Cursebreaker | 28 - Welcome Home
Last time on Cursebreaker. The journey to Hog Wild began with a troubled trail of cursed items. We stopped at a trading post to ask for directions and wound up helping them deal with a couple cursed items purchased from Joe's crapshack. Later on, while washing bidet in a shallow stream, we met a party of adventurers who used to run with Emery. Though, the Emery they talked about sounds very different from the one we know.
Tim / GM:Just last night, Master Snacks survived a brief assassination attempt sent by Joe. That must mean we're getting close. Things are about to get hog wild.
Maggie / Poppy:Can you set the scene for us?
John / Doran:That's what Jeanie did. Yeah.
Maggie / Poppy:No. I don't know exactly where we are right now, though, in my character.
Tim / GM:You had just let a criminal go after, he had stabbed Snack in a failed assassination attempt. Genie was called out to remove a paralytic toxin that was moving through snack and the assailant. You guys saved his life. Made sure that he would someday start a dog grooming service called, a new leash on life.
Tara / Journey:God. We're good.
Tim / GM:And sent him on his way. It is the next day. It is bright and sunny and clear and pleasant, and your wagon is rolling along on a dirt trail not far from Hogwild when, you hear a sort of, howling laughter in the distance. Just like a
Tara / Journey:That's a monkey sound.
Tim / GM:Yeah. That's what you hear.
Maggie / Poppy:Is Carl here?
Tim / GM:Yes. Carl is, John Tully pulling the wagon along. He's big on arm pumping. He just kinda pumps his arms while he tricks forward.
Speaker 5:It's like an old lady walking around the lake.
Tim / GM:Exactly.
Speaker 6:He's It's
Maggie / Poppy:power walking. Yeah. Carl, how much farther is it? Holly says that she's holding the reins just sitting even though there are no there's no reason for reins at all.
Tara / Journey:They're just, like, tied nicely to him. There's no, like, pulling on them or Yeah. They don't do anything.
Tim / GM:This won't be long now. Maybe 20 minutes. I don't know.
Speaker 6:Oh, god. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Guys, I oh, maybe you guys should just go ahead.
Speaker 6:I'm I'll just stay here.
Speaker 5:No. Uli, this is your family. Shouldn't you be excited to see them?
Speaker 6:Yeah. You think you think that. Right?
Speaker 5:Everyone we have met so far has been delightful.
Maggie / Poppy:I mean, I wouldn't go quite as far as delightful, but they've been fine.
Speaker 6:They yeah.
Speaker 5:They all tried their very best to help us.
Tim / GM:Where is everybody right now?
Maggie / Poppy:I kind of imagined Holly sitting up on the wagon, like, bench on the front with the reins and maybe Tibio next to her and then maybe Uli just sitting in the wagon right behind us.
Speaker 6:I'm just sitting, like, legs out the back and just, like, head head in hands kind of freaking out. Nice.
Speaker 7:Yeah. I'm in the wagon.
John / Doran:Snack is behind, bidet.
Tim / GM:Walking? Yes. Okay. Is bidet not for riding? No.
Tim / GM:Oh, okay.
Speaker 6:You think he could
Tim / GM:support literally anything? As a steed.
Maggie / Poppy:Is bidet for anything?
John / Doran:He does well, Snack does ride him at times, but Uli, I sympathize with your fear of your family. I do not want to meet mine again.
Speaker 6:Yeah? Do you wanna talk about it? Like, we could talk about that.
John / Doran:No. I I think it'd be best if I tell your family you have died if you do not want
Speaker 7:to see them.
Maggie / Poppy:No. You can't do that.
John / Doran:Just give me a lock of your hair, and I'll just yes.
Speaker 6:I'm I'm really starting to consider that. It's it's you've all met them individually, but when we all get together, it's a lot.
Maggie / Poppy:Is there anything else we should know about before we get there?
Speaker 6:Well, I kind of ran away from home and didn't tell anyone where I was going.
Speaker 5:Well, we all do that.
Maggie / Poppy:Do do we? You know, what I guess it might help us a little bit if we know what made you run away, if you don't mind sharing.
Speaker 6:My family are we're all really strong, big type. My parents really stressed the importance of being strong and making your own way in the world. And then I was born with magic. Mhmm. And
Speaker 5:And you're so strong with magic.
Speaker 6:Yeah. I wasn't always strong with magic.
John / Doran:Did your mom say, I will only keep 3 of you
Speaker 7:Right to the death.
Speaker 6:No. I see. No.
Speaker 5:Snack, did your mother say that?
John / Doran:We are going to meet Uli's pants, not mine.
Speaker 7:Well, you never know.
Speaker 6:So they they all just, like, really value each other and how they made their own ways and had to work really hard at it. And then I didn't, and and, I decided to leave.
Maggie / Poppy:Well, whoever thinks magic is the easy way out is a fool because they have no idea how difficult magic can be to handle and how much study and time it takes to make your magic do what you want. Like, you know what I mean? They just don't understand, probably. But
Speaker 5:magic is just another tool. It is not something to be ashamed of.
Speaker 7:Uli, I'm sure your parents will be happy to see you. And once we tell them of everything you've gone through and everything you've accomplished since you saw them last, I think they'll come around.
Speaker 5:Yeah. You're a hero.
Maggie / Poppy:And if not, we'll just leave town again.
Speaker 6:You you would leave for me? Of course. If I wanted.
Tim / GM:Of course, Yulie. We'd do anything for you, says Carl.
Speaker 6:Thank thanks, Carl. I haven't known you very long, but it means a lot.
Maggie / Poppy:While this conversation is happening, Holly just remembers all of a sudden because they're talking to Carl about her other bean and she pulls out, Sal and just set Sal on the the seat of the wagon with her and just keeps petting him so he can just watch and listen and be out more. She's trying to remember to take him out more.
Tim / GM:Sure. Yeah. He's, he's very much alive, but he's just being quiet and purring and enjoying the ride.
John / Doran:What was that laughing noise? Did anyone else hear that?
Speaker 7:Oh, yeah. I heard it too. That's kinda creepy.
Speaker 5:I assumed it was a bird.
Speaker 6:I just thought we were close
Tim / GM:to Hogwild. Everybody make a perception check.
Speaker 6:I got a nat one. 13.
Tara / Journey:I got a stinky, icky 20.
Speaker 7:22.
Tim / GM:8. Alright. So, 2022. Probably, you both notice, there is a raven not far from your wagon that seems to be kind of flying from tree to tree. In addition to that, when listening closely and looking out, you hear again this kind of weird, wicked laughing noise coming from a good distance behind you guys in the woods.
Tim / GM:This
Speaker 7:Tibio, don't tell Snack, but you see those ravens around?
Speaker 5:Yes. It might be for me. I can check. Also, I'm going to check to see if there is any dark magic incoming. I'll be right back.
Speaker 5:And I would like to
Tara / Journey:do a perception check for curses and dark magic.
Speaker 5:16.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You don't you don't sense anything in your immediate area. Okay.
Speaker 7:What do you mean those ravens are for you?
Speaker 5:It is, just messages from home.
Tara / Journey:Oh. Just don't worry about it. And, I walk up to the raven, and I say,
Tim / GM:it actually doesn't respond, but it, like, changes eyes. It flips to the other side of its head and stares you down.
Speaker 5:Hello?
Tim / GM:It trills once, and then you hear it say Tylio, your time draws near.
Speaker 5:I thought I had more time. You said I had more time.
Tim / GM:It flips to the other eye again and says, you have some time.
Speaker 5:Okay. I will I will hurry. I I think once I make sure my companions are safe, I will, I will come home.
Tim / GM:It, it lags behind and lets the wagon, like, roll ahead, but it doesn't leave your presence. It still kind of keeps up with the wagon.
Speaker 7:K. I don't wanna pry Tibio, but, what was that all about?
Speaker 5:Well, I might as well tell you all now. I am supposed to go home. I was not supposed to spend so long searching for bones. I took more time than I needed.
Maggie / Poppy:Too much time on the bones springing?
Speaker 5:Yes. And now I am receiving messages from home telling me to return. It it is not important. It is a family matter, but at some point, I will need to go.
Speaker 7:Oh, well, maybe we can go with you once we're done here in Hogwild.
Speaker 6:Would you really? I would love to experience someone else's family drama.
Speaker 5:Oh, I would I would love that if you would all come with me. You do not have to. It is I understand it is not glamorous like Tildry, and it is not, exciting like Hogwild, but I I think it will be I I would like to have you there.
Speaker 6:We'd love to come.
Speaker 7:I, for 1, can't wait to meet the rest of the femurs.
Speaker 5:Oh, okay. Well, I guess it is not such bad news then.
Maggie / Poppy:Were you just sad because you had to say goodbye to us?
Speaker 5:Well, of course. You are my friends, and this has been the greatest adventure of my life.
Maggie / Poppy:Aw. Tibbs. And Holly, kinda reaches a hand out to, Tibio and just gives them a little squeeze. Yeah.
Speaker 6:Yeah. We're we're best friends now. You can't get rid of us.
Speaker 5:Good. Good. Trebon. Trebon.
Maggie / Poppy:Alright. Alright. Are we there yet? Carl, are we there yet?
Tim / GM:I was looking for something good to interrupt, but, you hear much closer now.
Speaker 6:No. Okay. I heard it that time.
Tim / GM:You can also hear the light padding of feet, around the corner behind you all. Something is coming.
Maggie / Poppy:Snack, what is it?
John / Doran:I don't know. I'll turn around and look.
Speaker 7:Yeah. I'll try looking. I'll try looking.
Tara / Journey:Can I do an eyeball check?
Tim / GM:So you all turned down and, looked down this tunnel of trees behind you on the dirt path, and there's a moment of of silence. And then you see peeling around the corner, almost losing its footing, are, 4 wargs. On the back of them are riding, gnolls. They are these hunchbacked, bipedal hyena like creatures that are wearing, sort of leather armor, some metal implements. One of them, much larger than the others, has a flail, at its side.
Tim / GM:The others have clubs, at their side that they are brandishing and taking off of their saddles that they have on these wargs. It looks like they're preparing to engage with your wagon.
Tara / Journey:I yelp, and then I throw my mirror ball.
Maggie / Poppy:Nice. Holly, as that's pulls it pulls it up. He says, what's up? And, he's and pulls it pulls it up.
Tim / GM:He says, what's up? And, as you pull back in the reins, he goes, and he, like, turns sideways, and the wagon goes, like, skidding out in fish tails and goes completely horizontal, totally blocking off the Panama Canal here. And, the knoll's coming up from behind you, so now they've got sort of a dead end.
Speaker 6:And then Carl poofs out of existence. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Carl's not a fighter. He disappears.
Speaker 6:Ready for a fight. I crack my knuckles and cast true strike on the first one I can see.
Tim / GM:Okay. So each of you gets one action to kind of prepare, and then we can roll initiative.
Maggie / Poppy:Holly casts armor of agath Agathys.
John / Doran:Zach will cast a barrel, image on top of, bidet. So Okay. Excellent. A barrel is there. Yeah.
John / Doran:Yeah.
Maggie / Poppy:And my armor, is a protective magical force that surrounds me manifesting, as a spectral frost. I gain 5 temporary hit points.
Speaker 7:Bert, I'm gonna cast magic stone and enchant some quills.
Tim / GM:Okay. Let's have you all roll initiative also.
Speaker 7:Hey. Holy moly.
Tim / GM:Let's start with Holly.
Maggie / Poppy:10.
Speaker 7:Berg, 21.
Maggie / Poppy:19.
John / Doran:Snacking, 16.
Speaker 5:17.
Speaker 7:So 4 Knowles?
Tim / GM:Yes. On Wargs? Yes. Alright. To start us off is, birds.
Tim / GM:They are still a good distance away. Let's go ahead and do our, your little prepared action here as combat begins, but we'll do it in order. So, Bert, your quills.
Speaker 7:Yeah. I guess I'm blasting them.
Tim / GM:Is magic stone a spell? Like
Speaker 7:a Yeah. It's a cantrip. Okay. And it's a bonus action to enchant them and then
Tim / GM:Oh, great. Okay. Go ahead.
Speaker 7:Not great. 15 hit?
Tim / GM:It depends who you're going after, actually. Are you going after the large one or one of the smaller ones?
Speaker 7:Whoever is in front.
Tim / GM:You still have the option of large or small. They're coming up in the left and right of you. Mhmm.
Speaker 7:I'll just shoot the first one on the left. Okay.
Tim / GM:Then a 15 would hit.
Speaker 7:Yay. K. I chose
Maggie / Poppy:Was that a large or a small one?
John / Doran:Small. Okay. Twelve damage.
Tim / GM:So you, kind of look out the back door of the caravan that you're riding in, Ulya is sitting at the back, and just kind of over her shoulder, you toss a brilliant quill. And, Will, you can see some effervescent sparks, fading off of it as it launches towards the thing. And it, nails one of the gnolls right in the neck.
Maggie / Poppy:Yeah. Bert, you
Speaker 6:were right behind me?
Speaker 7:Yes.
Speaker 6:I fist bump you.
Speaker 7:Yeah. I reach up really high and fist bump you.
Speaker 6:Nice one.
Tim / GM:Yeah. That, I
Speaker 7:had to jump a little bit.
Tim / GM:The gnoll is almost knocked off of its work, actually. It's kind of, reeling from that attack. Next up is Tibio.
Tara / Journey:Hell, yeah. I throw my mirror ball.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay.
Tara / Journey:For the first time.
Tim / GM:Yeah. And I
Tara / Journey:have to roll to hit?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Tara / Journey:Oh, it's gonna fail, though. It's gonna it's gonna I got a 7. How do I add to it? Fours?
Tim / GM:Range attacks of dexterity and proficiency.
Speaker 5:12.
Tim / GM:Does not hit.
Speaker 5:I told you.
Tim / GM:So, yeah, it just kind of, goes stray of one of the smaller ones, and just does a big kind of figure 8 loop and, whips back towards you, Tibio.
Speaker 5:Do I still have a bonus action? Yes.
Tara / Journey:Fuck yeah. I'm going to misty step behind them.
Speaker 7:Oh, mister step. Is there a missus step?
Tim / GM:So the gnoll that was hit with a quill, comes charging up, gains a little bit of speed. It is Uli's turn.
Speaker 6:Okay. So he's, like, within melee range then. Cool. Is there anything in the cart?
Tim / GM:There's, like, your supplies and, like, rations and
Speaker 6:Something I could bludgeon with?
Tim / GM:There's, like, a, like, an iron implement that's used for, like, a campfire kettle. Just like an iron stick.
Speaker 6:Okay. I grab it Yep. And improvise weapon attack.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 5:And
Speaker 6:because I have true strike, I have advantage. 22.
Tim / GM:That hits.
Speaker 6:7 bonk damage.
Tim / GM:You just reach behind you, grab the first thing you can feel. It says iron rod, and you smash him on the head. And, he just looks at you with this kind of, like, concussed look, and he actually drops his club onto the road.
Speaker 6:Could I meta magic quick and spell a bonus action?
Tim / GM:I think so.
Maggie / Poppy:Okay.
Tim / GM:Fits within the rules. Yeah.
Speaker 6:Yeah. I am going to shock and grasp through it if you'll allow that.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 6:And I would like to do that at a second level. That's 55 of that.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. After you, you kind of, like, contact him with this iron rod, and then it's still, like, lingering around him, and then you, like, press it into him and send electricity up through it and shocking grasp him through the rod.
Speaker 6:Actually, I don't know if I do that because I have to make him a a spell attack. Sorry. 17. Boom.
Tim / GM:Next up is snack.
John / Doran:Is the one that Bert shot dead? No. Snack will kill the one Bert
Tim / GM:shot k.
John / Doran:With his quill.
Speaker 7:Tag team.
John / Doran:26. What are
Tim / GM:you doing to it?
John / Doran:Eldritch blast.
Tim / GM:Okay.
John / Doran:Alright. First one, we got 18 damage.
Tim / GM:Okay. So after that, you hit the gnoll with your eldritch blast, and it just explodes in these, like, purple and orange effervescent sparks. I've used effervescent twice today. That is the last one. And, just goes sailing off of its warg.
Tim / GM:The warg immediately doubles back and just starts sniffing around the knoll on the ground and realizes it's dead, and then it just becomes kind of aimless.
Speaker 5:Oh, no.
John / Doran:Instead of my second eldritch blast, I'll go talk to the warg. Mhmm. Help us murder your allies or I will flay you slowly.
Tara / Journey:Oh my god.
Tim / GM:Making intimidation checks.
Maggie / Poppy:Damn. He's talking in animal speak. Right? So he can't understand. He's going
John / Doran:Intimidation 12.
Tim / GM:The warg looks back at you and says, you get better results with honey than vinegar, and runs off into the woods. The large knoll, riding the larger warg, rides ahead. It is going to make an acrobatics check, I believe. That went poorly.
Speaker 6:Did not stick the landing.
Tim / GM:This this knoll was trying to jump your caravan to get on the other side of it, but it did not make it. The warg smashes into the caravan, and the knoll goes sailing over it. Damn. And, rolls in the dirt on the other side. The one behind it, runs off into the woods to circumvent the dead end that you guys have made.
Tim / GM:And they both try to run ahead, leaving the one small Nolan or behind.
Speaker 7:So they're all trying to get on the other side?
Tim / GM:Those 2 were. Yeah. Next up is Holly.
Maggie / Poppy:How far away are they in front of the wagon?
Tim / GM:One of them is on the ground, maybe, 10 feet on the other side. The other one is more like 30 feet away on the other side. It's been its whole turn running away.
Maggie / Poppy:Perfect. Holly is going to, stand up on the seat, and she is going to cast Erupting Earth, ahead of the wagon where the big guy went with the little guy. And it's a 20 foot cube, so I wanna cast it far enough away where it'll erupt just on them and not impact us.
Tim / GM:I don't think he'd be able to hit both, though.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Maggie / Poppy:I wanna hit the big one.
Tim / GM:Okay. So that's the one closer to the wagon then?
Speaker 5:Each creature
Maggie / Poppy:in that area must make a dexterity saving throw.
Tim / GM:Alright. That is a 2 for a deck save.
Speaker 5:That loses.
Tim / GM:Yes. It does.
Maggie / Poppy:Okay. It's gonna take 3 d twelve bludgeoning damage.
Tim / GM:That's a lot.
Maggie / Poppy:Yeah. 16. I didn't know very good. So the ground erupts, into difficult terrain until cleared away.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Maggie / Poppy:So I just kinda screwed us over for Carl getting our wagon across.
Speaker 7:Yeah. That's why I was grimacing when you said that's what you're casting.
Tim / GM:So the earth erupts directly beneath this guy, and, you see him lifted into the air. The people on the other side of the caravan can actually see him being, like, thrown into the air and then hit the earth again.
Speaker 7:Oh, no.
Tim / GM:But it's still alive. Next up is, Bert again.
Speaker 7:Okay. I will attack the one that's still on our my side of this wagon. And that attack will be guiding bolt, I guess. Okay. That's a good one.
Speaker 7:30 20.
Tim / GM:Nice. Yeah.
Speaker 7:Nails them. Alright. 12, 12?
Tim / GM:Cold damage?
Speaker 7:Yeah. Alright.
Tim / GM:Your guiding bolt slams into them, and, you're used to seeing this creating sort of a glowing halo around them when it hits. This one impacted so hard that it just starts on fire, a radiant flame. Damn. And, it rolls to the ground and stops moving. Oh.
Tim / GM:There is, one boss gnoll that is prone and one that is 30 feet away trying to escape. It is Tib's turn.
Tara / Journey:My turn. I am going to attack the furthest away one. I did Misty Step far away, but I also have spell sniper as a feat. So my spell attack rules double range.
Tim / GM:Nice. It's
John / Doran:a little bit of a flex. I don't think you're out of range of anything.
Tara / Journey:Just saying. Just in
Maggie / Poppy:case. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:Just in case I'm more than 60 feet away.
Speaker 7:Because I'm
Tim / GM:We should be
Tara / Journey:fine. Matter. Yeah. So I'm going to, yeah, cast array of sickness.
Speaker 5:17.
Tim / GM:That hits.
Tara / Journey:You sniped him. I sniped him. This guy takes 2 d 8 poison damage and must make a con save. So he's taken 9 poison damage and is poisoned until the end of my next turn.
Tim / GM:But continues to ride away, nonetheless. It is the turn of the gnolls, which are dead. Next to Zulie.
Speaker 6:There's one still running?
Tim / GM:Yep. And one boss in the ground.
Speaker 5:That gnoll keeps running. Yeah. Keeps running.
Speaker 6:How far away is it?
Tim / GM:30 feet from the caravan.
Speaker 6:Yeah. And how close is it to the boss? Wait. That's
Tim / GM:So sorry. The boss is 10 feet from the caravan. The other one is 30 feet from the caravan.
Speaker 6:So okay. Okay. I wanna cast a fireball. Please. I'm gonna cast a fireball directly into the hole in the ground.
Speaker 6:Okay. Oh my god.
Tim / GM:I was having a bad day. Alright. It it will make a deck save with disadvantage. Got a 4 and a 5.
Speaker 6:Crispy knoll. 28. Damn. Damn. Bitch.
Speaker 6:What?
Speaker 7:Yeah. Image. 28 damn.
Speaker 6:I I misheard you, and I thought you said, bitch.
Tim / GM:Zach is just
Speaker 7:like, stay down, bitch. Woah. I was gonna kill that guy. Okay.
Tim / GM:So erupting earth goes off and, like, there's this huge spray of, like, dirt and and rocks, and then you see the gnoll fall back into this pit. And then Uli throws a fireball into the pit, and you see the gnoll, like, bounce out again, just, like, crispy and fall back into the pit. And then even after that, you hear this, like
Maggie / Poppy:How is he still alive?
Tim / GM:It is snack's turn.
John / Doran:I will approach him, the one that was fireballed.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
John / Doran:Does he look bloodied?
Tim / GM:Oh, yeah. Okay. Charbroiled.
John / Doran:Okay. I will cast eldritch blast.
Tim / GM:Okay. It, looks up at you and, like, grabs its flail and, it like stands on, like, one foot getting ready to stand up. Go ahead. Time to die.
John / Doran:25. Okay. 15 damage.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. How do you wanna do this, I guess? He's technically a boss of some sort.
John / Doran:I wanna shoot the he said he has a morning star?
Tim / GM:Yeah. One of those, like, chain flail things.
John / Doran:Oh, the flails? Yep. I'm gonna use both eldritch blast to shoot the flails to ricochet into his face. So it's just like just too stuck to his head, and then he collapses to the ground.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. That, that gnoll is dealt with, laying in a pile of smoldering dirt. After snack, it is the other, gnoll's turn. It is going to, use all of its warg's action to, get away as quickly as it can from your group.
Tim / GM:It is now a 120 feet away. Holly.
Speaker 7:So is it running toward town?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Maggie / Poppy:Holly's a little annoyed that she didn't get him with her erupting earth last time. So she is going to cast ice storm Mhmm. Which is a new 4th level spell. Hey. And its range is 300 feet.
Maggie / Poppy:Damn. A hail of rock hard ice pounds into the ground in a 20 foot radius
Speaker 7:Mhmm.
Maggie / Poppy:On a 40 foot high cylinder. Each creature in the cylinder I'd like to think that her ice storm, ice crystals kinda look like purply blue crystals.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Maggie / Poppy:Like the ones that she has that she cast with.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay. And you said it was a save on their behalf?
Maggie / Poppy:Yep. So it's a dexterity saving throw.
Tim / GM:Oh, nat 20.
Maggie / Poppy:So 6 bludgeoning damage, 8 cold damage.
Tim / GM:Alright. After your, attention has, moved on from the Knoll Boss that was being demolished in that pit, you all look up and see this sort of, small creature on the horizon that is sort of disappearing out of your eyesight, and then all of a sudden you see this, haze of of purple crystals start to form, in the air above it and then start to pelt downwards. And, you see the gnoll take 1 in the head and gets knocked off its warg, and then it stands up and tries to walk away and gets knocked to the ground. And then you see it raise one hand in the air to try to keep crawling, and then it gets smashed by a giant crystal, and then it just lays down dead. Wow.
Maggie / Poppy:And then hailstones will be continue to be in effect until the end of my next turn, even though we killed everybody. Alright. Just for future reference.
Tim / GM:Yeah. So all of your assailants, are dead on the ground?
Speaker 7:Well, good work, cursebreakers.
Maggie / Poppy:And that's how you don't let them get away. And Holly is standing on the wagon with her hands on her hips.
John / Doran:Snack approaches too. Not so funny now, is it?
Speaker 5:Did we really have to kill them? I think they may have been nice if maybe they
Maggie / Poppy:Tibio, my dear, not everyone is nice, especially out in the wild.
Speaker 5:I just I just think that maybe we should have maybe I don't know. Maybe we could not keep them alive.
Speaker 6:Yeah. No. This this stuff kinda happens a lot around here.
John / Doran:Some creatures are just inherently evil. It's not worth taking chances.
Speaker 5:I don't believe that, but Do
Speaker 6:you wanna have, like, a burial service for them?
Maggie / Poppy:Well, we can bury them in this big hole that we have to now cover up to get our wagon around.
Speaker 5:Maybe. Yes. I think it would be good to give them a burial and I don't know.
John / Doran:Can we bring one back to life and interrogate
Speaker 5:it? I could. Why? Maybe they were sent by Joe.
Speaker 7:Uly, you kinda know the wildlife around here? Gnolls are pretty common. Right?
Speaker 6:Yeah. This is your typical fare when you get out here.
Speaker 5:Okay. Maybe they were not sent by joke.
Tim / GM:Tibio, you can also see getting close to some of these corpses. Gnolls, they tend to make fetishes of bones. So a lot of them have, like, bandoliers of, like, bones with small animals.
Tara / Journey:Okay.
Tim / GM:The way they do it, though, it's it's very, very savage and very disrespectful. A lot of the bones are broken. It's usually like trophy kills and things like that. Okay.
Speaker 7:And so
Tim / GM:it's like a bunch of, like, cracked skulls in their armor and things like that.
John / Doran:Wow. This is so cool. This is just like you, Tibio.
Speaker 5:Oh, this is not like me. It's Olasneck. Please step away. And I
Tara / Journey:get, closer to the bones and I try to get a feel for if any of them belong to people.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Some of them do for sure.
Tara / Journey:Okay. I gag a little bit, but I get closer. And I, like, try to get the ones that are people bones.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Tara / Journey:And I keep those separate. And then I say, okay. We can bury them now.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You you take this, like, leather, bracelet that is sort of framed by 2, finger bones that are definitely from one person.
Speaker 6:Is it people leather?
Tim / GM:No. The bracelet's probably stolen itself. Most of Noel possessions are just stolen people things.
Tara / Journey:I, yeah, I keep the bracelet intending to, I don't know, do some sort of ritual to cleanse it and then find that a burial as well.
Tim / GM:Okay. So, Uli, it's it's not gonna be long now until you guys are on the giant open gates of Hogwild with people just, like, whooping and hollering and drinking from 7 AM to to 2 AM every day. Yeah.
Speaker 6:Before we go in, this place is kind
John / Doran:of Awesome. Yeah. This is the best town we've been to.
Speaker 6:It's kinda like a constant party. My brother owns one of the taverns here, and it's it's a lot. If if that's what you're into, we can go I'm gonna disguise myself maybe for a little bit. I I don't I'm not ready to see anyone yet.
Speaker 5:But, Uli, isn't it better to rip off the bandage?
Maggie / Poppy:Uli, you knew this whole time you were coming back to your hometown, and I think to be was right. Deep down, you know it's time, and we're here to support you. So we'll be your disguise. You don't need an actual disguise. We'll protect you and make sure that if your family is being jerks, we'll get you out of there ASAP.
Speaker 6:Well, don't say I didn't warn you.
Speaker 7:Uli, even I had to wear a disguise when I was cursed in my hometown.
Speaker 6:I forgot
Maggie / Poppy:about And
Speaker 6:it was beautiful. Bertolli. Bertolli was a great disguise. I don't I don't know that my family would fall for that. I think I can handle it with you guys at my back.
Maggie / Poppy:Yes. Halia goes up for a high five with Uli.
Speaker 6:I begrudgingly give you a high five, but I don't see this going well.
Speaker 5:Maybe we need a code word.
John / Doran:Fire bomb.
Speaker 6:See? Okay. I like that, except I think I might be a little emotionally compromised, and I'm worried that I will accidentally cast 1 by saying it.
Speaker 5:What about something less dangerous, like pamplemousse?
Speaker 6:P pop papalmousse?
Speaker 5:That that is close. Yes.
Speaker 6:Okay. Yeah. I don't know what that is, but sure. Okay. Pamplemousse.
Speaker 6:Papa Papa Moose.
Maggie / Poppy:Papa Moose.
John / Doran:Uli, before we adventure further, you mentioned your brother owns a bar at this place, a pub. Yeah. What is it called? So we can avoid it.
Speaker 6:Yeah, he he owns a tavern called the Hare of the Hog.
John / Doran:Very clever name.
Speaker 7:Is this the same brother whose, brew we had back in Lamplight?
Speaker 6:Yeah. That's Benth. He's he's really good at that.
Tim / GM:Carl poofs back into existence and he says, what did I miss?
Speaker 6:Well,
Maggie / Poppy:there were a couple of explosions, a fireball, a couple Earth eruptions and some crystals that are melting.
Tim / GM:He looks at the destroyed ground where the erupting earth went off, and then he looks ahead at the destroyed ground where the hailstones have pelted. And he says, how are we getting through?
Maggie / Poppy:Well, just slow us down a little bit.
Speaker 6:Yeah. You can handle this.
Tim / GM:Looks at all the, like, churned dirt and stones and uneven ground, and he says, I'm not breaking a hoof over
John / Doran:this. Does this help? And I cast, create water and make, 30 gallons of water up here on the ground where it's all Yeah.
Tim / GM:So mud? You create, like, a mud pit, and he looks at you and he says, no.
John / Doran:I can't take it back that well. Mhmm.
Maggie / Poppy:Okay. Here's what we do. We need to shrink it down, shrinky bink. Carl, you can just pop away for a little bit. And, we bring it across.
Speaker 6:Will one of you, reduce it?
Maggie / Poppy:Yeah. I got this. Holly Cass reduce on the wagon.
Tim / GM:Mhmm. It, it's like a little child's train set.
Speaker 6:I pick it up Mhmm. And I dimension door.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 6:All the way across the terrain. Yeah.
Maggie / Poppy:Why are you dimension door in oh, she's gone.
Speaker 6:Because I'm not gonna walk across that. He made it a mud field.
John / Doran:It was nice. You're in the mud right now. Okay.
Tim / GM:So, yeah, Uli, you appear, well beyond the mud pit, well beyond the hailstones further down the road. And, where you reappear is near a crossroads. It's kind of the last feature that you remember seeing before it gets to Hogwild. If you take the offshoot road, it would lead to your parents' estate.
Speaker 6:Okay. So it's like a a 3 fork? Just 2. 2? No.
Speaker 6:I mean, like, it's a There's 3 total. Meat.
Tim / GM:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 6:Okay. I'm gonna set the cart down. What?
John / Doran:Nothing. I just
Maggie / Poppy:There is a total disconnect on what you guys were
Tim / GM:talking about
Speaker 7:for a
Speaker 6:second here.
Tim / GM:You could call it 3 roads.
Speaker 6:Yeah. We came up one road, and then it diverges twice.
Tara / Journey:But, usually, you don't talk about the road you're already on.
Speaker 6:But I'm standing on it.
Maggie / Poppy:It was just a Maggie's mind moment that we got to see in.
Tara / Journey:Okay, Robert Frost.
Speaker 7:Oh, fuck.
Tara / Journey:Maggie, is this a twerk or a thork? Thork. I'm sorry. Thrork. Freak.
Tara / Journey:Fork.
John / Doran:DM has left the table.
Tim / GM:The problem is I have to cut this because nobody is going to side with Maggie.
Speaker 7:Keep it in.
Speaker 6:I don't care. Someone on the Internet will side
Tim / GM:with me.
Speaker 7:Ridiculous perspective. Oh, god.
Speaker 6:Why do
Speaker 5:you dare
Speaker 7:cut this?
Speaker 6:I put it down and wait for it to enlarge itself. Yeah.
Speaker 7:Did we cross the hall now? Yes.
Tim / GM:You guys are all past it. No problem. Carl's back.
Speaker 6:Well, we go this way and not at all the other way.
Speaker 5:What is the other way?
Speaker 6:Not nothing important.
Maggie / Poppy:Okay. What about the sign that says, Ness esta estate?
Speaker 5:What does it say?
Maggie / Poppy:And Holly, like, moves some ivy from a sign on the side of the road and said, miss estate.
Speaker 6:Oh, you know, there's there's a lot of us out here. It could be anyone.
Maggie / Poppy:Oh, is that some of the extended family? Yeah. Also, estate. Fancy pants.
Speaker 6:Yeah. I hear it's okay. Alright. Let's go.
Tim / GM:You approach the, the typically wide open, wooden palisades of Hogwild, and you see that they're actually shut this time. And, you can hear from somewhere inside the town, this distant voice that's just, shouting to another. You can hear, one voice that's, calling most of the shahs. Not near the water tower. We gotta keep him down.
Tim / GM:Come on. Come on. Over here. Come on. Come on.
Tim / GM:And then you hear somebody else say, we've got them.
Speaker 6:Do they sound familiar?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Speaker 6:Okay. Are there like cracks in the palisades? Can I like look through?
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 6:Okay. I do that.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You, look through a little, gap, just big enough to form a little peephole, and you see your brother, Benth, run across your field of vision, chasing what looks like a Knoll down an alleyway.
Speaker 6:There's more Knowles, guys.
Maggie / Poppy:More gnolls? Inside? Why would they close them in?
Speaker 6:Well, I assume to keep more from getting in. I don't know.
Speaker 5:To keep them from escaping?
Speaker 7:Do we need to help?
Speaker 6:I mean, they probably got this.
Speaker 5:Well, we might as well. Maybe that is a good first impression is to help with our gnoll problem.
Maggie / Poppy:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do that.
Maggie / Poppy:How do we get in this place, though? The door's closed.
Speaker 7:Our greatest mystery yet.
Speaker 6:I would know that. Right?
Tim / GM:I mean, it's just like a big portcullis that opens like a garage door. Like, it doesn't go straight up.
Tara / Journey:It, like, folds upwards. Okay.
Speaker 6:I mean, usually, someone inside opens it, but we could try and push it up. I'll try to do that. I'll just, like, shove at it, see if it moves.
Tim / GM:So it would be a pull instead of a shove, actually. It it it opens outward.
Speaker 6:Damn it. I just I just pushed on the pull door
Speaker 5:in front
Speaker 6:of my family. Okay. Yeah. We might have to get someone to let us in.
Maggie / Poppy:So wait, Uli pushes the pull door and says, nope, it's stuck.
Speaker 7:Can someone, miss her step through there?
John / Doran:Well, Holly has experience with making doors small.
Speaker 6:I mean, let's not bother. We can just keep traveling.
Tara / Journey:I misty step.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You use that peephole to, like, see through the other side. And, when you get there, you can see, 2 half orcs, a little bit older than Uli each, are chasing a knoll down an alleyway. Neither of them have weapons.
Tim / GM:The knoll, seems to be quite scared.
Tara / Journey:Okay. I look around for the way to open the door.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You can see, like, a giant winch with a big rope.
Tara / Journey:Okay. I'm gonna make that go.
Tim / GM:Give me a, athletics.
John / Doran:Snack will fly over and attempt to help.
Speaker 5:19.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Tibio's got a pretty good handle on it actually, Snack. When you fly to the other side, you see, a little bit of sweat start to form on Tibia's head as he, single handedly, pulls the winch to draw the gate open.
Speaker 5:If you have the right lever
Tara / Journey:And I just am using bones.
Speaker 7:Yeah. You can see that,
Tim / GM:like, Tibio's using his bones as, like, stakes to, like, hold his position as he, like, moves forward. Yeah. Well done.
Speaker 5:Hello. Hello.
Tim / GM:The gate opens up, and Tibio locks it into place so that the rest of you can get inside. At that moment, you see, Barrett and Bent, run around the corner of this alleyway chasing a knoll, and Bent just picks up a rock and chucks it at the knoll as it's continuing to run out of there. You hear Bent just say, and stay out. And he looks up at you and he says, welcome to hogwash. Hey.
Speaker 7:Hey.
Speaker 6:I don't know where to put my arms, and I just
Tim / GM:No way. Hey.
Speaker 6:Welcome welcome home? No. That's stupid.
Speaker 7:No. That's perfect. Keep it in. Keep it in.
Tara / Journey:Welcome home,
Speaker 6:me. It it works for the flavor, I guess.
Tim / GM:It says, you came back for the reunion?
Speaker 6:Yep. Yep. That's why I'm here.
Tim / GM:After, what, 6, 8 years? How long has it been?
Speaker 6:It's been a while. Hi, Benth.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Hi. Hey, Barrett. Ollie.
Speaker 5:Sorry that we opened our door without permission, but no one answered, and we needed to come inside. Ben, we have had your air, and it was very good.
Tim / GM:He, walks towards you. You can see that Ben has a bit of, bit of attitude, bit of swagger. He jauntily moves towards YouTube and extends ahead and he says, now that's how you make an introduction. What brew did you have?
Speaker 5:I don't know at all.
Tim / GM:I'm sure it was gold no matter what it was. He, looks up at Barrett, and Barrett looks down and he says, skeleton. And Ben says, yeah. And he kind of, like, moves on to the next one. He says, alright.
Tim / GM:And a, what do we got here? Dragon?
John / Doran:Soon to be dragon. Yes.
Tim / GM:Dragon on the way. Not bad. And he gives you, like, a little punch on the shoulder. Looks up at, Holly and Bert, and he says, couple of normal looking folk. What are your
Speaker 7:names? Engelbert, f f Wisher Spoon, at your service.
Tim / GM:You got a little nice little mustache starting there.
Speaker 7:You should see it when it's fully grown. It's right here. And puts
John / Doran:it back in his lamp. What?
Tim / GM:And, ma'am, pleased to make your acquaintance.
Maggie / Poppy:Holly Hyacinth. Pleasure's mine.
Tim / GM:And Barrett says proper. Ben says, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright.
Tim / GM:Uli, is this your new
Speaker 6:friends? Yep. Friends? Adventuring companions?
Tim / GM:Adventuring companions.
Speaker 6:Yeah. So adventuring, Yes. Uli is a hero.
Speaker 5:She saved the city of Teletree.
Tim / GM:They look at each other and Barret says hero.
Speaker 6:I puff up my chest a little bit.
Speaker 7:It ain't no lie. You can read all about it right here.
Tim / GM:Barrett says, no.
Tara / Journey:We don't fucking read here.
Tim / GM:They say, well, I'm super glad that you all are here. Uli, I'm glad that you could make it. I'm glad that you felt like you wanted to bring your friends. It's it's good to have you. You know?
Tim / GM:I mean, mom still sets a place for you at the table every night. It's,
Speaker 5:aww.
Tara / Journey:Don't. That's so cute.
Tim / GM:But it's good to see that you'll finally be taking her up on it. The reunion actually isn't until tomorrow, so you're a little bit early. But that's probably for the better. We've had a really terrible time putting it all together.
Speaker 7:Thank God I thought he was gonna say it was Sunday. Yeah. No shit.
Tim / GM:I was like, it's in an hour. It's, probably a good thing that you guys showed up early. We need some help getting stuff together for this year's festival. These knolls have really given us a shitty couple of weeks here. We can't get anything together, any of the food, the decorations, nothing.
Tim / GM:They keep stealing everything.
Maggie / Poppy:Oh my gosh. We had to deal with some Knowles on the road here. They were just vicious.
Tim / GM:Hey. Thanks. That means we don't have to deal with them now.
Speaker 6:Yeah. It wasn't really that difficult.
Speaker 5:Just a question. Just to confirm, these are like a large worm and they are not like people. Right?
John / Doran:I don't understand the distinction you were saying, Tivi.
Speaker 5:Well, Snack, I was not asking you.
Tim / GM:Gnolls are, inherently evil. They're actually born from some pretty sick stuff. It's when these, hyen
Speaker 7:I don't know if we need to know about that.
Tara / Journey:Tibia was looking more and more distressed as as he's talking about it.
Tim / GM:Bear just says they've eaten human flesh. Oh. Ben says, yeah. That's the long and short of it.
Speaker 5:Okay. I guess then it is okay that we are putting them down. It is Oh. The best.
Tim / GM:Yeah. They kill and steal on the daily. Don't lose sleep over it.
Speaker 5:I guess.
Speaker 6:Timbs, I did tell you that.
Speaker 5:I know, but I just wanted just wanted to be sure.
Tim / GM:Well, anyway, we've had our fair share of, strange visitors recently, but, you guys are a welcome face. I'm hoping you can help us, get some things together, in the next day or so.
Speaker 7:Oh, like a scavenger hunt.
Tim / GM:Kind of. We need food. We need a big fire.
Tara / Journey:Fourteen parchment.
Speaker 6:You need to kill 30 gnolls.
Tara / Journey:And 18 quails.
Tim / GM:We need to put together a big party in a short amount of time.
Maggie / Poppy:Well, that sounds like a job for this adventuring party group.
Speaker 5:Yes. We are happy to help. We are we are invading your space, so it is the least we could do.
Maggie / Poppy:They don't call it a party for nothing, and then she nudges one of the brothers that are whoever is closest to her.
Tim / GM:It's it's Baron, and he says, yeah.
Maggie / Poppy:Holly winks at him.
Speaker 6:So He
Tim / GM:looks away from you and just stares at the floor.
Speaker 6:Do you think mom needs any help?
Tim / GM:You mean you didn't stop by to see her first?
Speaker 6:I kinda wanted to test the waters.
Tim / GM:He goes, oh, bad move. Bad move.
Speaker 6:Well, it's not like I've never heard her before. So
Speaker 5:This was the first place we came to. Was there another place we should have gone? Yeah.
Tim / GM:Our parents live pretty close to here and it's been a long time, like, a long time since Uly's seen our parents, and I know they'd like to. But, hey, you got tonight, you got tomorrow morning, you've got plenty of time. We just need some of you to help us prepare the food and to also play keep away with these gnolls.
Maggie / Poppy:Well, I'm an expert at brunch, but I can try to help with some of the other food.
Tim / GM:We can do brunch food.
John / Doran:I have expressed interest in slaughtering gnolls. Okay.
Tim / GM:We're gonna keep you at the front gate then. How's that sound? Yes. I feel like you and Barrett are gonna get along pretty well. Barrett says, That's not the only thing we gotta worry about.
Tim / GM:Things have been a little weird around here lately, and, local law enforcement has gotten really in the way. Just try to avoid them as best you can. It's that guy over there. And, he points over to an aarakocra, that is, leaning against a large timber, and kind of like side eyes all of you. It's wearing like a long duster, and it's got this big hat on that kinda covers its eyes.
Tim / GM:And then, you see its big talent feet, scrape into the dirt and start to walk towards you guys, and it's kicking up little plumes of dust as it gets closer.
Speaker 6:Does he side eye because he's a bird? Yes.
Speaker 7:Okay. Aarakopra.
Tim / GM:This aarakopra also has, these, like, spiked steel caps on the back of its talons that make this, like, clanging sound when it walks. And so you can see it, like, walking through the dirt, kicking up little plumes as it moves towards you with this, like, ching
John / Doran:ching ching.
Tim / GM:And, it's got this hat, low over its eyes, and then it looks up at each of you and says, new around here, ain't you?
Speaker 5:Yes. My name is Thibault Fermer. It is nice to meet you.
Tim / GM:It, lifts a, cigarette to its beak and takes a long drag, and then throws it on the ground and says, you can call me La.
Speaker 7:Is is that your name?
Tim / GM:It is indeed. And if you intend to get in Law's way, well, I recommend you don't.
Maggie / Poppy:We would never get in the law's way. Don't you worry. And then Holly, like, pushes the newspaper Bert was holding earlier just further down in his back.
Speaker 7:I I
Speaker 6:can tell I'm gonna have a problem with that guy.
Speaker 7:Well, I appreciate the imagery, sir.
Tim / GM:Beth leans over and says, most of the Nissas have a problem with that guy. Yeah. And, you can see Law, turn away from each of you, and he seems to be waiting for the wind to catch his duster. And when it does, he's like, alright. And then he walks away.
Tim / GM:And when he gets some distance, he just looks up in the air and goes, la. So anyway, you can see why we're having a rough go between getting our stuff stolen and having a constant stick in the mud within city limits. It's been tough. But, Uli, I think with you here and with your friends here, I think we can make a real party of it.
Speaker 6:Yeah. I'm you know me. My middle name is party.
Speaker 5:I did not do that. That is very nice.
Tim / GM:There's not really Her middle name is Clarissa.
Speaker 6:What? It's not. He's joking. It's definitely not
Speaker 5:noted.
Maggie / Poppy:Noted. Clarissa.
Speaker 6:Holy Clarissa ness. It's a family name. My dad's mom. I go by Uli for a reason.
Tara / Journey:Because it's your first name?
John / Doran:Oli, I am confused. Is it when you are done with your first name that you go to your second name then?
Maggie / Poppy:That's exactly how it works, Snack. I should might be almost done with her first name, so we better start calling her Clarissa.
Speaker 6:Please don't.
John / Doran:I see. It's probably time
Speaker 7:to start thinking about your middle name, Snack.
Speaker 6:Yeah. Do you have
John / Doran:Snack has much utility still.
Speaker 6:He already has it's the Snack the kobold.
John / Doran:It it yes. Exactly.
Maggie / Poppy:Well, I'm glad we solved that mystery.
Tara / Journey:It's him pleasuring us in.
John / Doran:Mister Nyss.
Tim / GM:Baron and Vanth both go. Mhmm.
John / Doran:I'm sorry, I may not be able to slaughter your gnolls today.
Tim / GM:Oh, Yeah. I mean, you guys have traveled a long way, right? It's Right. It's fine. Yeah.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Tim / GM:Take a load off. We can deal with the party prep tomorrow.
John / Doran:Of course.
Speaker 7:Bent, my good man, I'd be happy to know about some of the other strange visitors who have come into town lately. Any, merchant types, maybe hawking some magic items?
Tim / GM:Yeah. A little bit of that. We've actually got somebody in custody right now. Did you wanna talk to them?
Maggie / Poppy:Who is it?
Tim / GM:If law will allow it. They're being uncooperative.
Maggie / Poppy:Do you know their name?
Tim / GM:Yeah. They just said their name was Dave. Oh,
Speaker 6:shit. Dave is here.
Speaker 5:That's right. Dave is actually a friend of ours.
Tim / GM:Oh, do you know him?
Maggie / Poppy:Actually, the really good friend of Uli's, actually.
Speaker 6:No. No.
Speaker 5:He's, like, a grand, good
Speaker 6:friend of Uli.
Tara / Journey:Some of us
Speaker 7:know him very well. Yeah.
John / Doran:I believe Lee once had a tattoo with him. No. I didn't. That's Dave related.
Tara / Journey:No. Dave adjacent.
Speaker 5:If he got in trouble, it was because he was trying to find his brother.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He's been talking a lot about that. We didn't know what to make of it. We haven't seen another minotaur around here at all, but he seemed to be pretty damn certain that they were here.
Speaker 6:They probably wouldn't look like a Minotaur.
Tim / GM:That's why we were confused.
Speaker 7:Well, anyway, I yeah. Why don't we go talk to him?
Speaker 5:Yes. We can talk to Dave for you.
Speaker 6:Yes. You can you can talk to Dave for me.
Tim / GM:You'll have to get Law to go bring you back to the cells. Okay. Who approaches Law? He went back to leaning against the law.
Tara / Journey:I approach Law.
John / Doran:Okay. The snack follows closely behind.
Tim / GM:For some reason, whenever you get close to law, like, you can just hear, like, the wind blow and, like, dust kinda kick up. And just distantly.
Speaker 5:Oh. Law, Law.
Tim / GM:Law looks up at you, takes a cigarette out of his mouth and throws it on the ground, and he says, what do you all need?
Speaker 5:Hello, monsieur Law. I was hoping that I could talk to a prisoner that you have recently acquired by the name of, Dev.
Tim / GM:One of my top suspects. What do you want with him?
Speaker 5:We know him from, previous travels, and we think that we could help you get information out of him and clear his name of any wrongdoing.
Tim / GM:Sounds like a win win. Let's do it. And he, leads you back to these cells. Does the rest of the party catch up with you?
Speaker 7:Yes. Well, I can only speak for myself.
Speaker 5:I'll go.
Speaker 6:I'll go with
Tim / GM:He, leads you into this, like, long, narrow hall with a few, cells in there. You see a an emaciated knoll in one of them that just kind of like laughs as you walk by, And you go down a few empty cells and then see Dave at the end, who is, sitting just, like, cross legged in, like, a sun sunspot in the middle of the cell.
Speaker 7:And
Tim / GM:he opens one eye from his meditation, looks at you, and he says, about time I saw some reason.
Speaker 5:Dave. How are you?
Tim / GM:I'm doing okay. I've been treated better. And he stares up at Law, and Law, like, pretends like he wasn't looking.
Speaker 5:Why are you in a cell?
Tim / GM:I may have gotten a little boisterous about wanting to see my brother and being certain that he was here, but he's not.
Speaker 5:Yes. We've also been trailing him and Joe.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I've, noticed a, steady stream of cursed items and foul happenings on the way out here.
Speaker 5:Yes. We, we managed to remove the curses from some of these items as we were going. But, yes, we are still tracking them as well because we would like to remove those curses.
Tim / GM:Good. Any sign of Joe for you?
Speaker 5:Only we only found that he was heading east and that led us here.
Speaker 7:Well, there is the assassin too.
Speaker 5:Oh, yes.
Tim / GM:An assassin?
Speaker 5:He attacked Snack.
Speaker 7:It was a Snack attack.
Tim / GM:Not a very good one, it seems. Yes.
John / Doran:They always happen at the middle of the night too.
Tim / GM:I'm glad to see you're all still alive and that you're willing to help. First order of business. He looks up at law. Can I please get out of this cell? And law says, I've got it on good authority that you're not bad people, but you mind my words.
Tim / GM:I got my eye on you, cowboy.
Speaker 6:Oh. Oh my god. Rude.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Unlocks the cell, makes a rusty creak as he opens it up, and Dave steps out. He says, sweet freedom, and, walks outside with all of you.
Speaker 6:I pulled Dave off to the side. Oh, ow. Shut up, Holly.
Maggie / Poppy:Okay. Everyone, this way. Leave them alone. Holly ushers everyone away. Hey, Dave.
Tim / GM:So I don't know. How are you? Go
Speaker 6:ahead. Yeah. I'm I'm I'm good. You're
Speaker 7:Yeah.
Speaker 6:You look fine.
Tim / GM:Thanks.
Speaker 6:So Oh, me? No. I just I have something to say.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 6:My entire family lives in this town, and I was hoping you would not talk about all of this. Just don't don't make it weird for me, please.
Tim / GM:Oh, I I understand that would be weird for you. I'll, I won't keep to myself.
Speaker 6:No. No. You don't. You can interact. Just
Tim / GM:Julie, I'm an adult. It it's fine.
Speaker 6:I just haven't I haven't seen them in a long time, and I don't I didn't expect to be here, and I'd I'm not really He
Tim / GM:puts an arm on your shoulder and he says, Uli, you you deal with your family however you need to. You just this, and he gestures between the 2 of you. He's like, we'll deal with this later.
Speaker 6:Thanks, Dave. You're good people.
Tim / GM:You can see in his eyes that he's, like, thinking about leaning in for a kiss.
Speaker 6:I punch him on the arm in a friendly and brotherly manner.
Tim / GM:Good. Good. Yep.
Speaker 6:I'll see you around. You're welcome to come to the reunion party tomorrow. It's the whole the whole time. Just don't say anything weird. Okay?
Speaker 6:Yeah. I feel like you can meet everyone.
Tim / GM:One thing is the the, the festival. Right? Wild out? It's gonna be great.
Speaker 6:Wild wild out. I haven't been to one of these in a while, but I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun.
Tim / GM:Yeah. It's gonna be wild.
Speaker 6:Yep. They tend to be.
Tara / Journey:By definition.
Speaker 6:Thanks for being understanding. Alright. See you.
Tim / GM:He's, like, still trying to formulate a response when you walk away.
Tara / Journey:As we're leaving, I wanna stop by law.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 5:I appreciate your time and your effort, monsieur law, and I hope that we can be a further assistance to you in, keeping this wonderful town safe.
Tim / GM:You know a bird's eyes are 20 times stronger than a regular person's eyes.
Speaker 5:I did know that.
Tim / GM:I can see those bones under your robes.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Yes?
Tim / GM:I know that you're a skeleton man.
Speaker 5:I I mean, it is
Tara / Journey:not a secret, and I open up my trench cloak a little bit and show him that I
Tim / GM:His eyes get even wider and he goes. Not a secret. Well, I've never seen nothing like that.
Speaker 5:Oh, I that is surprising. There are so many raven and ravenkin near my home, I think.
Tim / GM:Hey. I ain't no raven.
Speaker 5:Oh, I apologize. I did not mean to offend.
John / Doran:What is he, though?
Speaker 6:What kind of bird is he? I'm I was thinking he's an eagle.
Tara / Journey:Is he a cardinal?
Speaker 6:A cardinal?
John / Doran:I was thinking hawk, but,
Tim / GM:yeah, I kinda like hawk. Some sort. Or something.
Speaker 6:Okay. Then we have to retcon when I asked if the eyes were on the side of his head, because if he's a bird of prey, they'd be at the front.
John / Doran:That's right. Mhmm.
Tara / Journey:I don't think anybody's gonna be like, excuse fucking me. He's a cop. Yeah.
Speaker 7:He is a hostage. Do you expect me to believe that this bird of prey, aarakocra, has eyes on the side of his head?
Speaker 6:Actually, I can't cast Chalking Grasp for us.
Maggie / Poppy:Yeah. Like Geez. We like
Tara / Journey:our semantics when we like them. Yes.
Maggie / Poppy:And no one else can tell us differently, not even Tim.
John / Doran:Tibby, are you done speaking with Alaa? Because I want a turn.
Tim / GM:Both of you make a perception check.
Tara / Journey:8. 17.
Tim / GM:Timmyo, you can tell that as soon as Snack turns around and walks away from Law, that Law locks his vision on Snack and starts moving his head on a gimbal, and just like stares straight at Snack and gets like really tense. And you can tell that he is going into like predatory mode when he sees Snack's tail.
Tara / Journey:I step into his line of sight.
Tim / GM:He blinks hard and looks at you, and he says, what?
Speaker 5:Are you okay?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I just it's following the clues. I mean, I got excited. Never mind. Don't tell anybody.
Tim / GM:And he, like, walks away.
Maggie / Poppy:Alright. Are we gonna get to this family
Speaker 6:Yes, please. Meetings?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Are you going to the Niss Homestead?
Speaker 6:I I feel like I should.
Tim / GM:Okay. You approach the NISS household.
Speaker 7:Alright. Uli, are are you ready for this? This is a big moment for you.
Speaker 6:Not at all.
Tim / GM:You all approach a, it is a 2 story building. It is quite wide, sprawling, well kept. Approaching it is a long dirt road that have these evenly spaced trees and a big huge front lawn. It's it's still what you would call quaint in terms of its, Material? Yeah.
Tim / GM:Its material, its overall appearance, and build. It doesn't try to make a big deal out of itself, but it is a large home for a large family. And, it looks like it's got somebody around the house who, likes to, keep up with restorations and also make a fun and hospitable atmosphere. There's like a, like, a tire swing out front and, like, some nice signage for, like, the NIS, like, family home. Cool.
Tim / GM:And these kinds of things.
Maggie / Poppy:Oh, question. Is this more in the forest, or is it like
Tim / GM:In the forest.
Maggie / Poppy:Okay. I wasn't sure if it was
Tim / GM:like in Hogwild at all.
Speaker 6:I walk up to the front door, and I knock on it. And then I wipe my sweaty palms on my legs.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Coming around the side of the house is, Viri. She's carrying 2 huge buckets of water. And then when she sees you, she drops both of them and, like, sprints towards you and gives you a big hug. And at that very moment, the front door opens, and, you see your, mother and father standing right next to each other.
Tim / GM:And, your father just like gives this huge smirk, and your mother, like, noiselessly pours herself over you and just hugs you and doesn't let go of you.
Speaker 6:Aw. I pat her on the back and I say, hey, mama.
Tim / GM:And, the rest of you can see from behind, Uli's father, a human, is, smirking in the door frame. Uli's mother, an orc, is wrapping her arms around Uli, and you can see her veins, like, flexing out as she squeezes Uli as hard as she can.
Speaker 6:Hey. I let let up here breathe, mom.
Tim / GM:Let her go, dear. And, Uli's father reaches forward and gives her a hug and kind of pries Uli's mom away from her. And then you hear from deeper inside the house. Well, look who it is. Fuck.
Tim / GM:And, parting mama and papa is a much larger, much taller, much more scarred and tattooed half orc that says, little sister. He leans towards you, grabs you by the wrist, and yanks you in before you've had a moment to even understand what's going on. But, Door is giving you the most competitive hug you've ever felt.
Speaker 6:And I hug back as tight as I can.
Speaker 7:Okay. Counter hug.
Tim / GM:Roll a contested grapple check.
Speaker 6:I rolled I got I got a 6.
Tim / GM:Dora is sitting on a 16. So he, like, holds you tight and he's like, what's wrong?
Speaker 6:Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. You win.
Tim / GM:What, can't break out?
Speaker 6:You know I can't.
Tim / GM:Come on.
Speaker 6:Thor, please.
Tim / GM:Little magic girl, you got this.
Speaker 6:I'm, like, trying to kidney punch him.
Speaker 5:Uli, he did say that you are a magic girl, why don't you use magic?
Tim / GM:He, looks at the rest of you and he says, oh, here it comes.
Speaker 6:I enlarge myself.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. You break his grapple almost immediately as he can't, restrain the growth of your frame.
Speaker 6:And then I put him in a headlock because I'm so much bigger now.
Tim / GM:You wanna go inside or outside? Because you're in the door frame.
Speaker 6:Outside. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You take him outside onto the porch and then out and then out onto the front lawn, and you've got him in a headlock. You are now, you know, twice his size. And, he's just going,
Speaker 7:okay. Okay. Okay.
Speaker 6:Doesn't feel so good, does it?
Tim / GM:Make a contested grapple check again, except you've got advantage this time.
Speaker 6:Okay. A natural twenty.
Tim / GM:Damn. Okay. So he does this move where he, like, runs forward, like, trying to get momentum into his legs. And then he's trying to, like, flip backwards and take you with him. But you're so much bigger than he is.
Speaker 6:I just lower my center of gravity.
Tim / GM:Yeah. So when he kicks his legs up, you just send him straight to the ground, and everybody just sees this big plume of dirt go out underneath him. And he goes
Speaker 6:I would like to drop the enlarge and just, like, kneel one knee onto his chest.
Tim / GM:Okay. And he says, yep. You got it.
Speaker 6:Don't think you can win so easily now.
Tim / GM:Make a 3rd contested grapple check. Another natural twenty. Damn.
Maggie / Poppy:Fuck. Yes. Okay.
Speaker 7:So he he But Marty's dead. He
Maggie / Poppy:I just
Speaker 7:never have
Speaker 5:rolled a
Speaker 6:crit this entire campaign and, like, when it matters most to my character.
Speaker 7:Yeah. Oh,
Tim / GM:yeah. So he is, like, laying on the ground with your knee on his chest, and he holds up a hand to be like, hey. Help me up. It's over now.
Maggie / Poppy:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:And then as soon as you grab his hand, he yanks you and tries to, like, judo you back onto the ground, but you see it coming from a mile away. Mhmm.
Speaker 7:What do
Tim / GM:you do to him?
Speaker 6:I, like, somehow twist his arm behind his back and, like, shove his face into the dirt.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. So he just, like, pulls on you, and, you just sort of take his arm, under your arm and shove his face into the dirt. And he goes, what spell is that?
Speaker 6:I don't need a spell to beat you. Not anymore. Stop underestimating me. And then I get off of him, and I walk back into the house.
Tim / GM:Your mom follows you into the house, and you all just hear, welcome home. And, Uli's father looks out at the rest of you and says, welcome home.
