thomas / Guy:Something like that.
Tara / Journey:I guess, technically, we could.
Tim / GM:Okay. Hang yeah. I'll go with you.
Hannah / Eryn:Can we tell if the curse is, like, freed him now, the curse of the beetle?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Curse of the beetle is, like, gone completely.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Just wanna make sure.
Tim / GM:You can see that Buster is holding on to this scarab that, like, cursed him in the first place, the little item.
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:So he's just, like, holding on to that in his offhand.
Tara / Journey:And it's mundane now?
Tim / GM:It is not mundane. It is still a cursed object. It is still a gate.
Speaker 5:Oh, is
Hannah / Eryn:it like the sword where he can't be separated from it probably?
Tim / GM:Nope. But he's he's been separated.
Tara / Journey:But that item is still cursed.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Bert, do you think you could ask him to, give us the scahab?
Thomas / Guy:I only get one of those. Think we should keep I think we should get moving, and then we can we can grab that. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Let's get out of this water.
Tim / GM:The trip back is a little bit different. That rigging is now just barely over the surface of the water as you guys climb back. When you exit the underdock into the bright daylight above, Dave is sitting in an alleyway peeling potatoes again, and, he kind of stands and, like, immediately dumps the potatoes on the ground when he sees Buster. And he just says, you did it.
Thomas / Guy:It was deceptively simple.
Speaker 4:He might need some healing. That's not our fault, though.
Tim / GM:In the daylight, you can see that Buster is in very rough shape. That eye injury is pretty severe.
Thomas / Guy:I'll give him a second level healing whatever I got. Okay.
Speaker 4:I can switch my patch over
Tim / GM:Thunder Wave.
Speaker 4:Thunder just scream healing at him.
Thomas / Guy:Seven hit points.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Buster breathes a little sigh, and you can see it's just a couple of his cuts and bruises heal over a little bit. But it does not give him his eye back.
Speaker 4:I will switch my patch. Mhmm. And I'll thunder wave him. This better
Thomas / Guy:actually work. Also does the usual thunder wave.
Tim / GM:Just the healing.
Thomas / Guy:Just the healing. Oh, it's not a
Tim / GM:Like, healing explosion.
Thomas / Guy:I see.
Speaker 5:Thunder all through the night.
Speaker 4:I will cast it at a second level.
Hannah / Eryn:I wanna try to slide a hand the scarab away from.
Speaker 4:Oh. 18 hit points.
Tim / GM:Nice. Okay. Yeah. Everybody gets healed for 18 hit points.
Speaker 4:Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Because it's an AOE.
Hannah / Eryn:And then you're welcome.
Tim / GM:Holly make a, sleight of hand with advantage?
Speaker 4:Also, I have a mustache now.
Thomas / Guy:Wow.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, Holly's not good at stealing. We learned today. I know what? I'll use my last luck point. Why the hell not?
Tara / Journey:And you have inspiration. Goddamn it.
Tim / GM:Don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, it's got 10.
Speaker 4:Tim's like, I don't give
Hannah / Eryn:a fuck.
Tim / GM:Just Yeah. Buster actually got an 8.
Hannah / Eryn:How? Did
Tim / GM:you notice? Oh my god.
Hannah / Eryn:Luck point was worth it.
Tim / GM:During this extremely loud healing wave, you just kind of dip down Holly and grab the scarab out of his hand. He's almost a little startled, and so it's like, you know, he practically dropped it into your hands when you went to grab it. A few moments later, Tandy, Emery, and Todd come running down the, alleyway, and they're just like, what happened? We heard a noise.
Speaker 7:We are sheriffs here doing our business. Oh. Leave us oh, Tandy. Hi, master sheriff.
Tim / GM:Emery looks at you and says, that was quick.
Hannah / Eryn:No. The cursebreakers know how to, you know, take care of business. Speaking of, cursebreakers, Bert, can you handle the press here? Let's go over here, and now Holly will kinda get him to the back of the alley to help break the curse of the scare beetle.
Thomas / Guy:Alright, people. Nothing to see here. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Hannah / Eryn:It's
Tara / Journey:in cop mode.
Tim / GM:You're just talking to, like, Tamari and Tamari.
Speaker 5:Tamari? Woah.
Tim / GM:Tandy and Emery.
Speaker 4:I like that name. Oh.
Speaker 5:Oh, Ollie, do you think that we should let Snack give it a go?
Hannah / Eryn:I was just gonna say that. Snack, this is like your curse breaking with training wheels right now. Okay?
Speaker 7:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Do you
Speaker 4:guys have a handle on this?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Sure.
Speaker 4:Okay. I'm gonna go talk to Dave. Okay. Good luck.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, oh, it's Snack's first curse break.
Speaker 7:Alright. I've seen how to do this. Holly sets do this?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly sets the beetle thing. Is it like a brooch almost? Yeah. It does. Little piece of jewelry is what it kinda looks like, I imagine.
Hannah / Eryn:She sets it down on the, alleyway floor. Is this like a
Tim / GM:Boardwalk still.
Hannah / Eryn:A boardwalk? Okay. Yeah. And just kind of in a clear space so it's not around anybody or any buildings or anything. Alright.
Hannah / Eryn:The first thing you're gonna do is step 1. Are you writing this down, Zack?
Speaker 7:Why are you checking your notes? I thought you knew how to do this. Zack. I'm nervous now because I you were supposed to teach me. And what what happens if I explode?
Speaker 7:What, I aim at this thing. Okay. Yes. I'm just gonna shoot an I'll just pull just to make sure. Nope.
Speaker 7:Nope. It's just just a check, range.
Hannah / Eryn:It won't work.
Speaker 7:Oh, okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Listen. Cursed items can only be destroyed by curse breaking. But if it's a curse Or
Speaker 7:if Genie eats it. Person.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Oh, we could feed it to Genie, but he doesn't like eating them anymore, I think. I don't know.
Speaker 7:I think he does. But
Hannah / Eryn:okay. Well, anyway, step 1, bait the curse.
Speaker 7:Snack, touches his forearm and
Hannah / Eryn:Cast the mana flare.
Speaker 5:Snack, you touched the first circle, and that is the mana flare.
Speaker 7:Yes. Of course. Mana flare.
Tim / GM:Snack begins to glow white, something you thought you may never see. It, it is pulling something from that beetle. It seems Snack's energy is coaxing more curses to come through that gate.
Thomas / Guy:Holly, Holly, get the hysteroscope. I want this recorded.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Holly pulls it out.
Tim / GM:Holly, you pull it out. And when you would record, it just kind of, like, pulses a dull red.
Hannah / Eryn:Hey. This thing's not working.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, no. My memories.
Tim / GM:You see faint text within the crystal that says memory full.
Hannah / Eryn:The hail. Alright. Well, I'll have to figure that out later.
Thomas / Guy:Just have to, go to the and
Tara / Journey:As our parents are trying to mess with the camera.
Tim / GM:I don't
Speaker 7:know what to do next.
Speaker 5:Oh, snake, you dubbed the second
Speaker 7:circle and it's from me or second because it's to you?
Speaker 5:2nd next to the first one. Okay.
Speaker 7:You are catch which one I touched.
Tim / GM:You are burning alive. You can feel you've lost a third of your health since this has started.
Speaker 5:That's the second circle, the middle one.
Speaker 7:I touched it.
Speaker 5:That is the disenchant.
Tim / GM:Disenchant. Where do you place the disenchant? Aim
Speaker 5:it at the objects, Nick.
Speaker 7:I oh, okay. I put pointed at the the the that was the scarab thing. K.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You all see the boards around the scarab go black and white just like in the grotto a second ago. And finally
Speaker 5:And now You get it. Everything. You are you.
Speaker 7:Yes, Ken. Well, here we go.
Tim / GM:Alright. Roll an attack. Perfect. And it's a stationary object.
Tara / Journey:I couldn't have gotten better.
Tim / GM:Natural 20.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh my god. Yes. Okay. She definitely clamps. Directly.
Hannah / Eryn:I think
Thomas / Guy:it might be fairly clamped.
Hannah / Eryn:I see that.
Speaker 4:She got on other people's microphones. That
Speaker 7:was pretty epic though.
Hannah / Eryn:Nice. I am
Speaker 7:the best curse breaker.
Hannah / Eryn:Good job, Snack. Holly's, like, shaking him as he's, like, trying to aim the beam at the curse.
Tim / GM:Alright. So Snack is, like, stumbling through this process. He's, like, almost disenchanted himself, is rapidly dying, burning alive from the mana flare. And right when you see him go for the final burst on this to give it all he's got to swing out and destroy the object, he points his fingers down at this thing. And the last thing you hear is Genie going, snack?
Tim / GM:Wait a second. And then this whole area just goes dark. And you see Snack glowing the only bright thing in this area, and he releases this beam that's about as wide as he is that annihilates the floorboards, goes through the underdock, and splashes into the water, and is boiling the ocean.
Tara / Journey:Oh my god.
Tim / GM:And you just see the steam, like, rise out, and you can see almost this, like, magmatic fiery hue form under the ocean and just die out for a for a sec for a snick.
Hannah / Eryn:A snick.
Speaker 4:A second.
Tim / GM:The boardwalk is on fire. The item is just gone gone completely. At a molecular level, it's gone.
Speaker 4:I nudged Tandy, and I'm like, that was not me this time.
Speaker 7:I paused for a sec, and then snack just retches.
Speaker 5:I pet him on the back.
Speaker 7:I I did it.
Hannah / Eryn:Good job, snack. Great work.
Thomas / Guy:Wow. That's some curse breaking if I've ever seen it.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, he did have the best teachers.
Speaker 4:Does he have to go through, anger management training?
Tim / GM:Maybe. But, Snack, your magic is depleted until you're short rest. And you are you are down to just one little HP.
Speaker 8:Oh, wow. Okay.
Tim / GM:Genie kind of, like, flops out of the lamp, equally as exhausted as snack, and you just seem
Speaker 7:to go, and
Tim / GM:flops his back onto the onto the boardwalk, and he just says, you need to tell me when you're going to do that again.
Speaker 7:Genie.
Tim / GM:He's like reaching up to you and he goes, water.
Speaker 7:There's lots of water coming. It's actually getting kind of deep now. Genie, I can do that every day. We can we can do that if we just find cursed items. We can do that.
Tim / GM:You can seem to start to cry a
Hannah / Eryn:little bit. Good. Snug,
Speaker 5:you did a very good job, but you look very tired.
Tara / Journey:And I pat him on the shoulder and cast healing word.
Speaker 4:Uli.
Tim / GM:Dave comes up behind you, and he says, hey. I just wanted to say thank you.
Speaker 4:Yes? For, the Buster stuff?
Tim / GM:Yeah. For the Buster stuff. Thank you.
Speaker 4:You're, you're welcome.
Tim / GM:I also go ahead.
Hannah / Eryn:No. I'm It's so good.
Speaker 4:No. You were you were saying something.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Just while while you were gone, you weren't, you weren't there. So Emery and I, No. It's not
Speaker 4:Oh, your ticket.
Tim / GM:No. We just we're talking about, like, what we wanna, like you hear a Oh, no. As the tankard cracks on your belt, and a a white mist moves up towards your face, and Dave's poured emotions settle into you.
Speaker 4:No. And the last thing he felt was
Tim / GM:So I think we
Tara / Journey:can safely call it romantic panic.
Hannah / Eryn:Cool.
Tim / GM:You saw how Dave looked when he used the tankard to clear his mind and take a break from what he had been doing, and it's not what you expect. You feel so sure and so unanxious. You feel home. When Dave poured his emotions into the tank, he was tired. He didn't know if he'd be able to save his brother after coming so close, but he had also just seen you for the first time in weeks.
Speaker 4:No.
Tim / GM:And the words didn't come to him then, and they sure as hell aren't coming to him now. But he wanted so badly to tell you that just seeing you made him feel so sure, and then he felt home.
Tara / Journey:Oh, no. Dave's such a good boy.
Tim / GM:Lully, you, of course, grow a new patch. This just depicts, Dave's smiling face with a thumbs up and one broken horn. But when you adorn this patch, you become physically a lot more imposing. You grow just by a little bit. Your muscles become even thicker with your huge biceps and arm strength.
Tim / GM:You have a nose ring, which may or may not be new, and small horns.
Tara / Journey:Cool.
Tim / GM:Dave seems kind of at a loss. He may or may not understand what had just happened, but he kinda stops all of his stuttering, and he's staring at the boardwalk. And then he looks up at you and says, I know we lead lives that take us all over the place, and we can't settle down
Speaker 5:Yes.
Tim / GM:Yet. I mean Yes. But I want you to know that I I want that for us, at least to try, in a real sense, when this is over.
Speaker 4:Do you want a kid? I might have a kid.
Tim / GM:His eyes are just huge. He says, I I mean, we don't have to run rush into anything so quickly, but someday, sure. Yeah. I'd, yeah, fuck it. Let's do it.
Tara / Journey:Cool.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly's, like, making hand gestures behind days back to Uli, and she's just, like, now kiss. And she has, like, her two hands making little duck faces and then just, like, now kiss. Now kiss.
Tara / Journey:Tibio uses his, spine
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm.
Tara / Journey:Thing
Tim / GM:Yeah. I think Dave takes one big stride towards you and reaches out, puts his hands kind of behind your back, and pulls you into his chest and just holds you against him and, kind of like pats the back of your head.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. It
Tara / Journey:had a tough day.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Well,
Tara / Journey:you all had a tough day.
Tim / GM:You can, like, you can barely hear him over, like, the rumbling of his chest, but he's just like, I can't thank you enough for helping Buster out of this situation. I I don't know what I would have done on my own. I the tide was coming in, and I feel like I had failed. Thank you.
Speaker 4:I squeeze back, and I say, yeah. I I think Buster is gonna need a little help for a while.
Tim / GM:Yeah. About that, I really wanna help you all continue this, but Buster needs me right now. I'm gonna have to stay in lamplight for at least a little while.
Speaker 4:That's understandable.
Tim / GM:Tandy says, does that mean we're free of this thing? And, Tandy's got bidet in tow, like, on a leash. Oh,
Speaker 5:her bidet. Unloved.
Tim / GM:Emery walks up and grabs Leech and says, yeah. I'll take him. Come here, guy.
Thomas / Guy:Mister Emery, does this mean you're coming with us?
Tim / GM:Certainly can. I've, got a good hold on my old curse situation now.
Thomas / Guy:That's great to hear it. Any anything you can teach us about what you've done to beat back your curse could be very valuable.
Tim / GM:Actually, I do have some insight for you. We learned some things about the people in Vindorn. They they love curses. Like, it's like a popular thing up north.
Speaker 5:I was thinking I wanted to ask why you had come back down here when last we heard you were heading that way.
Tim / GM:Well, we got to a certain point north and heard that they saw a beetle, but that it was headed back south, so we followed the trail back. But it's kinda making sense now. Listen, when I first met you guys, there is a big influx of cursed items here in Lamplight. You remember that? That's That's where I got this.
Tim / GM:And he takes out his great sword.
Speaker 5:Of course.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, the the big sword. Yep.
Tim / GM:Those were all coming out of Vindorin. They were supplying them. They make them in Vindorn. They manufacture cursed items and distribute them.
Speaker 5:Cool.
Thomas / Guy:They must have been using that that one outpost as a, another stop down here.
Hannah / Eryn:The cross post? That's the one.
Tim / GM:They they don't look at it the same way that we do, though. It's it's all magic to them. Whether it works as intended or not, they don't see curses as bad things.
Speaker 4:That might be because the king is a curse. Mhmm.
Hannah / Eryn:They're all under the influence.
Thomas / Guy:It also fits, though, what we've know about curses. Emery, you've learned to live with your curse, and we know that not all dead spirits mean us harm.
Speaker 5:True. But they should not be here in this way. It is not correct. There is a place for them.
Tim / GM:I'd have to agree with you on that. These spirits are not part of the equation. Cursed items, though, I'm changing my mind about a little bit. As long as you know what it does, a cursed item is a magic item. He, shows you, like, this Tinder box, and when he opens it, it just starts sputtering flames everywhere.
Hannah / Eryn:Woah.
Tim / GM:He says, it's a perfectly functional Tinder box. You just gotta know how to use it.
Hannah / Eryn:I think the creation of these objects is maybe, you know, a little under the table, like, not really a good thing.
Speaker 5:Extremely problematic.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. That's that's it. Extremely problematic. No offense, Jeanie.
Speaker 5:No offense, Tinderbox.
Tim / GM:Tinderbox is like, Nundig?
Hannah / Eryn:Calzfer,
Speaker 7:attended the check.
Speaker 4:Oh my god.
Speaker 7:I am persuaded by your words, Emery. Where can we get more cursed items?
Tim / GM:No. Vindorn. Well, we should go there. We gotta buy the boatload. But you're right.
Tim / GM:This is intentional, and it's a bad thing. I'm just saying the people of Vindorn have adapted. They're learning to get along with what's provided to them.
Speaker 5:I guess that doesn't entirely surprise me. People are adaptable.
Hannah / Eryn:So sounds like we need to head to Vindor next, but didn't we have to do something for your dragons
Tara / Journey:or something snack?
Speaker 7:Do I have my connection with Idris back?
Tim / GM:Yes. As soon as you left that cursed area, it came screaming back.
Speaker 7:Yes. We must leave very soon. We must destroy this great dragon.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. I'm worried that Joe's gonna find us before we find him.
Speaker 4:Don't say Joe too loud.
Tim / GM:Buster's kind of, like, turned around and is, like, staring over at your
Thomas / Guy:group. Different Joe.
Hannah / Eryn:Joe. He
Tim / GM:just does the, like, upwards nod and turn around.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I, for 1, could use a bit of a rest before we move on. Also, we don't know exactly where we're going.
Speaker 5:Did, Ittres give you any instructions?
Speaker 7:Very clear. Very clear instructions. Yes. 3 days north. Yes.
Speaker 5:That that could be anywhere.
Speaker 7:And days meaning when the sun is up and, that happens three times and that's how far north we must go.
Speaker 5:Thank you, Snek.
Speaker 7:You're welcome, Tibeo.
Speaker 5:Well, at least we know that either way we must go north.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. And you were told this by a dragon who can fly?
Speaker 7:Yes. Idris.
Thomas / Guy:How long did you take to get to the outskirts of Aran Amry?
Tim / GM:We went up the, west path north from Tildry instead of north from here. There were a lot of unfriendly foes. Bidet took a couple of arrows just trying to get there.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, no.
Speaker 5:I mean, dragons that bit?
Tim / GM:That's what got us to turn back.
Speaker 4:What color was it?
Tim / GM:Bright red. Yep.
Speaker 5:That might be the dragon we are looking for.
Tim / GM:As in you're going to take it down?
Speaker 4:Well, of course. Of course, we are.
Speaker 5:Don't say it too loud, but,
Hannah / Eryn:Joe
Speaker 5:may have gained some influence over said dragon.
Tim / GM:Oh, god.
Speaker 5:Yeah. So it is important that we, deal with it.
Hannah / Eryn:But it's okay. We have a dragon on our side.
Speaker 7:That's me.
Speaker 5:It's not on our side.
Hannah / Eryn:No. I thought we had another dragon. No. The golden.
Speaker 7:No. This no. It is me that is in charge. You are all my subordinates, and I am the dragon, and we have this under control.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I thought the whole, like, point of you befriending a golden dragon was so he would help us fight other dragons.
Speaker 7:He is helping us with this information we have of where this dragon is located, which is Norse.
Speaker 4:Information we could have figured out ourselves.
Speaker 7:Yes. Well, yes. Okay. Bert, could you not, spy upon this dragon? I have its name.
Thomas / Guy:Sure. Well, in fact, I've been meaning to do this. There's more we could learn about Vixi with a little legend lore.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, yeah. Why don't we get a spot in the inn, get some lunch. Is it dinner? Get some dinner.
Tim / GM:Emery says, that sounds like a good idea. I know a place. You all walk right to Ross the Bosses. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:The only inn.
Tim / GM:Place. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah. We we knew. We knew the place too.
Tim / GM:When you step in there, you hear a strangely affected voice that says, it's not about the money. Of course, I don't care about the money. It's that we're asking for reasonable accommodations, and you can't provide them. This is this is useless. Say something to him, and you hear another voice say, we really shouldn't have to put up with this kind of thing.
Tim / GM:Do you know who we are, where we're from? And you hear Ross the boss say, I'm sorry. I really don't. It's I don't meet a lot of gnomes, period. I, Bert, you are I don't know.
Tim / GM:Head to toe with panic I don't know. As you see your parents arguing with Ross.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. I don't know. I dive underneath Thabio's robe. Oh, fuck.
Tim / GM:At the at the noise, they both turn around and they say, oh, seems the door's blown open. I think we should leave. Take our money elsewhere. Ross just kinda raises his eyebrows like, go ahead.
Thomas / Guy:Bert is shaking his head yes underneath the rope.
Tim / GM:Bert, your dad leans into your mother and says, I really didn't see many other decent places around here. If we wanna sleep on a bed, this might be our only option, darling. She says, simply will not feather beds? Are you joking?
Thomas / Guy:Is our t psychic tea still active?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Thomas / Guy:Tibio, no. They can't stay here under any circumstances.
Tara / Journey:Tibeo speaks mentally back at birth.
Speaker 5:What do you mean? What who are they?
Thomas / Guy:Nobody.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Tim / GM:Natural twenty. Do you wanna roll a, a I'd love to. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:Do I insight against that?
Thomas / Guy:Natural 19.
Speaker 4:13.
Tim / GM:Bert is unwilling to tell you who they are.
Speaker 7:Do we all hear the tease conversations?
Tim / GM:It's up to
Thomas / Guy:you guys. Oh, so he
Speaker 7:can channel it. You choose your channels.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 7:So none of us heard that.
Thomas / Guy:I guess I would just argue the tibia. Okay. Bert's gonna get out, get out his quill. Mhmm. Dear Ross the boss, if you don't give these 2 people a room, I'll read your entire story and tell you what I think all about it.
Thomas / Guy:Sincerely, Bert.
Tim / GM:K. Ross continues to talk to them, and he says, well, if you decide to change your mind, like I said, it's just 5 silver for the 2 of you. You. A single room, I'd assume. I dear.
Tim / GM:Oh, okay. Oh, Engelbert, Wisherspoon. It's so good to hear from you. Okay.
Speaker 4:Is he saying that out loud?
Tim / GM:Yeah. So I I'm sorry. I don't, I don't think I can give you a room. I'm terribly sorry. They both turn around.
Tim / GM:Bert, your mother is now like incredulous, and she goes, what? What? You're not going to give us a room? Are you this is denial of service. I'm being discriminated against just for being absurdly wealthy.
Tim / GM:And she, like, turns around and, like, gestures to, like, the 2 people in the dining area aside from you, and is just, like, can you believe this? I tell somebody. And then she starts, like, shaking your father, and she's, like, Roger, tell somebody. Roger is staring at Ross the boss.
Thomas / Guy:Tibia, what's what's going on out there?
Speaker 5:They are very anxious.
Tim / GM:Did you say Engelbert Wisherspoon? Oh, yeah. He's an old contact of mine. He's a great guy. He seems to know you're here, though.
Tim / GM:Hold on. He, like, looks behind them and sees the rest of you, and he goes, hey, guys. Have you seen Bert?
Speaker 7:He's right here. He's hiding behind Tibi.
Speaker 5:No. No. There is no Bert here.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I don't who's Bert? There is
Tara / Journey:no Bert. And Tibio is doing big arms, big power stance. Very awkward. Super awkward.
Speaker 7:I forgot Bert's not there. He's dead. Yes.
Speaker 5:No. He's not dead.
Speaker 7:We're not sure. We left him where we've
Speaker 5:Also not. Here.
Speaker 4:I I think you're talking about Turt.
Speaker 5:Turt is our friend. Wait, Turt? What?
Hannah / Eryn:No. He was just here a moment ago. I I don't know where he went, though. Holly's, like, looking around for Bert.
Tim / GM:They,
Speaker 7:we just blasted so many deceptions. There's nothing you can do, Tim. Like, what?
Thomas / Guy:They just
Tim / GM:the the 2 of them actually hold hands for a second, and then you see both of their eyes just glow an intense green. And you can see that, like, their clothes are, like, lifting off their body a little bit, and then they release their hands from each other. And they say, Engelbert, why don't you say hi?
Thomas / Guy:I'm gonna try to stealth out of the robes that looks like I was just, like, somewhere behind Tibio. K. Yes. I got a 2. That's what I was hoping for.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:So I try to yeah. I try to stealth out.
Tara / Journey:So as he tries to stealth out, Tibio is also trying to stealth him out.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. So Tibio, you, like, turn around and are, like
Tara / Journey:My spines are
Tim / GM:You're, like, straddle walking so that Bert has a bunch of space under there to stay hidden. Yep. And as you, like, exit out the door, Bert is, like, creeping forward into the room and just, like, comes out under your robes and is looking up at his parents who are looking down at him.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, hey. You didn't tell me you were in town?
Tim / GM:Engelbart, how's my special little boy?
Speaker 4:Oh, boy.
Thomas / Guy:Well, pretty good. Very busy though, you know. We're the 5 of us were all adventurers.
Tim / GM:That sounds very interesting. You should tell us all about it for a long time. And then your father says, we actually have some business here in Gilbert, and we were hoping you could help.
Thomas / Guy:Well, I'll do what I can. I'm surprised you have business here in Lamplight of all places.
Tim / GM:Your mother says, not here. Not here here. No. No. No.
Tim / GM:No. No. No. And then your father says, right. It's actually just a little bit outside of town, a little bit north of here.
Tim / GM:You see? Well, let's get somewhere to talk, Bert.
Speaker 4:Sorry. I think there's been a mistake. You have to go through his secretary, and I point to Holly.
Tim / GM:And who are you?
Speaker 4:I'm his bodyguard.
Tim / GM:She, like, looks you up and down.
Speaker 4:And I look as intimidating as I can.
Hannah / Eryn:She
Tim / GM:looks you up and down again. Her eyes flash green. She goes, I'm deathless, you know.
Speaker 4:Don't know what that means, but I don't I don't like your eyes. Back up, please, ma'am.
Tim / GM:What? She's, like, staring at you and backs up a little bit.
Tara / Journey:What kind of sense am I getting from them?
Tim / GM:That they are illegal. They cannot exist, and it's
Tara / Journey:I'm offended. It's part
Tim / GM:of your responsibility to make sure this stuff doesn't happen. Their their souls are stayed from undeath.
Speaker 5:Bert. Bert. Who are these people? You know them?
Tim / GM:And why are you traveling with the Grim Reaper? Bert.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, these are my these are my parents.
Speaker 5:Bert. You told me your parents.
Thomas / Guy:I did.
Speaker 5:But look at them, Bert.
Thomas / Guy:Well, it I did not lie to you, Tobio.
Tim / GM:Can somebody please say something? This is terribly awkward.
Speaker 4:Back up, ma'am.
Speaker 7:No. No.
Thomas / Guy:It's fine.
Tim / GM:We would like to speak with our son in private.
Thomas / Guy:It's fine. I I'll go talk with him.
Tim / GM:Thank you.
Thomas / Guy:You guys just book us a room, and Ross will get some bacon going, and it'll be fine.
Tim / GM:Ross goes, oh, sure.
Tara / Journey:My skeleton is, like, trembling. The whole thing is trembling, and I'm trembling.
Speaker 7:Yeah. Yes, master. Snack does a deep bow to Bert.
Tim / GM:Wow. As the 3 of them walk away, you can hear Bert's mother say something like, Bert, it's good that you've got friends, but parties are supposed to be balanced. You don't need to travel with 4 rogues.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. That was kind of a good zinger, mom.
Tim / GM:Bert, they they shuffle off with you, and they get right into the heart of the matter. They don't actually give a shit what you've been up to. Classic parents. Right? They stumble immediately.
Thomas / Guy:Who from high school died?
Tim / GM:Yeah. So they just say, how have you been? How are these new hirelings?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, well, they've been great. We've been through all sorts of crazy stuff, and I've been writing this book about it. You can read all about it.
Tim / GM:Yes. Actually, a note on that, Bert. You haven't been dipping into the family account, have you? We noticed a little bit of movement in our accounts, and we were wondering if that was you.
Thomas / Guy:No. I haven't.
Tim / GM:Bart, if you need money, you can just talk to us. You don't have to
Thomas / Guy:I I know. Forge signatures. We've been fine. Look, it it's just, we've been finding troves of gold, you know, treasures. We've got a dragon with us.
Thomas / Guy:Mhmm. He loves gold.
Tim / GM:Roger, give him some money. Anyway, Bert, we're here because, well, we've been the target of an attack. Yes. We've been victimized. Your father and I rely on very special artifacts.
Tim / GM:Your father just says, they're called phylacteries, dear.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know all about it.
Tim / GM:Well, we
Thomas / Guy:I read the brochures.
Tim / GM:Mhmm. Mhmm. They hold hands again, and your mother says, we hid ours where we took our honeymoon. It was a a beautiful little grotto not far from here. Just a bit to the north, we, he she kind of, like, gets dreamy eyed and stares off at your father, and your father says, well, we spent the whole day skinny dipping and smoking and drinking.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. You can skip ahead a little bit, I think.
Tim / GM:And then your mother smiles and says, and then on the beach.
Thomas / Guy:No.
Hannah / Eryn:And then hands.
Tim / GM:They kind of stop talking for a while and stare at each other.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. So you said you're in trouble?
Tim / GM:Oh, yes. Victimized? Sorry. Yes.
Thomas / Guy:I feel like I'm the one victimized.
Tim / GM:So for our phylacteries, we chose, well, some of our favorite possessions. You know your father's fondness for emeralds.
Thomas / Guy:Sure. Sure.
Tim / GM:So, well, we tucked them into a little keepsake box along with your father's class ring, and we pushed it into a tiny waterfall and assumed nobody would ever find them, but No. It really seems like there are just adventurers out there looting and pillaging every square corner of the world.
Thomas / Guy:2 emeralds, you say?
Tim / GM:But it's not like you're thinking, Bert. It can't just be any emeralds. You have to get our emeralds, our phylacteries.
Thomas / Guy:Well, yeah. That's yep. That's what I was thinking.
Tim / GM:Do you understand? It's a pretty complicated magical process.
Thomas / Guy:No. I I get it. The
Tim / GM:the the phylacteries, it's like and he's just kind of lost trying to explain something that you already understand.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Uh-huh. Mhmm. Can I can I ask out of the game what happened to those emeralds?
Speaker 4:We I sold one so that you could have money to buy scrying tools.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. At the Fae Trader.
Speaker 4:At the Fae Trader.
Speaker 5:Oh, no. And the Is
Thomas / Guy:that where it was?
Hannah / Eryn:The fake trader?
Speaker 4:Who gave the other
Tara / Journey:one to Maisie.
Thomas / Guy:Yep. Okay. It's Maisie.
Speaker 4:It's like
Thomas / Guy:I call it a spot. Both. Right?
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:And then
Speaker 4:And Maisie gave me back one.
Tim / GM:Yep.
Thomas / Guy:Okay.
Tara / Journey:Great. Cool.
Thomas / Guy:In
Tim / GM:any case, we were going to go back to the swimming hole to check again tomorrow just to be doubly sure, but
Thomas / Guy:I I think I know a swimming hole north of here. Holly? Holly, could you come in here a second? Mhmm.
Hannah / Eryn:Yep. Yep.
Thomas / Guy:Could you bring up the swimming hole at the on the Rick the burger
Hannah / Eryn:The horoscope?
Thomas / Guy:The hysteroscope. Thank you. Could you could you bring up that for, for mom and pop here?
Hannah / Eryn:Bert, aside to Bert, Bert, do we need to help him? Are they are they safe?
Thomas / Guy:I it's all under control, Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't trust you all.
Tim / GM:Style. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, stops talking to Bert and then does the projection of the horoscope to show the swimming hole.
Tim / GM:Yeah. For the millionth time. You see Uli's naked butt immediately. Just like it's pretty much like full frame, and then she runs away and jumps into
Thomas / Guy:the thing. Right.
Speaker 4:It's like perfectly shiny and round.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Sorry. I know how you guys feel about nudity.
Tim / GM:Your mother's face.
Thomas / Guy:Is this the swimming hall?
Tim / GM:Your mother blushes and nods. And then, she leans in closely at the projection and points to Maisie climbing into the waterfall, and she says, who is that ratty little bitch?
Tara / Journey:Oh my god.
Hannah / Eryn:Mother. Holly stops the projection. She's like, that's the end of it. I don't know who that girl is.
Thomas / Guy:Thank you, Holly.
Tim / GM:So you know where these are, don't you?
Thomas / Guy:Well, thank you, Holly. That will be all.
Hannah / Eryn:Nowhere, what are, Bert?
Thomas / Guy:Thank you, Holly.
Tim / GM:Our our belongings, You took them.
Hannah / Eryn:I took them.
Tim / GM:Those were ours. Excuse me.
Thomas / Guy:No. Hold on here. We'll go to watering hole and we'll get them for you, and then we will go our separate ways.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly is just looking really, like, quizzically at Bert and then looks back at his parents and then back at Bert again.
Speaker 4:It's just like, what?
Tim / GM:Your mother says, we don't have time to wait around for you to figure out what to do, Engelbert. Why is it always delays with you? Your father and I are going back to our chateau in Vindorn. You will take the emeralds there.
Thomas / Guy:So you finally got that place in Vindorn,
Tim / GM:We did, and we found a nice deal. I Not that you'd even appreciate the finer aspects of it.
Thomas / Guy:I bet you did. Well, we have to be headed toward Vindorn ourselves. So
Tim / GM:Excellent. Then you
Speaker 7:can bring them by
Tim / GM:in a few days. Thank you.
Speaker 4:This is emeralds.
Tim / GM:I don't know why I have to beg for everything from you, Engelbert.
Thomas / Guy:It's a mystery.
Tim / GM:Roger kind of, like, pats you on the shoulder, and he just says, hang in there.
Thomas / Guy:Thanks, dad.
Tim / GM:She takes a second, looks back up at Ross, and says, we won't be staying here after all. Thank you, and goodbye.
Hannah / Eryn:Good, really?
Tim / GM:They, give you one little, like, flash of emerald eyes, Uli, and then they depart.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. Who wants bacon? Bacon time.
Speaker 5:Let's Hold on.
Thomas / Guy:Get the bacon. Bring in home the bacon. Bert.
Speaker 4:Who were they?
Thomas / Guy:Who were
Hannah / Eryn:They're Bert's parents.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, the yeah.
Tara / Journey:They are very, very wrong.
Speaker 4:I'm no offense. Yeah. Like, really no offense, and I'm no stranger to family troubles. But I do not like those people.
Speaker 5:But they should not exist.
Thomas / Guy:Kinda rude. Yeah. I agree, Tibio.
Tim / GM:No. Of course. Rude.
Speaker 5:Oh, but this is very bad.
Thomas / Guy:I mean, they're gone now. It's not so bad.
Speaker 5:Oh, no. They should not be here at all.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. They should they they should probably just stay in Vindorn.
Tara / Journey:Oh, but oh, no. No. No. It is very bad. And Tibia is, like, pacing around the inn, like, oh, fuck.
Tara / Journey:Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Tibia.
Speaker 4:Tibia, they're they were, like, pretty entitled and rude, but I don't think you call for death.
Speaker 5:You do not understand. They are so far past dead. It is.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, no. No. No. No. No.
Speaker 4:I mean You really don't like them, I guess.
Speaker 7:That's kind of extreme, Tibia. I mean, look at bidet. It's
Speaker 5:But you know what they have done.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah, Tibio. I I know.
Speaker 5:But it is it is unfathomable.
Hannah / Eryn:What they do and why were they so interested in Maisie?
Speaker 5:This is a crime against nature.
Thomas / Guy:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:What do they want with Maisie?
Speaker 7:I don't think making Bert is a crime against Nitra, Tibeo.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, no. No. No.
Speaker 7:That was quite rude.
Tara / Journey:Tibeo is just like nodding to everything that everyone says and really is focused on Bert and, like, you see this. Right? You know this is bad.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. Alright. I'll spill the beans. My parents that you've just met, they're what you would know as liches. Do you know about them?
Tara / Journey:Tivia's rocking back and forth sitting on
Hannah / Eryn:the floor. What?
Speaker 4:I don't I don't know what that is.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh. Oh, dear.
Thomas / Guy:It's a deal where you kind of, cast off your life to form kind of an undead pact where you can never die and your life essence exists in some sort of magical object
Speaker 4:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:Which is important. I'll get to that later.
Speaker 5:So it's
Speaker 4:like It's curses.
Speaker 5:It is evil. It is so wrong. It is very bad.
Tim / GM:I mean, I'm
Thomas / Guy:not a fan either, Tibio.
Speaker 5:Oh, no. No. No. I do not
Speaker 4:want to. What's the difference between that and dying and coming back in an object?
Thomas / Guy:Well, they never died per se, at least the normal way.
Speaker 4:Gross.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. They never pass through that gateway, I guess, and rather just
Speaker 5:They have set themselves apart from it. It is the utmost wrong.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. I I get it, Tibio.
Tim / GM:Emery is at the bar just kind of sitting and listening to everything, and he just, like, shovels a bunch of peanuts into his mouth and goes,
Speaker 4:damn. Well, why were you talking about Maisie?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, they were really interested in the video of the the spring that we used to swim at or that
Speaker 5:one time.
Hannah / Eryn:You showed them that? Everyone wants to see it. It's a hot hot vid this summer. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:They saw it. Well, remember the magical objects I was telling you about that they they, put their life force into? Yeah. We may have come across those already on our travels.
Speaker 4:What do you mean?
Hannah / Eryn:The box we found under the waterfall Yes. That Raisie found.
Thomas / Guy:It's those 2 emeralds.
Speaker 5:Oh, Maisie still has one.
Thomas / Guy:Maisie still has one.
Speaker 7:We must steal from Maisie yet again.
Speaker 4:That's her college fund. How am I gonna send her to college?
Thomas / Guy:The other one
Hannah / Eryn:College can be free in this world. Okay?
Thomas / Guy:The other one
Speaker 4:I sold that.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. That should be well, it was in the Fae Trader. I don't know how much those things circulate.
Speaker 4:It could be in the Fae Realms now.
Hannah / Eryn:Why do, do we need to help them? Are they, like, still your parents? Or are they
Speaker 5:Missy should not be anywhere near anything that has touched them.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. I I don't think they're a danger to other people.
Speaker 5:They are a danger to life and death.
Speaker 7:Tibio, just eat some bacon.
Speaker 5:You know I will not touch bacon.
Speaker 4:Crackers? Fish crackers?
Tara / Journey:Tavia was just shaking his head and rocking back and forth and, like,
Hannah / Eryn:no. No. No. No. Holly walks up to the bar and gestures with two fingers at the bartender.
Tim / GM:He gives you 2 strips of bacon.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly just eats them down the bar. Holly eats the 2 strips of bacon and then makes a little shot glass some, like, shape with her hand and then does 2 fingers. Yeah.
Tim / GM:He slides that down too.
Hannah / Eryn:She gives one to Tibeo.
Tara / Journey:Tibeo tosses it back. I
Hannah / Eryn:don't get one. And then Holly looks at her other shot glass, and then she gives the second one to Tibeo too.
Tara / Journey:Tosses that one back too.
Tim / GM:You just hear you hear Emery go, and he's just spitting out peanut shells. And he says, are there, like, higher ups in Vindorn? Or
Thomas / Guy:I mean, I suppose if Vindorn has any sort of high society, then they belong to that.
Tim / GM:They do indeed. Vindorn sucks right now, but it doesn't suck for the elite. It's better than it's ever been for them. What's All of the resources are going funneled upwards.
Thomas / Guy:So if we were to maybe seek an audience with people close to Orzo.
Tim / GM:That might get you places.
Tara / Journey:Are you
Thomas / Guy:okay, bud?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Got it.
Tara / Journey:Tibeo stands up. His his courage has been gathered and slaps Emery on the back a little bit. But
Thomas / Guy:Yes, Tibio?
Speaker 5:What your parents have done is in affront. I am so sorry, but things cannot stand like this.
Thomas / Guy:Well, what are you saying, Tibio?
Speaker 5:But their their very presence is wrong.
Tim / GM:Well
Speaker 5:I have a responsibility.
Thomas / Guy:Well, Octavia, I don't agree with it either, but they're they're my parents. I know. Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Speaker 5:Maybe we can find some other way.
Tim / GM:Emery goes heavy, and he stands up from the bar. You guys should get some rest. Sounds like we gotta travel a lot soon. Good night.
Speaker 5:Maybe there's something else we can do. Maybe we can figure it out on the way.
Hannah / Eryn:You know what? I think we need to drink a little bit more, and Holly gestures at the bartender and asks, beers for everybody.
Speaker 4:I mean, we've figured out how to separate people from curses, and and they still live. Like, maybe we can, I mean
Hannah / Eryn:I don't know? Everything I've ever heard about liches, it's kind of like you sold your soul, it's gone. Like you don't get it back.
Speaker 4:Buy it back.
Hannah / Eryn:I think that's part of the deal for is, like, you're no longer yourself.
Thomas / Guy:I've always thought it was pretty permanent until unless something happens to the phylactery.
Speaker 4:And then
Hannah / Eryn:poof. So
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Poof. Why
Hannah / Eryn:didn't they just hold on to these items? Why did they hide them?
Thomas / Guy:Most liches, especially those who are not combat able, tend to hide them for safety rather than keep them on their person.
Speaker 5:Interesting.
Thomas / Guy:They offered this whole deal to me too once. You know?
Speaker 4:Did you ever consider it?
Thomas / Guy:It was a hard pass for me.
Hannah / Eryn:Never buy a timeshare.
Tim / GM:In your own body?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, no.
Tim / GM:Ross says, are you all getting rooms for tonight, or what's the plan?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. We're getting rooms.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Do you have any rooms, Ross, the boss?
Tim / GM:Always.
Hannah / Eryn:Awesome. Also, another beer, please.
Thomas / Guy:Ross, I have to take a rain check on what I said about your story.
Tim / GM:As you're kind of, like, like, gesturing to him, talking to him, he's already got the manuscript in his hands. He's, like, bringing it above the counter. And then, like, when you say you can't look at it, he just, like, shoves it in a drawer and slams it, and he goes, yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Of course.
Tim / GM:Of course. Yeah. Don't worry about it. It's not
Thomas / Guy:Actually, you know what, Ross? No. It'll help me take my mind off of things. It's fine.
Tim / GM:You you sure? Yeah. I'll read it. Okay. Well, listen.
Tim / GM:The first act is kinda wishy washy, so just power through that part of it and, listen. The main character tell me if you get this from the writing, but it's supposed to be me, but it's like I put a ton of distance. You know, my name is Ross, and, you know, the character's name is similar but not the same, and just let me know how it all
Thomas / Guy:Alright. I'm gonna take this up to my room, and, we can talk more about murdering my parents in the morning. Good night.
Speaker 4:I mean, that's a little morbid.
Hannah / Eryn:They're not even your parents, say war.
Tara / Journey:Tibio has poured himself another drink and has drunk
Hannah / Eryn:it. They're just so, like like, some big powerful, you know, undead people now.
Speaker 7:I think it's only fair if we kill Bert's pants. We kill Tibios too.
Hannah / Eryn:Tibio I mean, snack, you sound way too sober. Have some more.
Speaker 7:I bet I asked for cocoa. I didn't I tossed the beer on the ground.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't want that. Hey.
Tara / Journey:I mean, I
Speaker 4:don't think we should kill everyone's parents.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, we definitely aren't killing yours. They're way too strong.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. They are. I'm afraid strong. I'm afraid of them.
Speaker 5:Your your father tell me one one card on the loot.
Speaker 4:1?
Speaker 5:No. 2. 2 cards. No. I don't want to kill his parents.
Hannah / Eryn:It's gonna be okay, Tibio.
Tara / Journey:Tibio stumbles up to a room and goes to bed.
Tim / GM:Todd was in the bar when you were saying that when you were like, I don't wanna kill his parents, and Todd was just like, what in the
Speaker 4:I don't maybe we don't have to. He's the king of death. Yeah. He could just send him back. I don't know.
Speaker 4:I mean,
Hannah / Eryn:a lot gets solved over a beer, but I don't think we're gonna solve this one, Uli.
Speaker 4:I I would just you just smash them.
Tara / Journey:And then
Hannah / Eryn:The liches?
Speaker 4:The air. Yeah. Smashed.
Hannah / Eryn:I mean, I agree with you a 100 percent.
Speaker 7:Yeah. We could do this while they're both going to bed, and it's all done by the morning.
Speaker 4:I don't I don't wanna go to bed. I'm so tired.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly is asleep on the bar top. She passed out. Beautiful.
Speaker 4:Another round.
Tim / GM:Thanks so much for listening. I'm Tim, your DM and your genie.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Hannah playing Holly Hyacinth.
Thomas / Guy:I'm Thomas. I play Engelbert FF Wisherspoon.
Tara / Journey:I'm Tara, and I play Tibio Femur.
Speaker 7:I'm John. I play Snack the
Hannah / Eryn:kobold. And I'm Maggie playing Uli. Oh,
Speaker 5:hell hello. How are you? I Oh, what was that? Oh, you can find this podcast on Instagram and Twitter at bebop_podcast? Oh, and and you can rate and review it wherever you listen to podcasts?
Speaker 5:Oh, and you can support the podcasters by going to buy me a coffee dot com slash bebop? I don't know what any of that means.
