Cursebreaker | 27 - Don't Go Chasing Eye Bowls
Last time on Cursebreaker. We finished our time in Tildrey with a barbecue at the guild house ruins and a funeral service for Veronica Venus. On our way out of town, we realized we were going to need supplies. The party purchased a luxurious travel wagon, employing a summoned centaur named Carl, and Snack purchased a withering nearly dead donkey whom he named Bide. When we got back on the road, we stumbled on a trail of cursed items.
Tim / GM:To top it all off, as we made camp for the 1st night, the gold dragon appeared to snack as a humble traveler and encouraged his recent behavior. Isn't encouraging snacks supposed to be my job?
Speaker 2:I like jealous Genie.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's
Tim / GM:only gonna get worse. I'm gonna kill that fucking dragon.
Hannah / Eryn:That should be the end of that, intro. I'm gonna kill that.
Tim / GM:You know what? Fuck that guy. It's the morning after, snack was visited by the golden dragon for the second time. You aren't too far out of Tildrey. It's breakfast time before you all get going.
Tim / GM:Today is your first full day of travel.
Hannah / Eryn:I love the morning. I love breakfast. Holly's, like, singing and cooking. The sun just came over, peaked over the horizon, and she is banging around with pots and pans and singing really loud. And there's little birds chirping around her hair and her shoulder.
Hannah / Eryn:Like, one lands on her shoulder. And then the chameleon from her other shoulder tries to, like, eat it and, like, attack it with its tongue.
Thomas / Guy:She's even got a morning song.
Speaker 3:God. Is every day on the road going to be like this?
Hannah / Eryn:Every day is a beautiful day. Who wants pancakes?
Thomas / Guy:What's for okay. Pancakes. Pancakes.
Speaker 2:Prime cakes.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, flips a pancake up in Bert's direction. No plate. Just in the air. Alright. He's rolling.
Hannah / Eryn:Rolling for this. Oh.
Tim / GM:Plus he does.
Thomas / Guy:Who's fry in the morning, 17.
Tim / GM:Oh, wow. Yeah. So how do you catch a pancake without a plate?
Thomas / Guy:I stick out my, quill and catch it right in the middle.
Tim / GM:Sure. And just kinda spin it around on
Thomas / Guy:there. Perfect.
Speaker 2:Holly, Coffee. Oh, yep.
Hannah / Eryn:I got a big pot right here. And she pulls up the pot and it's like
Tara / Journey:I
Hannah / Eryn:ticked the entire pot. It's like steaming, like
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Hannah / Eryn:Careful. It's
Speaker 3:hot. Oh.
Tim / GM:Oh, god. Drinking
Hannah / Eryn:boiling coffee?
Speaker 3:It'll cool in my stomach.
Thomas / Guy:Do you
Hannah / Eryn:want a pancake? Yes. Holly flips Uly's pancake really high, just straight up in the air.
Speaker 2:Let's call that a 15.
Tim / GM:You caught the pancake right on your face.
Speaker 2:In my mouth.
Tim / GM:You catch it on your face, and then you just do a sharp inhale and the pancake disappears.
Hannah / Eryn:That's one way to do it. Has anyone seen snack? I can't, where is that little guy? I got some bacon here for him and, Holly pulls another pan out of nowhere and it's just got sizzling bacon on it.
Speaker 7:Alright. You lift up the pan and Snackett was holding on to one end of it. You kind of pick him up off the ground, and he falls.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, there you are. Yes. I made this for you.
Speaker 7:Thank you.
Thomas / Guy:I knew the bacon would summon him.
Speaker 7:Bidet is not eating well.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, dear. We have to fix that.
Thomas / Guy:Yes. What do, donkeys eat?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I'm not sure. I've never had a steed. We can ask Carl. Do car do do Carls eat do Carls do Carls eat the same things as bidets?
Tim / GM:Bidet turns to your snack and says, I'll eat most anything just as long as you crumble it up.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, that's right.
Tim / GM:I can't open my mouth more than more than this. See here?
Speaker 7:That's as far
Tim / GM:as wide as I can open it.
Speaker 7:I see bidet. I take some bacon and I shred it in my talons, like, and then, I could sprinkle it onto his tongue.
Thomas / Guy:That's a lucky donkey.
Tim / GM:You also noticed at this time that bidet has an extremely long tongue. And, just kind of, licks all the crumbs off of your fingers.
Speaker 7:Wonderful. Bidei, if you are to be my cohort, you must be strong and capable.
Tim / GM:I got bad news.
Thomas / Guy:What? I
Tim / GM:don't think I'm either of those things.
Speaker 7:Not yet. B'Day soon.
Tara / Journey:Is the donkey a small beast? Yeah. Then I can understand also. Oh.
Tim / GM:Bidei sees that you're, like, paying attention to Thibio and looks at you and says, can he hear us?
Speaker 7:I sincerely doubt it.
Tim / GM:Good. If you can get me one of his bones and crumble it up, that'd be nice. Crazy. Wanna eat one of them bones.
Speaker 7:I will do this for you. Really? Of course.
Tim / GM:Can I pick a bone? Yes. I want that big one. It points to his, like, shin bone.
Speaker 7:How does he point? With his tongue. Okay.
Tim / GM:Tibia, you see bidet turn to you and go stick out their tongue as long as I can.
Tara / Journey:Can I take, the file that I have for doing, like
Tim / GM:Yeah? Your bone spurs.
Tara / Journey:Bone spa day. I shave off a tiny piece like a
Tim / GM:paper thin. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:A long piece of shin bone. And I hand it to I walk over and I hand it to snack and I say,
Speaker 3:you would only have to ask. I would be happy to help with whatever. I hope that you, feel better soon, sir, bidet.
Tim / GM:Bidet looks up at Usenac and says, may I? Of course.
Speaker 7:It appears Tibio did understand.
Tim / GM:Nice guy.
Speaker 7:Yes. He is quite nice.
Tim / GM:And it just starts eating. Yay.
Speaker 7:Snack tries some too.
Tim / GM:Oh. Pretty dry. Okay.
Thomas / Guy:I'll stick with the pancakes. Thank you.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly finishes cooking, breakfast. And she says, alright. Now that we're all up and ready to go, it looks like we, really didn't unpack much last night, which I guess makes it easier for us today. But if everyone can just start picking up their stuff, load up the wagon, we gotta get on the road.
Thomas / Guy:Alright.
Speaker 7:B'Day, fetch my belongings and put them back into the cot.
Tim / GM:Here we go. And, bidet starts ambling around the campsite. You all get your stuff back together, get your tents packed away nicely, and head back out on the road. Around lunchtime or so, maybe a little after that day in the afternoon, you come across a small outpost. It's a little trading post at a at a crossroads.
Tim / GM:The name of the trading post is
Tara / Journey:Cross post.
Tim / GM:Cross post. You see that there is somebody inside, but that the sign on the door says it's closed. And, when they see you, they look at you through a window on the front door, and, they they just look kind of anxious.
Thomas / Guy:How we doing on the spot? Is anyone need anything?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, do we know which direction we're taking here at this crossroads?
Speaker 3:Well, aren't we headed to Uggwild?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Unfortunately.
Speaker 3:Do you know which way we should be going?
Tim / GM:The roads, diverge, but both look like they're still continuing eastward. It's hard to say which one is right.
Thomas / Guy:Are there any signs?
Tim / GM:There are there are not signs here.
Tara / Journey:Okay.
Speaker 7:Well, there
Thomas / Guy:seems to be a fella in this cross post.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Maybe we should ask him. I gotta be honest. I haven't been to Hog Wild in probably 6 years. I don't I don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:Is the person inside hostile towards us?
Tim / GM:You don't know that yet.
Hannah / Eryn:Can I try to cast friends on them?
Tim / GM:So, yeah. You, Holly, go up to the door and there's, like, a big glass pane on the door and you can see them behind the counter. They almost look like they were gonna go hide in the back room when they saw you, but it's too late and so they look back and stare at you.
Hannah / Eryn:Hello. Hello there. And Holly, as she's waving at the person, is it what does the person look like?
Tim / GM:They've got, like side parted medium length, black hair and green eyes, and they're quite skinny.
Hannah / Eryn:The human?
Tim / GM:It's a human, pale with a sharp jawbone. And they anxiously kind of come up and unlock the door and open it up and they say,
Speaker 8:can I help you with something?
Hannah / Eryn:Hello there. I'm Holly Hyacinth. Pleasure to meet you. And Holly holds out her hand to, shake the person's hand and at the same time cast friends on this person. And On myself too, Charisma, this person.
Tim / GM:Yeah. They say, yeah. Yeah. Hi. And they, like, shake your hand really quick.
Hannah / Eryn:What's your name?
Speaker 8:Toby.
Hannah / Eryn:Toby?
Tim / GM:My name my name is Toby Goshman. What's your name?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly Hyacinth, like I said. Pleasure to meet you, Toby. Would you just happen to know which road we should take to get to Hogwild from here?
Tim / GM:Oh, yeah. Take the one that veers north on your left. Okay. Thanks.
Hannah / Eryn:Which one on the left again? Sorry. I don't know. Is that direction good enough?
Tim / GM:He he steps out of the door for a second, and then he, like, points, exactly at the road that you need to take. And he says, okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Great. Thank you so much for your help. Is is everything okay? You seem a little worried.
Tim / GM:He looks back inside and you all hear a noise from inside. And he goes,
Speaker 2:yeah. I I just I yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Do you need help? Nod once. You need help.
Speaker 8:It's not like that. I
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. You can trust me.
Speaker 8:Say, you guys don't need any inexpensive magic items, do you?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, dear. Vibe check.
Speaker 2:That's a big number. 3020.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You look back into that room, you see on the counter there are a couple goods covered with a canvas. It's pretty clear to you based on his stress and the recent events, that he probably has some cursed items.
Thomas / Guy:Where perchance did you come by these magical items, mister Toby?
Speaker 8:I did kind of a bulk deal, the other day. Somebody came through in a caravan and
Hannah / Eryn:Was there a beetle?
Tim / GM:A beetle?
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Never mind.
Thomas / Guy:Was there a dark haired woman?
Speaker 8:Yeah. She did most of the talking. There was somebody else back in the caravan, but they just seemed anxious to get moving.
Speaker 7:Oh, Toby. Toby. Toby. Toby. Toby.
Tim / GM:I regret telling you my name.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. We'd be interested in checking out these items. Definitely.
Speaker 8:Great. That's great. Why don't you all come in? Like I said, pretty inexpensive.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Listen. I cast friends on myself to make me myself seem more charismatic. It's gonna wear off in about 10 seconds. I just wanna let you know you really don't have to be angry at me.
Hannah / Eryn:I truly wanna be your friend.
Tim / GM:You have violated my trust.
Speaker 8:What
Tim / GM:do you mean you cast friends? Oh, oh, oh. Well, come in anyway. He goes to the other side of the counter, peels back the universal canvas, and, you see a small collection of goods. You see, a bell that looks actually familiar.
Tim / GM:There is a, silver circlet and a whistle.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Don't touch them. Have you touched them, Toby?
Tim / GM:Oh, have I touched them?
Tara / Journey:Okay. I would like to do a curse and dark magic check.
Tim / GM:Yes. You are getting weak curses off all these things.
Speaker 3:I can see that these items are in fact cursed.
Tim / GM:I thought that was the case.
Speaker 3:Would you be interested in having those curses removed?
Tim / GM:If you can, yeah. I've I've just been selling them off as cheap as I can.
Speaker 3:Have you sold some cursed items?
Tim / GM:Yeah. These are the only ones I couldn't get rid of.
Speaker 3:Oh, no. How many cursed items did you sell?
Tim / GM:I mean, I bought, like, 10 of them. Oh, boy.
Thomas / Guy:Any chance you, kept some receipts?
Tim / GM:Not so much. Like I said, it was a caravan. Right? With that dark haired woman. Should be able to find her.
Tim / GM:Right?
Speaker 3:So, wait, she has some of the cursed items that you sold?
Tim / GM:No. No. No. She sold them to me.
Speaker 2:Right. But who did you sell them to?
Tim / GM:Oh, just other people like you, travelers, passerby's.
Thomas / Guy:Was there a sword among them?
Tim / GM:No. I didn't sell any swords. It was all just, like, Tinder boxes and things like
Speaker 7:that. Could I buy this one? And Snack is holding up the whistle? Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, Snack. Don't touch don't touch them. Oh, Snack.
Speaker 7:Why not? What does it do?
Tim / GM:Two coppers for that one.
Speaker 7:2 I don't even keep those. Here's a gold piece.
Thomas / Guy:How are you even making a profit?
Tim / GM:I'm not. I'm taking a bath here. I just want these out.
Speaker 3:Okay. Okay. We must remove these curses. Do you want us to purchase these items and take them? Or would you like them to be uncursed so that you can sell them?
Speaker 8:I want them to be not here.
Hannah / Eryn:Great. Let's take the curses off before anyone else messes around with them. Snack, put that back.
Speaker 7:What is it, though? Snack, when you go to
Tim / GM:speak, it's just a high pitched shrill, like
Speaker 7:Snack in my voice? Yep.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Oh my god. Okay.
Speaker 7:I toss the whistle across the room. What does this sorcery have got?
Speaker 3:Should we each take one item and uncurl some? Let's do it. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:I check out the bell, and I slap the first circle on my chest.
Tim / GM:Okay. TVO goes glowy white. You've got the bell in front of you. You feel that cold rush, and you are fused with the weave.
Tara / Journey:So this time around, I don't feel the need to announce every step because I feel like I'm a good solid curse breaker at this point. I'm feeling very comfortable after decursing that sword.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Thomas / Guy:So
Tara / Journey:I then press the second circle immediately and then do my Kamehameha Okay. Double hand.
Tim / GM:What did you do with the bell? Did you leave it on the counter?
Tara / Journey:Yeah. I just left it where it was.
Tim / GM:Okay. So you see that whole counter kind of disenchant, and then you do your, force beam
Thomas / Guy:Mhmm.
Speaker 8:In
Tim / GM:the house? Yeah. So that's 10 d 10.
Hannah / Eryn:So wait. The whistle, you threw it on the ground, Snack?
Speaker 7:Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly goes over and picks it up while Tibio is uncursing the items on the counter.
Tim / GM:Sure.
Hannah / Eryn:And Holly just leaves it on the ground and tries to do her first curse in the corner where no one can see her because she's, like, a little
Tim / GM:Self conscious.
Hannah / Eryn:Like, okay. 1st, I need to
Speaker 3:do this.
Hannah / Eryn:So she touches the ring on the inside of her left arm.
Tim / GM:Tibio's, like, in the middle of doing his and then you all like, everybody looks over and sees Holly ignite on the other side of the room.
Hannah / Eryn:Then disenchant number 2 and then give it everything you've got. And Holly, just, points all her fingers like a witch casting a spell at the curses. Sure.
Thomas / Guy:So
Speaker 2:As she was doing that, I was, like, miming her from behind because I still haven't done one yet.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, on my own anyway. Yeah. So I'm, like, catching up, but I'm not actually doing it because they've got it covered.
Tim / GM:Sure.
Thomas / Guy:I lean over to Toby and I say, this is all standard curse breaking stuff. No need to worry.
Tim / GM:How much is this gonna cost me?
Thomas / Guy:We'll worry about that later.
Hannah / Eryn:Maybe a night stay because we're gonna be spent after this.
Tim / GM:He's like, this is not an inn.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, we can sleep in the backyard. 53.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:I also got 53. Woah.
Speaker 7:Twinsies.
Tim / GM:Tibio, you do your, razor thin Kamehameha beam and holly, from each of your fingers sprouts a tiny thin little line and you just eradicate the bell on the ground. Tibia, you realize pretty quickly that the the bell was not a very tough object, and so the beam cuts through it pretty quick. What do you do with the rest of that beam?
Tara / Journey:I aim it at the circlet.
Tim / GM:Okay. What do you do after the circlet?
Tara / Journey:Oh, gosh.
Thomas / Guy:I'm gonna open a window.
Tara / Journey:I I realized that I've still got some juice, and, I say,
Speaker 3:I don't know if there is any other curse nearby, but I'm not quite done, and I have nothing else to aim at. I don't know what to do. Can someone help me?
Tim / GM:I'll say it runs out about the time you finish that sentence. And, Oh. So you've you've destroyed both objects, and then there's just this big, like, s pattern on the counter that's just weaving back and forth as you tried to decide what
Thomas / Guy:to do. Oh, like the coolest?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Makes it as
Tara / Journey:a super s on the counter. Yeah. No.
Tim / GM:And,
Tara / Journey:It's more like I was peeing while I was walking.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Holly's got a similar mark on the floor in the corner, where, she had kind
Hannah / Eryn:of Whoops.
Tim / GM:Dragged these little lines across the floor, perpendicular to the floorboards.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. Note to self, do the cars breaking outside.
Tim / GM:I think what you take away from this is that that beam is a real thing and it can do real harm to real things. It's not just a special magic laser. Toby. Yeah.
Speaker 7:I must take inventory of your home to see if there are any other whistles.
Tim / GM:You mean like my home?
Speaker 7:Yes. This is where you live, is it not?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I promise I don't have any other cursed items.
Speaker 7:They all say that, Toby. And Snack walks away staring at him and is going to investigate the rest of the outpost.
Hannah / Eryn:The cross post?
Speaker 7:Yeah.
Speaker 2:No. My sentiment plans.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He
Speaker 7:does not stop you. Okay. 10.
Tim / GM:You find, the slightly disappointing evidence of a bachelor lifestyle.
Hannah / Eryn:Poor Toby.
Tim / GM:No cursed items. No real magical items back here beyond, like, you know, a a lighter that never quits. Snack eats cheat.
Speaker 7:Snack eats, some leftover ramen. Comes back out. Toby, I do hope you find more reasons to live.
Hannah / Eryn:Wow, snacks. That's too far.
Thomas / Guy:Toby, I I need you to tell me everything you can anything you can remember about the people you sold these items to.
Tim / GM:Okay. Well, I told them I would take as much as I could, and they were, like I said, selling them at an unbeatable price. So it was just the woman in here and
Speaker 3:the No. No. No. Who you sold objects to.
Tim / GM:Oh.
Thomas / Guy:Maybe you have it written on a piece of paper so you don't have to say it out loud. Tibio.
Speaker 3:Yes. Yes, Nick.
Speaker 7:Tibio. Oh, is it not a crime to sell cursed items in these parts?
Speaker 3:Snack, I am not a law officer everywhere we go.
Speaker 7:But you advised the boat.
Speaker 3:That was a very specific circumstance and a lot of play acting.
Speaker 7:I do not know this lawyer speak, Tibeo.
Speaker 3:Hold on. Mister Toby Gushman, sending cursed items is a very questionable act, sir.
Tim / GM:I didn't know they were cursed right away.
Speaker 3:Definitely knew they were cursed.
Speaker 8:I mean, I did figure
Tim / GM:it out eventually. But what?
Speaker 8:You want me to take on 10 curses? You're crazy.
Speaker 3:No. We want you to act responsibly and tell us who you sold them to so that we can find them and prevent them from harm.
Tim / GM:One of them I sold to a young half orc female. She said she was on her way to hog wild. Fuck.
Thomas / Guy:That's why
Speaker 7:I one to start with.
Speaker 2:Which one of my sisters?
Thomas / Guy:Well, what item? Do you remember?
Speaker 3:Tim, you thought we weren't gonna follow-up on this shit?
Thomas / Guy:Again, if it was all written down, we wouldn't have to discuss this out loud.
Tim / GM:Oh, shit. I've got it right here, a receipt of all these things.
Thomas / Guy:So that's what I'm looking for. His receipt
Hannah / Eryn:is just little pictures of the people and the items that he gave.
Tim / GM:He's a talented artist.
Tara / Journey:A shot of like a photograph of them and then like
Tim / GM:He draws thumbnail sketches of everyone that purchases something. Yeah. He hands you a little receipt, detailing, we'll say, 3 things that he sold, that he remembers. One was a cursed teddy bear that went to a full grown man.
Thomas / Guy:Great.
Tim / GM:He sold a cursed rope and the one that went to the young half orc was
Hannah / Eryn:A teacup.
Tim / GM:Nope.
Hannah / Eryn:A rabbit's foot.
Tim / GM:Flask.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm giving you good ideas here, and
Speaker 3:you're just throwing them out the window.
Thomas / Guy:Thanks, Toby. This is a great place to start.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright. So in the future, when you get presented with cursed items, what are you gonna do? Do
Thomas / Guy:not sell them.
Speaker 3:Do not buy them and do not sell them.
Speaker 8:I didn't know they were cursed when I bought them.
Hannah / Eryn:What you should do is buy as many you can, and then send a message to Tildry for the curse breakers.
Tim / GM:To get reimbursed? Or
Hannah / Eryn:Yep. And we'll take care of the curses. Do not sell them.
Tim / GM:That's great.
Thomas / Guy:It's quite a slick operation.
Speaker 3:And you
Hannah / Eryn:said you paid 2 copper for these, snack?
Speaker 8:No. I paid
Hannah / Eryn:Gave them a gold already.
Speaker 8:I paid 15 25
Tim / GM:gold for all these.
Hannah / Eryn:Yep. So snack already paid you. Your gold your 1 gold.
Tim / GM:I said 25, I paid for these.
Hannah / Eryn:You said 2 copper.
Speaker 3:We prevented you from getting cursed.
Thomas / Guy:They used all their spell slots.
Speaker 7:Toby and Snake pulls out his, knife.
Tim / GM:Well
Speaker 7:How many of these did you sell after you knew they were cursed?
Tim / GM:Just the last few.
Speaker 7:I mean, you sold 3 total in the last few.
Hannah / Eryn:A snack. We're trying to educate here, not threaten. So, Toby
Speaker 7:I love threatening though.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. Yes. Yes.
Thomas / Guy:Toby's mistake could turn him into a valuable ally. Right, Toby?
Tim / GM:Sure. How do you mean?
Speaker 3:If you are one that reaches out to Tiltri with cursed objects, you will be known in Tiltri as a as a person of honor.
Tim / GM:Oh, and then I'm a good guy,
Speaker 3:And you will get more business that way.
Tim / GM:More business.
Hannah / Eryn:And lovers love good guys.
Tim / GM:Alright. I'm sold.
Thomas / Guy:I'm always saying that.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright, Toby. You know what to do next time. Right?
Tim / GM:Yep. Buy them and sell them to curse breakers that profit.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. Holly shrugs and heads out the door.
Tim / GM:You hear the little jingle of the door as you all depart from there? It's a few hours later when, you all decide it's meal time, kind of a midday break. Describe to me the area that you decide to take a break in.
Speaker 3:We, we stumble upon a stream
Thomas / Guy:Streams are good.
Tara / Journey:As we're going along, and we take the opportunity to kinda wash up and rest a little bit after our curse breaking.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, had walked next to bidet, and she is like, snack.
Speaker 7:What?
Hannah / Eryn:Your donkey really smells bad.
Speaker 7:What do you want me to do about it?
Hannah / Eryn:What if we tried to wash him up a little bit in the stream over here? I have a little soap. Holly pulls a little piece of, just like super basic soap out of her pocket that she uses for washing, her clothes.
Speaker 7:Snack flinches at first.
Tim / GM:Breast detestation.
Speaker 7:I can help with this, Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Will will it go in the water?
Speaker 7:Bede. Mhmm. I command you to go into this stream.
Tim / GM:I'm afraid that if you wash me, I'm just gonna wash down to nothing. I don't think there's anything underneath.
Speaker 7:Well, you must work on your self esteem, bidet. That will come later.
Tim / GM:Here I go to disappear in the river's depths, and bidet, walks out into the water.
Hannah / Eryn:How deep is it?
Tim / GM:It's like belly deep on a donkey. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly hikes up her skirt and ties it in a knot, so it's up around her thighs. And then she wades out into the water and her little bloomers that she has underneath her skirt get wet. And, she's like, alright, Snack, get in here. And she starts lathering up the donkey on his back and, like, scrubbing them.
Speaker 7:Snack moves into the stream and, rubs, the donkey like how Holly's doing it Mhmm. And watches very closely.
Hannah / Eryn:Here. Have a little soap. And, Holly kind of slices off a little piece for a snack to hold in his hand.
Speaker 7:Right. I try to feed it to bidet. Bidet eats it. No. He's clean on the inside now.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, my God. Snack. That's can't be good for him. Snack, you could use a little bit of this too. Not to eat, please.
Hannah / Eryn:Just, like, wash yourself.
Speaker 7:Like the loin cloth.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. But on your body.
Speaker 7:I see. I, slip into the water and submerge myself, hop back up, and, breathe a little flame into my hand, holding the soap to melt it, and then rub it on me.
Hannah / Eryn:Nice. Like an oil bath.
Tim / GM:Hot oil bath.
Speaker 2:And now he's just, like, slimy. Yeah.
Tim / GM:You guys realize that snack is actually like a brilliant crimson red, almost like a ruby color, and it's got like a goldish belly, but he always just looked like rust, like head to toe until now?
Speaker 7:Yep. Wow. You see a dozen fish dead, like, 10 feet downstream.
Tim / GM:You see this, like, blood red wake underneath him. Yeah. So, Holly, snack and bidet have a little spa day in the stream. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:Arcane recovery?
Tim / GM:Oh, yeah.
Tara / Journey:I take this opportunity to recover 8 spell slot numbers, not spell slots, but
Tim / GM:Yeah. Eight levels. Yeah.
Speaker 7:Cool. Wow.
Tim / GM:Just after you hear a couple footsteps, that takes your attention, Uli and Bert, and Tibia, I suppose it. You hear a couple footsteps in the dirt, somebody coming around the bend, and then you hear, who's that? Washing their ass in the river. And, you see us a trio of people come around the bend and they say, hello there.
Speaker 2:Hey, we got company.
Thomas / Guy:Travelers. That
Tim / GM:person, like, turns back to the group and say, we've got company. A person farther back in the group says, I think this is as good as place as any. Let's have lunch, shall we? In the front you have this, high elf, male wearing like a half plate situation. And then behind him you have a tall, thin, high elf woman, wearing a, like, straight up wizard hat, like, pointy cap.
Tim / GM:And then, between them is a, sturdy, kindly looking dwarf.
Thomas / Guy:You're welcome to join us sirs and madames.
Tim / GM:Yes. We've got some fairly good luncheon to share around. How about it?
Speaker 3:My name is Thubio Vamer, and these are my companions, and we would be happy to share a meal with you and exchange stories.
Tim / GM:Very formal. Great. Yeah. Let's do it.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, kind of embarrassingly, like, steps out of the river and, like, puts her skirts down and, like, she's like, hello.
Tim / GM:Yeah. It's just like like Holly's out washing a donkey in the river. The other adventuring party, is is pretty quick on their feet with these kinds of processes. So the dwarf reaches into their pack and grabs a preassembled bundle of kindling and throws it on the ground and starts arranging it. And then the, elf woman just snaps her fingers and starts a little fire, and, they get their pots set up to start cooking.
Hannah / Eryn:What are your, names?
Tim / GM:I didn't think of that before we got here.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Holly Hyacinth. Pleasure to meet you. Sorry I'm in such disarray and Holly is, like, fixing her hair and putting everything back into place.
Tara / Journey:I scooch over to Holly and I say,
Speaker 3:would you like me to kiss prestigitation?
Hannah / Eryn:Sure.
Tara / Journey:And I just do, like, a quick zoop.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly then casts prestigitation on the donkey a little, like, zoop, zoop. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You see, Holly, it looks like there's one tiny little gust against you, and you're just, like, suddenly clean and dry. And then you do the same thing to the donkey. And, like, the donkey's, like, like, little tuft on its head curls around all
Speaker 3:my spirits.
Hannah / Eryn:Snack's just left wet.
Speaker 7:What is this poison you give to my eyeballs, Holly?
Hannah / Eryn:What?
Thomas / Guy:It's called soap snack.
Tim / GM:Did you
Speaker 2:put soap in your eyes?
Speaker 7:Rubbing his eyes frantically. I hate this.
Hannah / Eryn:You're not supposed to put it in your eyes, snack.
Speaker 7:My eyes could've been dirty.
Speaker 2:I I drag him back over to the river, and I'm, like, trying to rinse his eyes out. Snack, you don't you don't burn
Speaker 7:your eyeballs. Patty will pay for the slight.
Tim / GM:Anyway, I've had some time to think about it. And, my name is Amaranth.
Hannah / Eryn:Amaranth. Hey. Pleasure to meet you.
Tim / GM:And this is my cohort Born, and, points to the dwarf, and Megan. Sorry.
Hannah / Eryn:Born Megan.
Tim / GM:Born now and says, nice to meet you.
Hannah / Eryn:Nice to meet you as well.
Thomas / Guy:Is there a silent j in there perhaps, born?
Speaker 2:I went with At the very end.
Tara / Journey:I went with b o u r n e.
Thomas / Guy:He's given an ultimatum. He he
Tim / GM:looks up at you and says, just born.
Hannah / Eryn:That's a good dark voice.
Thomas / Guy:You look older than that. Just kidding.
Tim / GM:He just gives you, like, this huge, like, ruby cheek smile. Meghan says, what'll it be for lunch then?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, we have some dried jerky and some travel cakes. And, we did eat the rest of the bacon this morning, unfortunately. So
Tim / GM:Amaranth looks back at his crew and says, how about, fresh diced chicken in a bread bowl with wild rice soup and fruit?
Speaker 3:Yes. Hell, yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. Yeah. That sounds great.
Speaker 3:That would be wonderful.
Tim / GM:Do we think that's something we can do, Barne? And Barne says, I can do. And, they, get to work on lunch. It seems they've been at this a little bit longer than you guys
Hannah / Eryn:have. You guys are professional travelers, aren't
Tim / GM:you? We've, been around the proverbial block a few times, and, he's like taking off his backpack and some of his armor and getting a little more comfortable and, you see him take a couple steps and a rope falls off of his pack. It tangles itself around his legs and he falls over and he goes, damn this thing. And, both of his cohorts just burst out laughing. And, Megan says, he bought this cursed rope a couple days ago and we've been meaning to get
Speaker 7:rid of it. But it's just so funny
Speaker 8:to watch him futz with it.
Speaker 3:We passed by the, cross post where you purchased that.
Tim / GM:Oh. So you know about that. We were going to sell it back or, you know, give it back. However we could.
Speaker 3:Actually, if you would prefer, maybe we could uncurse it for you.
Tim / GM:They look between each other's shrug and say, that would save us
Speaker 8:a few minutes. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:I'll take a crack at this one. Just a standard remove curse spell, I think.
Tim / GM:Amaranth grabs the rope, and he holds it like he is trying to contain like a python. And he's just like got his grip on it really hard, and he sets it in the sand, and he says, be careful with that thing. It's scary.
Thomas / Guy:Alright. I reluctantly reach over, touch the rope, and cast that spell.
Tim / GM:As you do so, the the rope the end of the rope starts flailing in the air and then flops over like belly side up, like a very dramatically dying snake.
Thomas / Guy:Got it.
Tim / GM:And, you can tell, Tibio that the curse is no more within the rope.
Speaker 2:No more. Good job, Bert. That was really difficult, I bet.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Boy, I'm exhausted. Ready for that food, though.
Tim / GM:Good job, Bert, indeed. We won't charge you for lunch. How's that? Deal.
Hannah / Eryn:That seems fair. Where did you guys come from?
Tim / GM:We were out to the southeast a little bit, just doing some exploring. We had heard about some, ruins near the edge of the, fern glade there. Right? Where the the fae tend to take control. We were trying to steal out some treasures, but, no dice.
Thomas / Guy:Well, sorry it didn't work out for you, but it worked out great for us.
Hannah / Eryn:The fern blade? Is that isn't that where you're from, Tibia?
Speaker 3:I don't know that there is any buried treasure in the the southeast of that area. I don't recall any treasure.
Tim / GM:We were actually trying to get across to the Feywild. I see. You're not Fey, are you?
Speaker 3:No. No. And my clan does not go that way. People come back strange when they go out there.
Tim / GM:It got a little darker than I was expecting, a little faster than I was expecting. And Megan says, yeah, it was, pretty bad. I mean, we've had worse. Remember that cave with that Emery guy? And they all just laugh for a little while.
Tim / GM:Did you
Speaker 2:say Emery?
Tim / GM:The dwarf says, Emery did not know his feet from his face.
Thomas / Guy:This sounds like a story I have to hear.
Tim / GM:They, sit down over lunch and they dish out the bread bowls and wild rice and he says, we formed this party. Right? We took on a man named Emery Gray, a paladin type. Just sword and shield all day long. Just as this, just as that.
Tim / GM:Anyway, we thought he'd be a good frontliner. So we went into this cave expecting goblins and, well, we found goblins. Sure. Lots of them. But, I don't even want to Megan kind of butts in and says, all of their eyes were missing.
Tim / GM:All of them.
Speaker 2:Yikes. Sorry. As they're telling this, I'd like to look for the ring.
Tim / GM:Oh, okay. Yeah. You can see it like east northeast, like, pretty much right around Hog Wild.
Speaker 2:Okay. Fuck. Okay. Yeah.
Tim / GM:So we expected to just go in there, you know, guns blazing, if that meant anything.
Thomas / Guy:I like that.
Hannah / Eryn:Swords ablazing.
Tim / GM:Yeah. We meant to go in there swords ablaze. But the goblins were fearful and and strange and wicked with these sulking chasms for eyes. I just hate thinking about it. I mean, we had the good sense to turn around and leave, but Emory ain't no.
Speaker 7:Did you find the eyeballs?
Tim / GM:We did. They were in a bucket.
Hannah / Eryn:A bucket? Ugh.
Tim / GM:Gross. They were in a bowl, towards the end of the cave. Cave. We didn't want to go much deeper than that, but Emery did. He came out alive a little bit later on.
Tim / GM:He was carrying the body of a dead boy who had gone in there before. That's who we were meant to save, but he was long gone. His eyes were missing too.
Speaker 3:So sad.
Thomas / Guy:Anything else, change about Emery?
Tim / GM:We actually don't exactly know what became of Emery. We heard that he, you know, found the corpse of the boy and took kind of a dark turn, but we actually and then Amaranth butts in again and says, we lost him at the cave. Let's just leave it at that. We didn't see him after that day.
Thomas / Guy:Fair enough. He, seems like a real character.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I wasn't about to follow him into that eyeball pit. To how long ago
Thomas / Guy:was this that this happened?
Tim / GM:Just over a month and a half, something like that.
Speaker 2:He's probably alive.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. I wish
Thomas / Guy:see that face.
Tara / Journey:She'd be very serious. Tibia is, trying really hard not to Tibia is trying really hard to look casual and is not sure what to do with all 4 of his arms
Hannah / Eryn:and is looking
Tara / Journey:around and not making any contact with anybody.
Speaker 7:Tibio, you stumble upon what snack is doing, and that's, making, a visage of a bucket full of eyeballs. Did it look like this?
Speaker 2:How are you doing this?
Speaker 3:Snack, that is disgusting. Please do not. Also, it was a bowl, not a bucket.
Speaker 7:Oh, you're right. And I snap my fingers and make it into a bowl. And here's Emery, and then he does a image of Emery, like, spot on.
Tim / GM:The other party goes, hey, that's pretty good. Like, suspiciously good.
Thomas / Guy:Snack's got quite an imagination, doesn't he?
Tim / GM:Yes. He even got the curls right. Look at that. Little blonde curls.
Speaker 7:Were you in love with this man?
Thomas / Guy:No. Well, actually, fair is fair. We ran into the Samori character ourselves down in Lamplight.
Tim / GM:Small world. How was he?
Thomas / Guy:He sucked.
Speaker 3:He would he had clearly been through some things and was not his best.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Was he still spouting this and that about his deity every other word? No. Oh. Well, he wouldn't shut up about it when he was with us.
Tim / GM:Honestly, couldn't get a word out of him that wasn't about his faith.
Speaker 3:What, what was his deity?
Tim / GM:Il mater, Il mater, and some deity of endurance or something. It's old church stuff.
Thomas / Guy:I wonder if he didn't find, new interest since then.
Hannah / Eryn:Or he lost interest because of what happened to his friend in the cave.
Thomas / Guy:I suppose that could drive anyone to, lose the faith as it were.
Tim / GM:Well, that's what happens when you go chasing bowls of eyeballs into a deep dark cave.
Thomas / Guy:Remember that snack.
Hannah / Eryn:Preach. Go chase and eyeballs.
Tim / GM:Yeah. The conversation doesn't get, much more interesting than that. It kind of fades from there. You all finish your meal, and they, are sort of packing up. Is there anything you wanted to say as they depart?
Hannah / Eryn:Hey. You seem like a cool witch. Here's my card. And Holly hands Megan, one of her Holly's cop cards that says, run by a cool witch. And, it says, the photo.
Hannah / Eryn:Did you just make notes? Yep.
Thomas / Guy:Does prestidigitation make business cards?
Tim / GM:Yes. I'll say yes.
Thomas / Guy:I'll give that to prestidigitation.
Tim / GM:It can make a business card.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly just wants to try to stay in contact with Meghan because she's like, anytime you can network with another witch, we gotta support each other.
Tim / GM:She hands you this, small stone. It's got like a kind of a little white line through it. She says, this is a pretty rock that I found on the shore here by the stream. I want you to have it.
Hannah / Eryn:Thank you?
Tim / GM:Good. Alright. Goodbye.
Hannah / Eryn:Wait. What's your magic school? And she's running it's like they're walking away. Always, like, sad.
Tim / GM:She turns back and says, illusion, and the rock disappears.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh. That was so cool.
Tim / GM:That night, it gets very late before you can all find a hospitable campsite. In fact, you don't find a hospitable campsite among all the rocks and low ravines here. It's just it's either muddy or too stony to really be comfortable.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly takes off her skirt and ties it to 2 trees, and it becomes a hammock. Magic.
Tim / GM:Holly, just as you finish setting up your hammock, you all notice a small village, not too far from where you are.
Speaker 2:She spitefully stays in the hammock.
Hannah / Eryn:No. Holly takes it down and snaps her skirt back on. And it's somehow connected again to her full dress. I can't tell it's sideways.
Tim / GM:Seamless. You walk, 5 minutes away to this, tiny, tiny, tiny village with this thick stone wall around it. A sign hanging off the front archway says, small castle.
Hannah / Eryn:Have you been here before, Uli?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I've never stayed. It's always been a pass through. It's pretty small.
Thomas / Guy:Well, let's see if they're friendly.
Hannah / Eryn:Is there even an inn in this town?
Thomas / Guy:There's gotta be an inn.
Tim / GM:There's like a a front gate which is open that you can all, kind of walk through. You see this place has an inn, it has a church, and that's it. When you look at the inn you see this kind of like picturesque 4 pane glass window with a soft yellow light coming from inside and, a faint smell of of fire smoke and some kind of savory soup from inside. When you open the door you're greeted by some dry warm air and a, dwarf standing on our bar stool behind the main counter, that is playing some kind of, version of solitaire.
Thomas / Guy:Hello there. Might you have a room or 2 for some weary travelers?
Tim / GM:He over, on the counter for some glasses and puts them on and looks up at all of you and says, welcome. Guests. Oh my. And he gets off his stool and he like comes out from behind the bar and greets you all out front. He's got a little towel on his arm and he says, welcome welcome welcome.
Tim / GM:Welcome to the kingdom. And he points up at a sign, and it says, the kingdom.
Tara / Journey:Cute.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm imagining him as, like, the smallest dwarf I've ever seen.
Tim / GM:Like He he is actually pretty small for a dwarf, closer to, to Bert's size.
Tara / Journey:Tibio is very impressed by his excitement, the source excitement. Mhmm. And he looks around and he says,
Speaker 3:if if this is the kingdom, does that make you the king?
Tim / GM:I suppose I am a king, but, not of much.
Speaker 8:Just this.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, that seems pretty nice.
Tim / GM:Gestures to the hearth and to the table. Says from here to here.
Speaker 3:It's Gwynedd Kingdom.
Tim / GM:Have you all eaten dinner?
Hannah / Eryn:No. No.
Tim / GM:Let me get you fixed up.
Hannah / Eryn:Perfect.
Tim / GM:Just be a moment. I suppose you're all staying.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. We'll, take a couple of rooms?
Tim / GM:It's gonna be a silver and a half for each of you.
Speaker 2:That's really cheap.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. You go get the food, we'll give you your money.
Tim / GM:He kind of messes around in the kitchen for a while, is gone for 20 minutes or so, and then he begins to bring out some stone bowls and, sets them on the table in front of you. Like one at a time kind of thing. Like smiling at each of you as he does and, like he'll like look down its neck's like shiny scales and he's like, oh, nice. And then he like walks by Uli and sees all the tattoos and says, very, very nice work.
Speaker 2:Thanks.
Tim / GM:Moves by Tim and says, so pristine, gesturing at the bones. And, walks up to near Holly and says, did you make this yourself?
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Sees the cover on Bert's book and says, incredible penmanship. Was this you?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, it was.
Tim / GM:He, comes out with a giant vat of soup and begins pouring for each of you and he says, would you be at all, discomforted if I ate with you?
Speaker 2:Can I vibe check him
Thomas / Guy:Sure? Please?
Speaker 2:I I preemptively rolled because I wanted to do this, and it is 19.
Tim / GM:He he seems good through and through. He's given you no reason to, believe any ulterior motive. Although, he does seem kinder than almost anyone you've met so far.
Speaker 2:Aw.
Thomas / Guy:Almost too good
Tim / GM:to be true.
Tara / Journey:Tibeo says,
Speaker 3:oh, no. I don't see any issue. Please sit with us. We would love to hear your story.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, do you have any food that a donkey would like to eat? A really old one that needs help chewing.
Speaker 3:Very small guts.
Tim / GM:I've got just the thing. And he, runs back to the kitchen and he comes out with salt and pepper shakers. And he sets them on the table and he says, I forgot the salt and pepper. But this is for the donkey. And he gets an old piece of bread and he begins to crumble it into like tiny croutons and hands over a plate.
Hannah / Eryn:Snack, can you
Speaker 7:Of course. Is there a donkey room in this inn?
Tim / GM:There's a hitching post outside. That's about as much as I can do for you. Or, I suppose the donkey could stay in your room. Yes, thank you.
Thomas / Guy:It's our room.
Tim / GM:Let me get away from this donkey first.
Speaker 7:Freshly cleaned inside and out.
Tim / GM:I'll take your word for it.
Tara / Journey:Oh, no.
Tim / GM:He grinds a little bit of pepper into his soup and begins eating and says, so?
Thomas / Guy:I don't think we got your name, friend.
Tim / GM:Oh, sorry. Humble Dundas, good to meet you.
Speaker 3:Humble Dundas. Dundas.
Hannah / Eryn:No relation to Mumble Dundas.
Tim / GM:How do you know Mumble?
Tara / Journey:I hold up my hand, my skeleton hand, and I have Mumble's skeletal finger.
Tim / GM:Aye, Tiamat's grave. Is that my brother's bones?
Hannah / Eryn:It's not what it looks like. Don't worry. It was Tibio, can you explain?
Speaker 7:He died on our behalf. Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:No. Snack, you're out feeding the donkey.
Speaker 3:Monsieur, his majesty King Mumble Dundas was was cursed.
Tim / GM:King Mumble Dundas, always with the ruling.
Speaker 3:He was cursed and he was, undead but kept alive by this curse, and we freed him.
Tim / GM:Undead? He didn't deserve that.
Speaker 3:We freed him, and he loved this as a gift. Aye. And it is still imbued with his gingly essence.
Tim / GM:Yes, Ed. He, reaches out to touch your hand, and then he pulls back his arm and says, I don't know how much I want a gingly essence. I like my kingdom the way it is.
Hannah / Eryn:So your brother,
Tim / GM:Hey. Sounds like he, had a good run.
Thomas / Guy:He, he died a noble warrior and a fine man.
Speaker 3:He faced the dragon with great courage.
Tim / GM:A dragon?
Speaker 3:A skeletal dragon.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Not bad. Right?
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. That's a pretty good story.
Thomas / Guy:There's more where that came from.
Speaker 7:You should listen to it on our podcast. Blinking, darling. W
Hannah / Eryn:dot. So when's the last time you saw your brother?
Tim / GM:Oh, a 100 years or so. He went to rule under the mountain and
Thomas / Guy:And you set up your own kingdom here. Hey.
Speaker 3:Well, if you are half the man he was, then we are happy to know you.
Tim / GM:About 2 thirds, and he kinda gestures to
Speaker 2:his face.
Tara / Journey:Tibio thinks that's fucking hilarious. He loses shit. He's just, like, like, laughing and crying.
Speaker 2:And rattling his butt.
Tara / Journey:All of his moves are just like, come on. Alright.
Thomas / Guy:Note to self, Tibio likes math jokes.
Tara / Journey:It's very niche.
Tim / GM:You're all kind of enjoying this, comedic moment, and then you see a man and a young boy descending the stairs. And the young boy is holding a teddy bear and, the man says heading to the church now. And he says, hi, good. Okay. Good.
Tim / GM:Yep.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, excuse me, sir. May we stop you for a moment on your way out?
Tim / GM:He pretends not to hear you.
Speaker 3:Excuse me, little boy. Hello?
Tim / GM:The the boy turns around and looks at you.
Speaker 3:Did you happen to, get that teddy bear recently?
Speaker 8:That was from my dad.
Speaker 3:Is it is it new?
Tim / GM:You hear, Come come out. It's time time to go to church.
Thomas / Guy:Sarah, we think your son may be in danger.
Tara / Journey:Why he's
Hannah / Eryn:going to church in the middle of the night?
Speaker 7:I
Hannah / Eryn:think your, teddy bear is cursed, sir. Can I check for
Tim / GM:Yeah? Go ahead.
Hannah / Eryn:Curse?
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Speaker 3:13.
Tim / GM:Yes. There's something wrong with the teddy bear.
Tara / Journey:Okay.
Speaker 3:Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but the bear, it is cursed.
Hannah / Eryn:Did you pick up that bear at cross post train post?
Tim / GM:Yep. Yes. I I did.
Speaker 3:Don't worry. The proprietor was, selling cursed objects. He did not intend harm, but we are in search of all the objects that he sold.
Tim / GM:Are you saying you can take this off of us?
Speaker 3:Yes, sir.
Tim / GM:He looks down at, his son and he hands up the teddy bear and they throw it across the room at you guys. Who catches it?
Speaker 2:I guess me.
Tim / GM:Okay. Make a dexterity check there.
Speaker 3:12.
Hannah / Eryn:I'll
Tim / GM:say you catch it, but it's also got some soup on it.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. This is why I don't like kids.
Thomas / Guy:How are you feeling, Uli?
Tim / GM:Uli, you are feeling like you've got a countdown timer working against you now.
Speaker 2:How much time?
Tim / GM:Like a minute or less.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Don't I don't feel great. Do
Hannah / Eryn:the steps.
Speaker 2:I tap the first circle.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Wait. I go outside. Hey. We learned
Hannah / Eryn:something. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I put it on the ground, and I I go, bathe the bathe the curse.
Tim / GM:You go glowy white and prismatic.
Speaker 2:Disenchant.
Tim / GM:You see the color fade away from around the teddy bear.
Speaker 2:Give it all you got.
Tim / GM:And, just as you wind up for the last part of this, you see the teddy bear start to take on your characteristics. You see its skin go kind of smooth and a pale gray green and it gets white hair on top and you see your arms are getting fuzzy and hairy and your fingers are starting to grow into claws.
Speaker 2:Give it all, you guys. I'm becoming a bear.
Tim / GM:Your head turns into a bare head and, there's a white laser beam coming out of your mouth as you scream down at this teddy bear thing. Cool. And, yeah. You will likewise incinerate that thing, leaving a long scar on the ground. And the boy is standing in the threshold of the inn just clapping his hands and staring at you.
Tara / Journey:Is she still a bear? Am I still a bear?
Tim / GM:You're turning back into Okay. You got halfway to bear from, like, the waist up, and now you're, like, changing back.
Speaker 2:I'm just a little stuffed. That that was very weird.
Tim / GM:You hear a bell go off at the church, and the father just says, oh, that was for us. Nobody out after midnight on account of the curse that you just got rid of. So thank you.
Speaker 2:Oh, no problem.
Speaker 3:Nicely done, Uli. That was very good.
Tim / GM:Humble says, you're definitely singing for free tonight, all of you.
Hannah / Eryn:Aw. You don't need to do that, Humble.
Tim / GM:That's the biggest crisis we've had here in 100 years.
Thomas / Guy:I think I'm gonna like it here.
Speaker 2:Midnight bear curse.
Hannah / Eryn:Your food is really good. Thank you so much for dinner.
Speaker 8:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Tim / GM:Sorry. I was reading ahead and I could not formulate a
Speaker 2:response. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. I know. You cook the same fucking soup every night for a 100 years. It's pretty good, Holly.
Tara / Journey:Okay. Bedtime long rest. I need
Speaker 3:to stop using it upon my fucking spell block. Gonna
Tara / Journey:do that.
Tim / GM:A day of clearing multiple curses out on the road. You all get a well deserved long rest at this inn. Nothing tragic or scary happens and you wake up feeling perfectly refreshed.
Speaker 2:What's the catch?
Tim / GM:The catch doesn't come until, 2 days later. During your travels, towards the evening again, you're moving out of the forested territory. You're onto the sort of windy stony plains now. It's a little less protected, a little less secure. You are all, you assume you'll get to Hogwild tomorrow.
Tim / GM:You've all stopped to rest for the night and, snack has taken up watch. Again, the first watch.
Tara / Journey:I've also sent out my squirrel.
Tim / GM:Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, is going to, while everyone's kind of just whiting down for the night, take out Sal and puts him on a on a little piece of rock, jetting out of the ground.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Hannah / Eryn:Says, hi, Sal. How you doing?
Tim / GM:Sal bristles and does that long cat stretch where they lift the middle part of their back and, starts walking among some of the tall grass here and says, it's beautiful out here. How have you been, Holly Hyacinth?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, a lot's been happening. Court trials, overthrown judges, traveling.
Speaker 3:We're curse breakers now.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, yeah. We're curse breakers now.
Tim / GM:Curse breakers. Most interesting. I knew a curse maker once.
Hannah / Eryn:Really? As Sal freezes, Holly picks him up again and puts him on a different rack and lets go and says, hello, Sal.
Tim / GM:Yes. This field.
Hannah / Eryn:So you were saying that you knew some curse makers once.
Tim / GM:Indeed I did. Curse makers and curse peddlers.
Hannah / Eryn:Who were they?
Tim / GM:Well, I spent a great many years with a man named Joe. I guess you could say he was my papa.
Hannah / Eryn:Elixir man Joe?
Tim / GM:He did make a great many elixirs. A talented
Hannah / Eryn:I'm learning so much from this guy. Are you seeing this Tibio? You seeing this shit?
Speaker 3:Sal, you know Joe the elixir salesman Joe McMinnen?
Hannah / Eryn:Hold on. He's he's asleep again. Let me, and Holly touches him again to wake him up.
Tim / GM:Good evening, everyone. Uh-huh. Holly, how are you? And I don't believe we've met yet.
Speaker 3:Oh, hello. My name is, and, I'm a friend of Holly Hyacinth and, Bert.
Tim / GM:Inglebird Wisher Spoon, my old friend. How are you?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, hey. Y'all talking to Sal? Sal, what's up pal?
Tim / GM:Not much. I was just catching up with some old friends and meeting,
Hannah / Eryn:Alright.
Speaker 7:Snack flies over and pets him and keeps petting him and gives a sour look to everyone. I'm trying to sleep. My watch is coming up.
Tim / GM:You hear this intense purring, as as Sal continues on. What is it we were talking about?
Speaker 3:Yes. Sal, we were talking about how you know, Joe McMillan?
Tim / GM:Yes. Poor Joe.
Speaker 3:Can you tell us about
Tim / GM:him? He was a thinker. He's a maker of things. He's a talented alchemist. A bit overconfident.
Thomas / Guy:What are your feelings, Sal, on these things he was thinking and making?
Tim / GM:Well, I never knew exactly what it was for. I'd only see a few moments at a time, as things are. Sure. Sure. But he would speak with me, bounce ideas off of me.
Hannah / Eryn:Do you ever remember, him talking to you about vampires?
Tim / GM:Yes. That was quite a breakthrough, securing vampire blood for his recipe. Very hard to come by.
Hannah / Eryn:How did he come by it?
Tim / GM:He made a contact in Vindorm.
Hannah / Eryn:Do you know who?
Tim / GM:Never did get a name, but a vampire himself. I can't help but wonder if it was his own blood.
Hannah / Eryn:Is Joe vampire self?
Tim / GM:No. I don't think vampires like cats.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, you're not a real cat. Are you?
Tim / GM:How am I different?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, you just are a little more fragile. You don't always land on your feet, let's say.
Speaker 7:Did Joe curse you and make you this way, Sal?
Tim / GM:No. Joe found me like this. And I'm not cursed. I'm just different.
Speaker 3:Can you tell us more about Joe and what he was planning?
Tim / GM:I knew that he had made an elixir that could, influence people. That's what he always wanted.
Hannah / Eryn:To have control over people?
Tim / GM:To be in agreement with others. To not be on the outside. He frequently spoke to me about how he wished people understood.
Speaker 3:What was he trying to make them understand?
Tim / GM:That things could be better if everyone just got along.
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm. One of those types. Well, Sal, is there anything we can do to make the journey better for you?
Tim / GM:I like to see places, Holly Hyacinth. The more you can take me out, the more I'd be able to appreciate of this world. Who knows when I'll never come back. You understand?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. That's an awful thought, Sal.
Tim / GM:Best not to think about it, Engelbert Wisher Spoon.
Hannah / Eryn:We'll put you back for now. But I'll remember to bring you out more in the future.
Tim / GM:Let me get in a comfy position before I go, and it curls up into a
Hannah / Eryn:donut. It's cute. Polly puts it back in her pack.
Tim / GM:So, yeah, that's, that's kind of the early evening, and then snack goes on watch a little later. And, snack in the middle of the night. You see a figure, walking towards your, tiny campfire that's just sort of smoldering there.
Speaker 7:Snack scurries behind the, wagon and hides behind one of the wheels.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Between the spokes, you can see a, earth genasi. You can see some of their skin looks like little stony scales on their shoulders. They're otherwise shirtless.
Tim / GM:They're, walking close to your campsite and kind of like looking around to see if they can see anyone. And then they, start to, like, move on a little bit. And then they, like, look at the wagon. They don't go in it, they just kinda like look around it and you can see they're
Speaker 7:very close to you now. What happened to your skin creature?
Tim / GM:This thing, like, takes a couple steps back from you and says,
Speaker 9:Oh, I apologize. I,
Speaker 7:Coming to steal our belongings?
Speaker 9:No. I I was looking for someone named Snack. A cobalt.
Speaker 7:Yes. I looked around nervously. Yes, that is me. I I yes, I am Snack. Kobolds are small.
Speaker 7:Right. Yes. Well, I, grew taller when I It's a long story. I have a different diet than most kobolds. I do lots of stretches.
Speaker 7:Mhmm.
Tara / Journey:My squirrel has notified me that there is an intruder, and so I wake up.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. So, Tibio, you wake up and you hear these this voice going back and forth with snack.
Tara / Journey:I creep out of the wagon.
Tim / GM:Sure. You are Snack then?
Speaker 7:Yes. Snack the kobold.
Tim / GM:Very well.
Speaker 7:This is my donkey.
Tim / GM:Okay. Snack, what is your AC?
Speaker 7:13.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. That's incorrect. Perfect.
Tim / GM:Snack, you feel 3, piercing damage, as you are stabbed in the chest by this Earth Genasi.
Speaker 7:In response?
Tim / GM:Yep.
Speaker 7:I am going to use a hellish rebuke, just out of being startled. So, they make a deck save.
Speaker 2:What the I
Tim / GM:they got a 19 on their deck save.
Speaker 7:Okay. Half damage. K.
Tara / Journey:While this is happening, I'm waking up the party. Okay.
Speaker 7:Yeah. 12 damage after halved, and it's fire.
Tim / GM:Damn. Okay. So he stabs you and takes one step back and kind of, like he's almost, like, checking his work on your chest to see if he, like, wounded you deeply enough. Mhmm. And, like, as he's looking at you, you're looking back
Speaker 7:at him incredulously. Immediately upon being stabbed, I, jump in the air, and then just, like, a crackling fire just explodes surrounding the fire the genasi. He's not fired genasi, but
Tim / GM:He is now. So you're all awake already, and the first thing you hear is just like as the as this guy erupts in flames and takes a few steps backwards.
Speaker 7:How dare you stab me? I was sleepy. I am awake now. I will never sleep.
Tim / GM:The,
Speaker 7:For hours.
Tim / GM:The flames, die down. And you can see, when they do, he's still standing. He is reaching for a potion, not a health potion. Not a red one. You know what the red ones do.
Tim / GM:He's reaching for a clear potion and is, quaffing it while the rest of you get out of your tents and can see him standing there.
Thomas / Guy:What the heck? Snake.
Speaker 7:This is my fight. And I cast, 1st eldritch blast on the potion he's drinking if I can. Okay. If there's still time for that. Yeah.
Speaker 7:And then once on him too.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 7:So first for the potion. 24. Yeah. That hits. Okay.
Speaker 7:And, oh, 13 to hit him. Okay.
Tim / GM:So 13 does not hit him. Okay. So that one misses. Yep. With the potion I want you to also give me a, a initiative roll on that since you're racing against this.
Speaker 7:12.
Tim / GM:Okay. So you do explode the potion in his hands, but he seems to have consumed enough of it for it to take effect.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Tim / GM:Standing where he is, you all see him begin to fade away. He has consumed a potion that has granted him invisibility. You can still see the depression on the ground where his feet are standing. And as he's fading away, Snack, he gives you this big grin and
Speaker 9:he says, Joe sends his regards.
Speaker 7:Snack, casts darkness. Okay. So magical darkness. Nobody can see through it unless they have something real special.
Speaker 3:Snug, we cannot tell if we cannot see.
Speaker 7:Yes, but that is why this is so devious. He cannot see us. We cannot see him. It's a stalemate. Who said that?
Thomas / Guy:It's Holly.
Speaker 2:I'm going back to bed.
Speaker 7:To clarify, I do have, devil's That's right. Devil's sight. So I can see a magical darkness.
Tim / GM:Okay. So a few tense minutes go by in this darkness. Nobody has moved. You Snack, you're pretty confident that guy is still here. What have you all done in that 2 minutes?
Speaker 7:Snack is, readying a thunder wave at the first. Knowing the the danger involved, Snack gathers a bidet and the rest of the party and tries to, like, quietly drag them together.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 9:Yeah.
Tim / GM:Because he can see and coordinate that. Yes. Yeah. It's a snack.
Speaker 7:I say as I, like, cut, like, cut my hand over people's mouths and move them.
Tim / GM:Just taking them all out in the darkness.
Speaker 7:Put them on
Speaker 2:Don't touch me.
Speaker 7:It's hard to not touch you and direct you.
Tim / GM:As he's trying to leave, you guys had left out some, like, dinner mess by the campfire. Okay. And he trips over a pot, and there's this huge clang and a few sparks as he trips over a stone.
Speaker 7:Okay. So I immediately, run over and then just, like, like, dive bomb a thunder wave in that area. Okay. Crap. I don't think I can do that.
Speaker 7:Scratch that. I'll go for eldritch blast scenario then because that's the only thing I can do.
Tim / GM:Okay. So I'll just give you a disadvantage to hit him in the dark there Okay.
Speaker 7:Or in the invisible. Yeah. 25 for the first one. Yeah. I guess if he gets hit, then I technically
Tim / GM:No worries. Yeah. Okay. So that first one definitely hit. You see this eldritch blast kind of cascade over an invisible lump.
Tim / GM:And, the embers of it and his singed clothing are giving away his position for the next attack.
Speaker 7:Alright. Regular. 16 to hit on that one.
Tim / GM:That one does hit. Oh.
Speaker 7:Sweet. Okay. Two hits.
Tara / Journey:I have a question. Yeah. So if he gets hit, doesn't the damage get rid of his concentration?
Tim / GM:Well, he's not concentrating on invisibility though since it's a potion.
Speaker 3:Oh. So
Speaker 7:he would lose invisibility if
Thomas / Guy:he attacks, though. Right?
Tim / GM:Correct.
Speaker 7:Yeah. I misunderstood. For some reason, I had it in my head that invisibility. Once you hit, you're no longer invisible.
Tim / GM:I don't think it it's that's true in D and D. You're right.
Speaker 2:That's true for something.
Tim / GM:Like every other game, Skyrim probably. Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2:Wow. Wow.
Tara / Journey:Skyrim.
Thomas / Guy:Wow.
Speaker 7:24 damage.
Tara / Journey:Damn. Jesus.
Tim / GM:Okay. Wow, indeed. Wow. Yeah. You hear another rustling of pots and pans as he falls to the ground unconscious, after that 1, 2 blast.
Thomas / Guy:Did you get him, Snack?
Speaker 7:Yes. But I'm not done yet. And I go for his dagger.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 7:And, I hold it up. Oh, and I cancel darkness.
Thomas / Guy:You're not doing something cool. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:He's still technically invisible, but he's knocked out. Right?
Tim / GM:Correct. Yeah. The, I guess, dim light of the area comes back into view as you see Snack straddling an invisible lump.
Speaker 7:Friends, I have been stabbed in the chest with this dagger. And I believe it is justice that I stab this one back.
Speaker 2:Wait. Snack.
Speaker 7:Right in the chest.
Hannah / Eryn:Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Speaker 7:What?
Speaker 2:We can't question him if he's dead.
Thomas / Guy:Well, technically, we can.
Speaker 7:Yes. I'm
Speaker 2:Oh, no. Go ahead then.
Speaker 8:Never mind.
Speaker 3:No. No. No. Do not kill him. Didn't he say something about Joe?
Speaker 7:Yeah. Joe will send us something. Yes.
Speaker 3:Then I think he must know Joe and will probably have information for us.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm a little worried about that dagger. Is it safe? Joe's known for curses?
Tara / Journey:I would like to check
Thomas / Guy:Phone check.
Tara / Journey:The dagger.
Speaker 8:K.
Tim / GM:Hey. You don't know. You're not
Hannah / Eryn:sure. Not
Tim / GM:sure about this or the guy.
Speaker 3:I cannot tell if this, Genesee is cursed. I cannot tell if the dagger is cursed. I don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:Wake him up and have Uli intimidate him.
Speaker 2:How do you intimidate someone you can't see?
Thomas / Guy:I can, dispel this magic.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. So yeah. Bert, you are able to dispel the invisibility while he's still, on the ground.
Hannah / Eryn:Is he is he unconscious, you said?
Tim / GM:Unconscious. Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. We should definitely rope him up, like we do. We're not killers. We just are in the what is it called? BDSM?
Hannah / Eryn:What is that?
Speaker 2:What is it called? BDSM?
Hannah / Eryn:Is that right?
Speaker 8:Yes. Yeah.
Speaker 7:That's right.
Hannah / Eryn:Fifty shades of D and D, baby. Oh, Oh,
Speaker 7:come on. I want to stab him at least once. Just just in his just his hand.
Hannah / Eryn:I just have regular rope. Do you still have that rock rope? Oops.
Speaker 7:I dropped the knife and I throw it at his hands.
Speaker 2:Okay. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Make an attack.
Speaker 7:Yeah. 16. Yeah. Roll a d 4. 3 plus 2.
Speaker 7:5 damage.
Tim / GM:K.
Speaker 2:Is he making death saves?
Thomas / Guy:He
Tim / GM:will for that. Well, he fails a death save for that. Okay. Snack. Make a constitution check.
Tim / GM:Nine. Snack. You can no longer move.
Speaker 7:I am hunched over after kinda tossing the dagger Mhmm. Hand out like I'm shaking someone's hand
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Speaker 7:And frozen in place.
Speaker 3:Snag, do not hurt him. We already talked about this. Get off. Move away.
Speaker 7:Yep. Yep.
Speaker 2:Yep. That's weird. Right?
Speaker 7:He's serious, Snack.
Speaker 3:Snack, you need to move.
Speaker 7:I yes. I would I would love to move.
Speaker 2:Snack, get up, and I grab him by the collar.
Tara / Journey:He's still in that same pose. Crouched.
Speaker 2:Shake him around a
Speaker 7:little bit.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, What was in that dagger?
Speaker 3:Uh-oh.
Speaker 8:What was in that
Hannah / Eryn:dagger? Snack, you can't move, can you?
Thomas / Guy:Trying to do a medicine check on mister Snack.
Tim / GM:Sure.
Thomas / Guy:Oh. At least 20.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You can you can see the strain in his anatomy and the kind of fatigue on his muscles. You can tell that he's under some paralytic toxin.
Thomas / Guy:Is it life threatening?
Tim / GM:It seems to be getting worse, so yes.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. I dislike this poison.
Tara / Journey:Oh, no. Tibio goes and grabs the dagger with his cloak
Thomas / Guy:Mhmm.
Tara / Journey:And finds some scrap cloth somewhere.
Tim / GM:You, when you go to grab the dagger, it's still sticking out of the guy just like sitting on the ground.
Tara / Journey:Yeah. I pull it out of his hand or arm or whatever and wrap it up with some scrap fabric.
Speaker 2:Is, is that guy gonna be okay?
Speaker 7:Why don't we talk about snack more? Right now, I don't I I am dying.
Thomas / Guy:Well, this guy just got stabbed with the dagger too. Maybe he has an antidote.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly investigates him for any antidote. Not good. 9, I think.
Speaker 2:I'll check his pockets also.
Tim / GM:Sure.
Speaker 3:13.
Tim / GM:You don't find the antidote, but you do find the poison. It's a very thin small vial of this, purplish iridescent oil.
Speaker 7:I do not want to die. Can some can someone get Jeanie?
Hannah / Eryn:Jeanie. I'll help you. Holly, grabs the lamp and says, Jeanie, we need you. Hurry. Hello?
Hannah / Eryn:Jeanie?
Tara / Journey:I take the lamp from Holly and I put it in front of Snack's face.
Tim / GM:Jean, genie. Snack? Did you need something?
Speaker 7:I believe so. What is it? I'd like to not die.
Tim / GM:It's the middle of the night snack.
Speaker 7:Yes, Genie. I am dying. Oh.
Tim / GM:He, like, pops his head out and he says, what happened to my baby? And he, like, turns around and looks at the rest of you. What did you do?
Hannah / Eryn:Quick, he is being paralyzed by poison. Help him.
Tim / GM:Poison. He, turns around and looks at you, Bert, and he's got one of those, like, weird circle mirrors on his head, you know, that doctors have.
Hannah / Eryn:With the little light It's like
Tim / GM:a pizza cutter.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Oh, I know. And he says, doctor?
Thomas / Guy:It's, poison. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:The this poison.
Thomas / Guy:From the dagger.
Tim / GM:He, takes the poison from Iuli, and he, like, dips a pinky into the vial and
Speaker 2:And Genie is frozen. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Damn. Oh, shit. It's poison.
Tim / GM:This is not good. I, snack.
Speaker 7:Mhmm. Yes.
Tim / GM:I can save you, but, well, you know how it goes, right? What can you spare for me? Alright.
Speaker 7:Things were It's My brain is foggy, I cannot think.
Thomas / Guy:What? You need a magic item, Jimmy? Would a scroll work?
Tim / GM:I'm not sure. It's going to be enough.
Hannah / Eryn:How about an orb that we don't use?
Thomas / Guy:Mhmm.
Hannah / Eryn:Just kidding.
Speaker 2:How about a cursed item?
Tim / GM:Ugh, please. No. Not enough Pepto Bismol in the world.
Speaker 7:Can somebody take my cloak off? I got you, pal. This might be a good start.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, Oh, is this cloak magic?
Speaker 7:Yes. How about it, mister Genie?
Tim / GM:That would do, but I also know it to be a personal favorite of master snacks. Snack, are you sure you don't want to just die with a cool cloak?
Hannah / Eryn:No. Wait. Use this instead. Holly pulls a right white glove out of her pocket, and she hands it over to the genie. It's a swap glove.
Hannah / Eryn:I know Michael Jackson liked to use it.
Tim / GM:He says, woah, stylish. And he, like, takes it off of you. Yes. This will get us there. Snack, keep your cloak.
Thomas / Guy:That was a close one.
Speaker 7:Thank you, Holly.
Tim / GM:You've got good friend, Snack. Your lungs are shutting down. And he, grabs the, glove from Holly and, like, just, like, he like bites a finger and like tears the finger off the glove and he like sucks it down like a like a noodle. Yeah. He eats the fingers 1 by 1 and then eats the palm.
Tim / GM:And he says, that's one limited wish. What'll it be? And he's, like, shaking with, with power.
Hannah / Eryn:Please remove the paralyzing poison from my friend's snack. Thank you.
Speaker 7:I approve of this message.
Tim / GM:Who wants a lesser restoration?
Speaker 7:I do.
Tim / GM:He does. And he, points at you, Snack, and he, like, takes his hand and he goes up to your hand that's frozen in position, gives you like a tiny little high five. And, you feel from your hand outward a sort of, warmth as the this stony paralytic effect wears away from you. Who else? That guy?
Speaker 7:Yeah. No. I want to make bidet younger. Can we do that instead?
Tim / GM:Okay. So just to be clear, you don't wanna save this guy. You want bidet to be a little bit younger.
Speaker 7:The guy that stabbed me?
Tim / GM:Yeah. What? Why? Decision
Hannah / Eryn:snack. Say bidet.
Speaker 2:321.
Speaker 3:No no no. We need information from this man.
Speaker 7:I want this man to not die.
Tim / GM:Boring. And he, he, points at the guy on the ground and brings him back to life. And he says, sorry, bidet. Next wish.
Speaker 3:We can find another way to make bidet healthy.
Speaker 7:Bidet doesn't even want to live longer anyways.
Tim / GM:Right, bidet? Bidet is nodding.
Speaker 7:Oh, thank you, Holly. That was very kind.
Hannah / Eryn:It's fine.
Speaker 7:I love this poison, though. Do I get to keep? We could use this.
Speaker 3:No. I don't think so. I think we should destroy it.
Speaker 7:What? No. I'm going to Bert.
Hannah / Eryn:I'll hold on to this, and Holly takes it, make sure the stopper is fully on.
Tim / GM:Bert, you see the Earth Genesee is, crawling away a few inches at a time.
Thomas / Guy:Snack that, fellow is trying
Tim / GM:to get away.
Speaker 7:Yes.
Speaker 2:I just put a boot on his back.
Thomas / Guy:Let's, talk to him, shall we?
Speaker 2:Tell us everything you know.
Tim / GM:Give me an intimidate.
Speaker 2:Hell, yes. 23.
Tim / GM:Yes. Yeah. He just kind of cows and rolls over.
Speaker 9:I was given 45 gold pieces to attack a kobold. I didn't even think it was a bad thing to do.
Speaker 2:For 45 gold.
Speaker 9:It's kobold.
Thomas / Guy:Are you having second thoughts about it now?
Speaker 7:Yeah. You have this gold still?
Speaker 9:So some of it?
Speaker 7:Mhmm. For each gold that is short, you lose one finger. Uh-huh. How many gold do you have? 25.
Speaker 7:That's 20 fingers.
Speaker 2:He has 20 fingers. No.
Speaker 3:We do not good have their
Speaker 7:neck.
Speaker 2:No. How about instead you tell us where Joe is heading, and we won't hurt you. You can keep your fingers.
Hannah / Eryn:We're really turning into that crew, aren't we?
Speaker 3:I'm bluffing. Okay.
Tara / Journey:When you say I'm bluffing, Tibia is like, oh, we're bluffing. Yes. And I
Speaker 3:will start with your fingernails. I will cut them.
Speaker 2:You don't wanna mess with him. He knows he knows his bones. He knows his pedicures.
Thomas / Guy:And then I'll cast a spell that makes your fingers grow back, and we'll cut those
Speaker 7:off. Yes.
Speaker 2:Also, he could tattoo mean words on your face.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Words like butt. He looks up at Tibia and says,
Speaker 9:whose bones are those?
Speaker 3:There are too many to count.
Speaker 9:I I was paid by a man named Joe McMillan. I don't know where he is. He went into Knoll territory. He's probably dead, to be honest.
Tara / Journey:Sorry. Knoll territory?
Tim / GM:Yeah. G n o l
Speaker 3:l. Gn No.
Thomas / Guy:They're dog guys.
Tim / GM:Yes. Gnolls are bipedal hyena creatures.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh.
Speaker 7:Bert.
Thomas / Guy:Yes, Nick.
Speaker 7:Bert, you did tattoos. Right? I dabble. Can you also do stamps?
Thomas / Guy:I don't see why not.
Speaker 7:Yeah. For this this thing. Can I pull out the gavel? Could you do that one?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, like give him a Tildry tattoo.
Speaker 7:Right, yes. Can we do that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. We're just adding him to our backup party. Right?
Thomas / Guy:He is adding another Pokemon to the party.
Speaker 2:Just get him to the mall.
Speaker 7:Thank you, Udi, for your, intimidation. What what was your name again, creature?
Tim / GM:Tick. Ock.
Tara / Journey:You gotta name every NPC. You gotta have a voice, fucking ready. You gotta name every funny the
Speaker 3:heaviest help.
Hannah / Eryn:Know their
Thomas / Guy:entire ancestry.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I I like Auk.
Speaker 2:I said Brock.
Tim / GM:Oh. Oh,
Hannah / Eryn:I like Oc. I
Thomas / Guy:like Oc. Oc.
Speaker 9:My name is Oc.
Speaker 7:Mhmm. How unfortunate. Oc. We will give you this offer. You get a stamp, and I will let you keep your gold if you go after to kill Joe.
Speaker 7:What? Let me confer with my legal counsel to be honest. What what is the alternative?
Speaker 3:What if we took him with us to the nearest town, the next town, and have him hand him over to the law there?
Thomas / Guy:I think we just let him go. We took his poison.
Speaker 7:How about this? Yes. We will give you the stamp and then I will check back in a few months, if I remember. And then we'll just see and make sure you're not killing people and then let you go.
Speaker 9:What does the stamp do?
Hannah / Eryn:It's just a little summoning spell.
Speaker 7:Yeah. We can bring you on to us whenever we want.
Speaker 2:And then send you back.
Speaker 9:I see. If I get to go free, then
Speaker 7:yes. This is my prisoner, and I I say, Bert, please give him the stamp. We let him go. And I check back in a few months, and if he is doing bad stuff, well, I get to kill him. Fair?
Speaker 2:I just feel like I just wanna let him go.
Speaker 9:Yeah. Right? I mean, it's just one mistake. I'm still a good guy.
Speaker 2:Shut up.
Thomas / Guy:You don't get a vote, pal.
Speaker 3:I guess if we are going to let him go, I would rather he have the stamp just in case.
Hannah / Eryn:Whatever you guys say.
Thomas / Guy:Let's do it. I've been meaning to practice at this tattoo business.
Tara / Journey:Can you do the stamp as a tattoo?
Tim / GM:Mhmm. Yeah. Right. So, he does not resist much knowing what the alternative is.
Speaker 7:Ak. Yes. What is it that you dream to become? You say you would like to be a good Genasi.
Speaker 9:I wanna be a dog groomer.
Speaker 3:Oh, that is wonderful. I love dogs.
Speaker 9:I just never had the opportunities growing up. It was either killing people or well, that was about it.
Speaker 7:If this is true, you may keep your gold and do this thing. Become a dog groomer? Yes. We will speak with you in, some time.
Tim / GM:I'll be covered with pomeranian in here. I promise you.
Thomas / Guy:Next time we summon you, show us a cute dog. Yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think that's a fair price.
Hannah / Eryn:This is your task, your burden to bear.
Speaker 9:He says, I I've got a new leash on life. I I I promise.
Tara / Journey:New leash on life?
Tim / GM:A new leash on life.
Speaker 9:That's what I'm calling my grooming sore.
