Cloudfall | 35 - Family Jewels
Last time on Cloudfall. They found Smallcastle. They made landfall with the Shatterhorn, touching down in a small overgrown plaza outside the walls of small castle. But small castle has an emptiness about it. Too much of it is old and abandoned, but not completely abandoned.
Tim / GM:Not a moment after landing, the party encountered a trio of headless warriors, Dullahan, just like Guy. All seemingly out to get him. The party fought them down and met a white knighting zealot named Peter Lapelas who's on a warpath to eliminate all of Dullahan including Guy. Now he's leading them back to Small Castle proper, and things are getting weird. As they approach the shimmering dome around the keep, they've suddenly shrunk down to find the real small castle at the heart of it all.
Tim / GM:The world around you is overwhelming. The overgrown throne room that you are standing in is now a sprawling field of moss, packed with clusters of ferns and mushrooms and fallen branches and broken furniture, all dazzled with weak sunlight pouring into the stained glass windows of that old throne room. But now Guy stands just over 2 inches tall by any estimate. Relative to that, Poppy is practically microscopic. You're all taking in the grandeur and the sudden fatigue of being in a world way, way too big for you.
Tim / GM:And you see that Peter has exploited this moment to make his escape. You're all dizzy and disoriented, not at all used to the new physics of your surroundings, and Zeelas Lapelas has already made more distance down the trail. What do you do?
Hannah / Eryn:Hey. He's getting away. Aaron's gonna try to shoot him in the foot.
Tim / GM:He was riding a white horse, which you can see is outside of the cathedral having not shrunk down with you. So he's just sprinting down the trail. Yeah. Go ahead and take a shot at him.
Hannah / Eryn:14 to hit.
Tim / GM:Does not hit Peter. He is quite heavily armored Shoot. Even though he's got his back too.
Thomas / Guy:Lapillus. What is the meaning of this?
Tim / GM:He's clomping down the, roadway, this gravel path leading towards a forest of ferns, and he looks back over his shoulder and he says,
Tim / GM:you shan't take this kingdom.
Thomas / Guy:I must catch up to him. Steed. Come to me, Steed. Oh. Is what size is Steed?
Tim / GM:Steed is, for some reason, proportional to you.
Thomas / Guy:Steed?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Thomas / Guy:You are tiny like me.
Tim / GM:Indeed. Is there somewhere you needed to get to?
Thomas / Guy:Stede, that little man over there has tricked us. I must catch him.
Tim / GM:Catch him, Michelle. Mount up, general.
John / Doran:Yeah. Good luck, guy. And here's a party game inspiration.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. I'm gonna race after him, I guess.
Tim / GM:Yeah. It does it's pretty easy for you to catch up to this guy being that Peter is just clomping down the trail. You sprung up with Stede like you always do and bolt ahead, although it's more of a now, but he's so tiny.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. I wanna, like, catch up to him and then get in of him and try to block his exit.
Tim / GM:Guy, as you're riding Stede, he just torpedoes himself towards the ground and digs his hooves in, and you see the spray of dirt and gravel kick up as you land in front of Peter and Peter just kind of stops and you hear his armor clank and he tries not to fall forward as he glares ahead of you.
Thomas / Guy:Peter, what is the meaning of this? You will change us back at once.
Tim / GM:I'm not doing this though. It's not me. It's it's the the witch. She's shrunk us all down.
Thomas / Guy:Well, tell the witch to shrink us up.
Tim / GM:Well, if you want to get big again, you just need to leave.
Thomas / Guy:The way we came.
Tim / GM:That's all
Tim / GM:it needs. You can be big whenever you wanna be.
Thomas / Guy:Mhmm. Guy calls out to the others.
John / Doran:Oh, hey, guy. We caught up. So we're we're here. Oh, oh. What's up?
Thomas / Guy:This dick says that we just need to leave, and
Tim / GM:But we will I'm not a dick. Grow
Thomas / Guy:back to normal size.
Tim / GM:I'm not a dick.
John / Doran:That's useful to know. Zelus Lapillus.
Hannah / Eryn:Why do we keep calling him Zelus? I thought you said his name was Peter.
Tim / GM:Well, I'm known as Zelus Lapelus from here to the mainland. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:It's not Peter?
Tim / GM:Well, it's Peter, but
Tim / GM:I think it's a nickname.
Tim / GM:Peter lapelis. They call me zealous lapelis.
John / Doran:Yeah. Pete. Can we call you Pete? Is that fine?
Hannah / Eryn:That seems better.
John / Doran:Alright. Yeah. Pete. Bit disrespectful, don't you think? Petey then.
John / Doran:So, anyways
Tim / GM:I have titles. Titles matter here.
Tim / GM:Do they?
Tim / GM:What does
John / Doran:the zealous the zealous mean? What does that title mean?
Tim / GM:Peter the. I never stop chasing fiends, undead, Dullahan.
Hannah / Eryn:How about EZ P?
Tim / GM:I love Eazy P.
John / Doran:That is a rapper I saw. I think that one's taken, but
Tim / GM:What's a rapper?
Tim / GM:I could be a rapper.
John / Doran:Sure. Yeah. Well, regardless, easy pea.
Tim / GM:And I'm here to say, I'll cut off your head on another day.
John / Doran:I do like that. But,
Thomas / Guy:Focus, Don. Focus. Sorry. Sorry.
John / Doran:Peter, we want you to give us audience with this, which, you spoke of. And and that that's why you're still alive. That's why we we let you go. So,
Tim / GM:I
Tim / GM:I don't have authority to
Tim / GM:give you audience to anybody.
John / Doran:Okay. But you could get the word in. You've met her, certainly.
Hannah / Eryn:I think this guy is not very useful, Doran.
Hannah / Eryn:We should probably just forget about him.
Tim / GM:I'll have you know I'm a guest of the king and queen.
Tim / GM:Cool. Are you, like, Ben?
Tim / GM:They brought me here to help, to rid them of the darkness.
Hannah / Eryn:What darkness?
Tim / GM:He points at Guy. The Dullahan.
Hannah / Eryn:There's more than just the ones out there?
Tim / GM:Indeed. Several on the island.
Hannah / Eryn:Where did they come from?
Tim / GM:Nobody knows.
Tim / GM:When did they show up?
Tim / GM:Recently. Last
Tim / GM:few weeks.
John / Doran:Well, we're pretty good at, dealing with horrible threats that affect Skylands. That's kind of our go to, thing we do now. So if there's anything you could do to help us get an audience with the king and queen. You said king and queen?
Tim / GM:Oh, you'll have an audience. Okay.
Tim / GM:Of course.
Hannah / Eryn:Great. This donkey knows the witch and Aaron Poinsett steed.
Tim / GM:Alright. My horse knows the periodic tables.
Tim / GM:Who cares?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I
Tim / GM:just a really smart horse.
Hannah / Eryn:I just mean that, the donkey is friends with the witch, so, maybe this they can say hi to each other.
Tim / GM:If you could even get in to see her, She's a bit of a recluse
Tim / GM:Oh.
Tim / GM:With her magic
Tim / GM:in her tower.
Hannah / Eryn:Someone just needs to tell her Stede is here, and that'll probably be good.
Hannah / Eryn:Did the witch shrink everyone on purpose?
Tim / GM:Of course. They asked for it.
Thomas / Guy:Oh. Who asked for it?
Tim / GM:I don't owe you explanations. You're effectively my prisoners.
Hannah / Eryn:You're right. Let's just go to the king and queen. Forget about this guy.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yes. Let's Yeah. Let's talk about it. Decide.
Tim / GM:We're not your prisoners. We can walk out of here. You said so yourself.
Tim / GM:Well, yes. But if you go into small castle with me, then you're my prisoners. Yes.
Tim / GM:Or we go in without you or take you as prisoner.
Hannah / Eryn:That might be
John / Doran:a weird look. I mean, if it actually
Tim / GM:How
Tim / GM:would that look? Yeah. Taking me prisoner when I'm guest of the king.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, how about you just point us in the right direction, and then you stay here, and then it's you're not a part of it at all.
Tim / GM:I'm going that way too.
Hannah / Eryn:We gotta go anyway. Let's just go.
Thomas / Guy:No funny business, Lapillus.
Tim / GM:Peter tries to, like, rip his shoulder away from you and starts to march forward as to kind of, like, appear to be leading the group towards the castle.
Hannah / Eryn:As he's walking ahead of us, Eren's gonna shape shift into him, behind him, and be a duplicate of him as we walk through into the gates.
John / Doran:Based on seeing him in combat, how strong did I kind of, like, perceive him as?
Tim / GM:He's, like, probably a pretty competent competent.
Thomas / Guy:Nice.
Tim / GM:But he seems entirely focused for one purpose, and that is dealing with Dullahan. His his gold weaponry, his gold arsenal is especially suited for this task.
Hannah / Eryn:You might say he's zealous.
Tim / GM:Or perhaps zealous.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. That's what I say.
Tim / GM:I,
John / Doran:look at Aaron, and I don't have thieves camp, but I wanna try to, pull up the echo bell. Mhmm. Say Peter? Yes.
Tim / GM:Do you
John / Doran:think you can, that was pretty good.
Hannah / Eryn:Do you
John / Doran:think you can, take us, over to the king and queen?
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. I definitely can.
John / Doran:Oh, okay. I'm gonna cast sleep at 4th level on Peter Peter's not doing this.
Hannah / Eryn:Can you Amazing.
Tim / GM:Target sleep, or is it of, an area of 5 seconds?
Tim / GM:It's an
Tim / GM:area. But if he's
Tim / GM:if Peter's leading ahead, it's easy to, skip him out.
John / Doran:You can aim. Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna try to, like, position the spell and, upcasting sleep 246888. And then I just need to hit his hit point total, hopefully.
John / Doran:35. I fucked up. So 14 more. So I I think I
Tim / GM:said You said 35, so this would be 49.
John / Doran:Okay.
Tim / GM:K. Peter is looking down a fork in the road as to what path to choose. He looks down a slightly more well trodden one and kinda nods to himself assuredly. But when he takes that first step out, you see his knee kind of buckle. And he gets low to the ground, and then all of a sudden, he kinda puts his arms on his knees, and he says,
Tim / GM:maybe we should just take a
Tim / GM:second, get a small nap in, or what do you think? Maybe we could
Tim / GM:this guy is really snitch. Okay. It's okay.
Tim / GM:And he slowly just kinda slumps against the moss on the ground and falls asleep.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. That was that was really good. I think we're ready to, head on into the castle now.
John / Doran:Alright, everyone. Let's, just, depart. He looks fine.
Hannah / Eryn:What is happening? Aaron's just gonna, like, quick check him for any, like, satchel bags, anything, like, in his pockets before we head off.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Do I find, like, a missive? I'm looking for, like, something to prove that I'm him really. You know?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay. So So
Tim / GM:you find a few, like, valuables. He's he's, a person who enjoys finery. So he's got a ruby ring. He's got an emerald ring.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I'm taking them.
Tim / GM:He does have a writ from the king that gives him highest authority in the land
Tim / GM:We're gonna ruin this man's life.
Tim / GM:To act as judge, jury, and executioner Wow. So far as it concerns fae, fiends, and undead.
John / Doran:Okay. Oof. K.
Tim / GM:Oh, that's not just dull hands.
Hannah / Eryn:That's, like, half our party. Yeah. Cool.
Tim / GM:You see
Tim / GM:at the bottom, his stipend is actually pretty low. He's not a well paid person for this this specific gig.
Tim / GM:He gets paid in exposure?
Tim / GM:Seems like it.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I feel kinda bad for him, so I'll leave his money. I got a ship. I don't need it. I hand the writ with a bunch of scribbles on it that Aaron can't read.
Hannah / Eryn:I hand it to Doran and say, what does this say? Quick.
John / Doran:He's got a lot of authority here, but he also doesn't get paid much. So, yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:So it's like a piece of paper that tells other people that I'm cool?
John / Doran:He can just he can just, kill Faye Fien's undead.
Tim / GM:So
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I don't need a piece of paper for that, but good to know. And Erin pockets in in their, one of their pockets. I'm like, what does what does Aaron have? In your armor pocket. In my armor pocket.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. It's got pockets.
Tim / GM:I chose
Tim / GM:now. Yeah. You can change that to fly.
Hannah / Eryn:That's true. I can add pockets to my armor if I so choose.
Tim / GM:It's just, like, sewn on jean pockets on
Tim / GM:you. Okay.
John / Doran:Alright. So, Jarmer. Peter.
Hannah / Eryn:Yep.
John / Doran:We're your prisoners, and we're just trying to get an audience with the queen. Right?
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. I'm a little hoity toity, red head boy.
John / Doran:I can't even I'm not even sure if we got the right Peter still.
Hannah / Eryn:That's right. You don't know anything.
Thomas / Guy:Nice. Aaron, I find this highly unpleasant.
Hannah / Eryn:Who's Eren? My name's Peter Zepelis.
Thomas / Guy:That is Eren. Right?
Tim / GM:Peter Lapelis or Zelis Lapelis. Oh, I see.
Thomas / Guy:Just key if you keep making up increasingly ridiculous sounding names, I think people will believe you.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm gonna go by ECP.
Tim / GM:I think I think you could probably, ruin this man's reputation if you want to.
Hannah / Eryn:We'll we'll see how it goes.
Thomas / Guy:I do not believe there is much to
Tim / GM:The road ahead is well marked and well traveled. It seems like this is kind of a main throughway that people use to get to Small Castle. It follows a little river of rainwater that's falling from the broken roof in this throne room, and you can see that there are pews in the throne room that have been destroyed and toppled and pushed over, but they form this mountain like corridor now that leads all the way to that dollhouse castle at the end of the path here. But before that kingdom was a thick forest. As you all move into this undergrowth, the world is getting difficult to parse at this size because it's all kind of new to you.
Tim / GM:It doesn't really make sense the things you're looking at. You know, you see what looks like a tree trunk and you realize it's a mushroom stalk, you know, that's raising a mushroom canopy high above you. You can see fern leaves that are slicing the sunlight that flickers down through in this forest. When it gets dark like this, sometimes the only guiding light around you is actually coming from Journey in her hair. Those Feybuds kind of give away a little constant guiding light, that actually makes it very colorful and sort of calming down here.
Tim / GM:Those shifting lights is almost like a lava lamp when you get into dark spaces like this.
Tim / GM:Oh, you guys. I always used to dream about being even tinier.
Tim / GM:Really?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I thought it would be really cool to, like, use a sewing needle as a sword, and that it just was a dream of mine as a girl.
Hannah / Eryn:You know, there's some places in the Feywilds that just look like this all the time.
Tim / GM:What? With, like, giant mushrooms?
Hannah / Eryn:Giant mushrooms and plants that are just ridiculously oversized. And
Tim / GM:That sounds so cool. And then there's, like, a fae prince that comes and sweeps you off your feet and and saves you from your parents?
Hannah / Eryn:Not so much. They don't really do that kind of stuff. Oh. I mean, there's definitely Faye royalty, and they're pretty wild. They don't do a lot of saving folks from your realm.
Tim / GM:Well, that's okay. It's just a fantasy.
Tim / GM:Aaron.
Hannah / Eryn:You mean Peter? Jesus. I mean, EZP.
Tim / GM:In fact, I'm talking to the Aaron within the Peter.
Tim / GM:Can we call
Tim / GM:this episode within the Peter? Within the feed.
Thomas / Guy:Everyone has 2 Aarons inside
Tim / GM:of it.
Tim / GM:Which one will you feed? Feed? Aaron, you're walking directly behind Journey. So you've got this bright kind of dazzling display in front of you of her fae buds kind of moving about in the darkness here, and you remember one of the last times that you saw something like this. That memory is very close to you even though it's something that you try to stuff down.
Tim / GM:Erin, you're in a dark forest in this flashback. You're near the edge of the woods on the west end of Lake Ortheir, back in Farewell. This is like episode 1 shit.
Tim / GM:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:You're crouched in these low ferns between the trees, your eyes fixed like a hunting cat on a small swarm of glowing sprites, we see Aaron slowly creep towards them staying low, and then they spring out from the bushes. Aaron stands, rapidly changing their shape to become like this other thing that they see, this firbolg, and they stand to regard her, but they pay her no mind. Erin is a creature like anything else. The furbolgs have no quarrel with her, But then Erin does what they were sent there to do. They reach out for 1 of the Feybuds, and it fights against her grasp and begins to cry out.
Tim / GM:And there's this melodic crescendo of a shout. And then another fate bud flies at Erin from a canopy and pushing through her and causing a burn on Erin's chest. And then out of anger, Aaron just grabs this sprite and smooshes it and smears it against the tree. And the furball look at her in utter horror as Erin wipes the glow off her hand. Erin reaches up, grabs the other Feybod, shoves it into a glass terrarium, and turns to leave.
Hannah / Eryn:You stole the bud.
Tim / GM:Aaron, you're just watching these kind of hypnotic fey buds swirl around, not the wiser to your past crimes even though you can feel that guilt so heavy on you. And you need everyone to make a perception check.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, boy.
Tim / GM:To read Aaron's mind.
Thomas / Guy:I got an upside down 12 when I was excited because that's a 2021.
Hannah / Eryn:Aaron got 12. Perception.
Hannah / Eryn:23.
John / Doran:Oh. 9.
Hannah / Eryn:14.
Tim / GM:Cool. That would be Poppy.
Tim / GM:Poppy finally did something.
Tim / GM:Poppy being so low to the ground. Mhmm. You notice something through some of the moss patches, blades of grass here. In the darkest places off the trail, you see movement. And to you, it looks like vermin, like a rat moving in small bursts, but somehow unaffected by the shrinking effects of Small Castle, making it a threat larger than a dire bear, a huge dark rat.
Tim / GM:But good guys?
Thomas / Guy:Yes, puppy?
Tim / GM:There's a big giant rat. I think I don't think I like this fantasy anymore.
Thomas / Guy:Wow. That's big.
Tim / GM:Does it see us?
Tim / GM:Not yet.
Tim / GM:Okay. What if we hide?
Hannah / Eryn:That seems like a capital idea. Aaron as Peter tries to get into a bush in their armor and, like, and, like, just, like, sitting really awkwardly. Around. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Journey cast, speak with animals again.
Tim / GM:Get that.
Hannah / Eryn:This just never worked out for me, but we're doing it again.
Hannah / Eryn:Speak with this rat.
John / Doran:We can
Hannah / Eryn:ride it into the sunset.
John / Doran:Upon casting that spell, Doran quickly pulls out his lute, does a strumming, disembarnic inspiration. Stupid.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He'll
Tim / GM:hear us.
John / Doran:He's he's very palm muted as a. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:I I wait for everyone to kind of tuck themselves away, and then I step forward toward the rat. K. Hi there.
Tim / GM:You all found this giant, like, fallen birch branch to kind of tuck behind that had, like, somehow fallen through into this destroyed throne room here, and Journey bravely walks ahead. You call out to this thing, and it immediately notices you. You see it turn up and just kinda fix its eyes looking straight at you, and then it turns its head to the side to get one big flat eye against you. And then it moves up to you in a quick burst, closing the distance by half journey. But you notice is that this red is dripping with shadow.
Hannah / Eryn:Fuck. I have a goddamn time.
Tim / GM:It's still, like, darting its eyes back and forth looking for exactly where you are down here. Diminutive as you are, even it struggles to find you. Give me one more perception check from everyone but Journey.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, no.
Tim / GM:That 20 bitch. I see everything.
Hannah / Eryn:Eren got 15 perception.
Thomas / Guy:Guy faces the wrong
John / Doran:way. 17.
Tim / GM:K. Guy, I think literally facing the wrong way. You see the distant distant glint of Peter Lapidus.
Tim / GM:It can't be.
Tim / GM:Aaron and Doran, you look ahead and you see a gate. There's 2 towers that have a small door between them, and it doesn't make any sense because it looks like you could just go around the gate. Like, there's no there this gate is not preventing anything from getting through, but there's a gate up the trail outside of this forest, not far. Poppy, you look straight up, and you see an owl sitting in the rafters looking down exactly at the rat.
Tim / GM:Can I do something?
Tim / GM:No. Let's move on.
Thomas / Guy:A fun little rat anecdote.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Hope
Tim / GM:you all like my rat story.
Hannah / Eryn:My rat puzzle. You cracked it.
Tim / GM:I would like to cast prestidigitation on the rat Mhmm. To make it, like, glint a little bit in the sunlight coming down through the stained glass to make it look like a delectable prey.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You give the rat a little bit of luster. Your prestidigitation makes it glossy, and it starts to reflect that, the stained glass sunlight. I like that. Yeah.
Tim / GM:It, like, reflects off in a dazzling pattern that the owl just suddenly, like, turns its head rapidly, catches on it, and it swoops down. Journey, get me a perception check.
Tim / GM:Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:It's your part again?
Hannah / Eryn:It's not gonna help. Okay.
Tim / GM:Oh.
Hannah / Eryn:I I I yeah. But no. 8.
Tim / GM:K. Journey doesn't see the owl coming for her or the rat, really,
Hannah / Eryn:at this point. No.
Tim / GM:You guys are a relative, 30 feet away from Journey. You've got 2 seconds before I impact. What do you
Tim / GM:do? Journey, duck.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I'd dive backwards away from the rat.
Tim / GM:Okay. Oh,
Thomas / Guy:it's an owl. Oh,
Tim / GM:Journey owl.
Tim / GM:Got a cocked roll there. Okay.
Tim / GM:That's also a bird.
Tim / GM:Journey, this owl lands practically on top of you. You see its talon just sat down next to you in the grass and just starts to dig into the moss and dirt. You see it carving ruts as big as your body right next to you. If you hadn't rolled out of the way in that moment, you would have been eviscerated. But you see it dive down with its beak and peck for this rat again and again.
Tim / GM:And all of a sudden, you just see it, like, struck through. And with a spray of blood, it picks the rat up, shakes it side to side until it realizes it's something other than meat and blood, casts it a good 100 feet away from you, relatively speaking, and it lands off in the forest with a thud. This is your chance to run to the gate.
Hannah / Eryn:Time to go. Nope.
Tim / GM:Can you
Hannah / Eryn:pick me up?
Thomas / Guy:Up you go. I I think the real Peter is following us.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, no. Aaron starts running in their armor.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Climb. Climb. Climb.
Tim / GM:You guys play that quick enough to where you make it to the gate well before Peter can catch up to you. You see 2 stone towers that sit barely 10 feet apart with a massive tiny wooden gate, between them. There's a little walkway that spans between the gates, but the curious thing here is it really looks like you could just walk around this gate and not have to go through, so why is it even here?
John / Doran:Yeah. Does it seem can I just take a glance at them? Like, is there something magical about this entryway?
Tim / GM:Not about the entryway. You can give me an investigation check.
John / Doran:Investigation. Oh, a 22.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Just moving around to that kind of why not go around sort of philosophy, you start to catch that scintillating sphere again. This is where it begins and this is the only egress into the sphere is through this person sized gate. Well, sorry. The gate's 3 inches tall, but you know what I mean.
John / Doran:I think it's safe to go through exactly here.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright. Yeah. After you.
Tim / GM:Right. Who goes there?
John / Doran:Oh, we're prisoners. I'm sorry.
Hannah / Eryn:It's me, Peter.
Tim / GM:You see on top of the gate, a guard clad in armor kind of leans over that top walkway and says, we're not supposed
Tim / GM:to let people in unless we know them or they've got a writ or they've been announced.
Hannah / Eryn:I got the writ right here. If you take a look, it's got writ things on it.
Tim / GM:Course, Peter. You're allowed in.
Hannah / Eryn:Yep. These are my prisoners. I caught them, and, they're naughty. Naughty people.
John / Doran:So mean, Peter. Calling us naughty.
Hannah / Eryn:Quiet you. Now let us in.
Tim / GM:Hello, prisoners. Hey.
Tim / GM:Hello. Guards.
Hannah / Eryn:Nice to meet you.
Tim / GM:I'm a guard. My name is Ayan. Ayan.
Hannah / Eryn:Your name's Guardian?
Tim / GM:Gardayan.
Tim / GM:Oh.
Tim / GM:Oh. So nice that that's
John / Doran:You're destined to be so
Tim / GM:good at what you're doing.
Hannah / Eryn:That's a real good name.
Tim / GM:Hello. Hello. I'm I'm another god. I also watched the front gate with Ian. My name is god
John / Doran:Gerard. Also good name. We're in a bit of a hurry, though, as prisoners.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright. Alright. Let's see now.
Tim / GM:How long we're supposed to take a log. Right?
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. But, Ikinetesin, and then we'll do the log is how we usually do it.
Tim / GM:We have to do the log before we open the door. What are your names, your titles, and your names?
Tim / GM:There's a really big owl back there.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. We're a little bit in danger of the owl.
Tim / GM:Oh, the owl. They opened the gate. Okay.
Tim / GM:They, they let you in, and they close the gate behind you.
Hannah / Eryn:He our guard, Ian. Back to that, that was a really strange illusion. It looked just like me, but you know I'm the real Peter because I got the red seat.
Tim / GM:I'll make a deception check.
John / Doran:I quickly pull out my littin.
Hannah / Eryn:23.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Guard Gerard just nods his head emphatically
Tim / GM:and goes, alright. Yeah. We'll look for him. Someone that looks just like you, Peter.
Hannah / Eryn:That's right.
Tim / GM:We won't let him in under any circumstances.
Hannah / Eryn:Very good. Very good.
Tim / GM:Thank you for the warning.
Hannah / Eryn:I'll let you up for that promotion.
Tim / GM:Indeed. Well, hold on. You can't be so clever that you don't do the logs. We have to do the logs. Please
Hannah / Eryn:Yes.
Tim / GM:What are all your names and titles?
Tim / GM:I I am Starbaker co captain Poppy.
Tim / GM:Starbaker co captain Poppy. That's what we're going to call
Tim / GM:you every time we address you
Tim / GM:in small Castle. Good job.
Tim / GM:You're welcome. You can just call me co captain Poppy.
Tim / GM:No. You said Starbaker co captain Poppy
Tim / GM:every single time.
Tim / GM:That part's more important.
Tim / GM:You, Chop.
John / Doran:Oh, me? Star co captain Doran.
Tim / GM:Star co captain.
Tim / GM:Star co captain Doran. So is star co captain better than Star Baker co captain?
John / Doran:No. Well, I mean
Hannah / Eryn:It's not.
John / Doran:That's up to you to decide.
Tim / GM:Very well. How about the other fellow with armor?
John / Doran:My name is Guy.
Tim / GM:Soldier Guy?
Thomas / Guy:Soldier works. I have been called a bodyguard, a sous chef.
Hannah / Eryn:General?
John / Doran:General.
Hannah / Eryn:What about general guy? Are you writing all of it?
Tim / GM:Soldier bodyguard, general sous chef guy. Tell him.
Hannah / Eryn:It's so good.
Tim / GM:Very well. I have that pending just here under star cap star co captain Doran.
John / Doran:You have really good spelling that. Just nailing all of that.
Tim / GM:And, for the 4th entry, we have this, furry creature.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Journey. I don't have a title.
Tim / GM:Well 1st mate.
Tim / GM:That's a bit of a hassle. Right? On small castle is that we need titles. I'm god Gerard. This is god Ian.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, okay. I I see. So a title is kinda like what you do?
Tim / GM:Right.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright. How about Journey Journey?
Tim / GM:Journey Journey. Journeyman Journey.
Hannah / Eryn:Just Journey Journey.
Tim / GM:That makes sense. It's your proper name, but also you do journey.
Hannah / Eryn:Right. Exactly. You get me.
John / Doran:And Journey is our lead explorer.
Tim / GM:So Lead explorer Journey Journey.
Tim / GM:What?
Tim / GM:And finally, we have Zelis Lapetus, of course.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Yep. That's right. You know me.
Tim / GM:Very well.
John / Doran:Peter was, also, going by EZP.
Thomas / Guy:EZP? So if you wanna add that.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Yes. Thank you for reminding me, prisoner.
Tim / GM:Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. I'm trying it out on the streets. What do you think?
Tim / GM:Easy peasy.
Hannah / Eryn:That's correct. That's correct.
Tim / GM:I welcome you all to a small castle. Enjoy your stay. You can have
John / Doran:We're not gonna enjoy it too much. We're prisoners, but thank you.
Tim / GM:Oh, right. I'm so sorry.
John / Doran:It's nice. You're you're being really nice.
Hannah / Eryn:Yep. We'll be on our way now. Thank you.
John / Doran:Very well.
Hannah / Eryn:And I lead everybody away. Cool.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You, you're walking up towards this, giant castle village, and when you near it, you hear this voice echoing from that gate, and accompanied with it is this huge blast of brass instruments. Right when you walk through that town gate, you hear
Tim / GM:People of Small Castle, introducing Star Baker co captain Poppy.
Thomas / Guy:Yay.
Tim / GM:Introducing star co captain Doran. Introducing Soldier Bodyguard General Soushef Guy.
Thomas / Guy:Hello.
Tim / GM:Introducing Lead Explorer Journey Journey. Introducing Easy Peazealess Lapilus.
Hannah / Eryn:What's up? What's up, my man's?
Tim / GM:What have we done? You see people turn to look at you and kind of clap and cheer as you enter. And this place looks like a party. Everyone's doing great. You're walking down a path of clean, flattened pebbles that form a cobblestone road.
Tim / GM:When you arrive in this village, you instantly understand the benefits of tiny living. Everyone has everything. Resources are so plentiful here. Every person is dressed in lavish cloth and jewelry, snacking and drinking in teeny tiny cafes, relaxing in mossy parks, and thriving in a world completely without need. People turn to see you approaching, and it seems urgency attracts attention here.
Tim / GM:Oh,
Tim / GM:it's just like I dreamed.
Thomas / Guy:Being a prisoner seems much more agreeable here than it was on Baxi.
Tim / GM:Definitely. Alright. Where to next?
John / Doran:Still need to meet the queen. Right?
Thomas / Guy:Do we do that before trying to find the witch?
Hannah / Eryn:It sounds like the king and queen are the barrier to the witch, so start there and see where we get.
Tim / GM:Sure.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Here we go. I start to lead everybody up towards where I feel like rich people would live, and also I feel like Erin would be able to tell where noble people would live just from their time in the city. So I'm in a kind of just with a sense of the city.
Tim / GM:Growing up, I I used to well, I always wanted a dollhouse like this. I would go to the local toy shop and just kind of
Tim / GM:look at
Tim / GM:it through the window, but, you know, my parents didn't believe in,
Tim / GM:Toys.
Tim / GM:Toys or fun. So
Thomas / Guy:Who knew this mission would be, so fulfilling to you, Poppy?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I kinda wanna stay.
John / Doran:Oh, we should see what's really going on here. Seems too good to be true.
Thomas / Guy:I don't think that's a thing.
Tim / GM:That's never happened before. Oh, well.
Tim / GM:Aaron, you follow your intuition. And it's not difficult in an atmosphere like this because it's the giant castle. Like, where else? Like, this giant keep with this cathedral like central piece to it, that's where you need to be or close to it. The closer you get, the better you are.
Tim / GM:Aaron leaves you all with this, kind of faux confidence of Peter Lapilas walking down this main street. And, Peter, as you're going, people shout out in recognition, and they're just like, PETA, hero PETA.
Hannah / Eryn:That's right. I'll go by EZP now though.
Tim / GM:People often the sides are just, EZP.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:EZP.
Tim / GM:They're bringing you, like, turkey drumsticks and caramel corn and, like, little, like, trays of chocolates and sweets. Somebody just throws, like, a handful of gold at you. They bring you, like, a literal bejeweled crown. They're just dumping gold at your feet, like, hundreds of gold coins because these coins are flakes. They're nothing.
Tim / GM:They are so such a minuscule amount of gold that it never matters in the larger world.
Tim / GM:I step in front of Guy.
Thomas / Guy:Guy keeps his distance. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Probably a good idea, Guy. This place is, like, so gilded that it's just danger around every corner. And as you're getting closer to this castle and you pass by this sort of large courtyard area, there's a synchronized thumping of giant mouse paws as a cavalcade of mounted knights pass by in gleaming armor adorned over sleek, adorable mouse mounts. In the furthest rear, riding a red eyed albino mouse, a princely human. About Doran's age, about Doran's height, maybe a little taller and a good bit more muscle tone than Doran has.
John / Doran:No. I don't know if he's taller.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, so just strictly better.
John / Doran:Is this to be a little more handsome?
Hannah / Eryn:Just slightly better than always
Tim / GM:than Doran. Definitely more handsome.
Tim / GM:But you might call strictly better.
Thomas / Guy:A better listener.
John / Doran:He's also right in the mouth, so I'm not threatened at all.
Tim / GM:This person pulls up on his mount, and he looks over your party, and he says,
Tim / GM:good day and a good day for me.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes. Oh.
Tim / GM:Am I terribly mistaken, or am I in the presence of the heroes of the clouds?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I'm the hero. That's right. That's me, Peter.
Tim / GM:Oh, hello, Peter. How are you this fine day?
Hannah / Eryn:I'm great. How are you?
Tim / GM:I'm well. Thank you, Peter. Who have you brought us?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, these are my prisoners. Bringing them to the king and queen.
Tim / GM:Prisoners. Beta.
Hannah / Eryn:No. Yep. I caught them.
Tim / GM:These are not your prisoners.
John / Doran:He got us friends square.
Tim / GM:I'm, Tetris.
Hannah / Eryn:Tell him tell him you're my prisoners and I caught you real good.
Tim / GM:Sorry. He said heroes of the cloud.
Tim / GM:I know who you are. Sir Doran. Poppy guy? Seems you're missing a 5th, but, that's, no matter. How how are we so lucky that we could, make your acquaintance?
John / Doran:Well,
Tim / GM:I'm sorry. Where am I, Magnus? My name is Prince Volvin of the Gentalia family.
Tim / GM:Fucking No. Yeah. No.
Hannah / Eryn:Can you spell that for me?
Hannah / Eryn:It's the way you think.
Tim / GM:V u l v a n. Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:That it. Volvan. No.
Hannah / Eryn:Of the Gentile family.
Tim / GM:Gentalia family.
Tim / GM:Gentalia. Wow. Oh, bleu.
John / Doran:So the king and queen are the Gentaglia family? Gentaglia royalty, of course. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:So you've you've heard of us?
Tim / GM:Of course. My dear sister has shown me crystals in far off lands that detail your exploits.
Tim / GM:She's she's watched our shows then.
Tim / GM:Right. She won't put the damn thing down. She's on those crystals all fucking day.
Thomas / Guy:And these are good exploits.
Tim / GM:I've seen what you've done for Baxi. That kind of heroism is welcome here.
Tim / GM:Well, there was nothing.
Thomas / Guy:All in a day's work. I think it was literally a day. Right?
Tim / GM:And, dear Poppy, should we have the privilege to taste your sweets?
Tim / GM:Oh, I mean I
Tim / GM:would be remiss to have met you and not had the chance.
Tim / GM:But, well, show me to the kitchen.
Tim / GM:Very well. We'll all taste Poppy's brand. He kind
Tim / GM:of, like, gestures out, and people are starting to notice they're gathering a crowd around you.
Thomas / Guy:What's the play here? Are we still prisoners or are we heroes?
John / Doran:I don't know, Peter. What do you wanna do with this?
Tim / GM:I can go change, and yeah. I don't know.
Hannah / Eryn:I mean, you got us in. Maybe now is the time to be a hero, and we can meet the king and queen on higher footing.
Thomas / Guy:I can't imagine the king and queen thinks very highly of Peter.
Hannah / Eryn:That's a good idea. Okay. I'm gonna run into the alley, nearest alley.
Tim / GM:K. And
Hannah / Eryn:I'm gonna change back into Aaron.
Tim / GM:K.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm here too now.
Tim / GM:Oh, and we have off.
John / Doran:There you are. Thanks.
Hannah / Eryn:Hello. Hello. And who might you be?
Tim / GM:Nice to meet you. I'm prince Volvin.
Hannah / Eryn:Volvin?
Tim / GM:The elusive 5th. It seems you take many faces.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't know about that.
Tim / GM:I'd like to learn more of your ways. Perhaps we could get to know each other.
Tim / GM:I've elbowed Doren really quickly.
John / Doran:Yeah. We're here to meet your parents, actually.
Tim / GM:Of course. Very well. Follow me.
John / Doran:Well, hold on, Prince Volvin. I look side to side a bit. We're really here for a friend, a friend that might be in need. Do you happen to know anything about this witch that resides here in Small Castle?
Tim / GM:The witch, Muldryph? Yes. I know her well. You do? Indeed.
Tim / GM:Friends? Yes. She's, sequestered in her tower.
John / Doran:Sequestered, I
Tim / GM:is it? A danger, to be sure.
Tim / GM:She she's a danger?
Tim / GM:Indeed. Unstable, that one. You ever kept prisoner? Well, perhaps something from my parents to address as they are ruling royalty.
John / Doran:Can I get an insight on him to get a he said they were friends? Yeah. Insights. I got 20.
Tim / GM:Oh, shit. Okay. You catch that he had to, like, invent an answer real quick. What you glean is that they might not be as in control as they seem.
John / Doran:Well, I mean, it's good upon the royal family to keep this, under control. I will say we do have friends of this witch, and we were sent here to kind of understand more about what might be wrong.
Tim / GM:Good. Yes. Very good, Doran. All in good time. It's good that you said so many words, And we will address all of them.
Tim / GM:But for now, you should all follow me or talk to the right people.
Tim / GM:Can I ask a question?
Tim / GM:Of course, Barbie.
Tim / GM:Anything. Wow. Wow. That's a lot of attention.
John / Doran:Really close to your face.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh my goodness.
Tim / GM:It's like leaning off the mountain. Like
Hannah / Eryn:Woah. Woah. You're close.
Tim / GM:Are we well known throughout the kingdom or just with, your sister and you?
Tim / GM:He kind of, like, sits back up on his mount and gestures broadly. And, Poppy, you see people seem to be waiting, like, eagerly as if they're gonna get cookies right now. You're quite well known.
Tim / GM:Oh, well, I don't I just wasn't expecting that. I'll lead the way.
Tim / GM:You all follow down a grand roadway made of immaculate floor tiles. You can see larger gemstones that are adorning shops and boutiques around here. You see mice and men talking and working together. You see larger rats hauling wagons down the road. You see a speeding squirrel leaving behind a delectable scent of hot food coming from woven saddle bags at its sides.
Tim / GM:Everything here seems to be built by larger hands, but the small inhabitants have added a layer of detail and authenticity that makes it feel less like a dollhouse and more like a new world filled with the relics of giants.
Hannah / Eryn:It's so cute.
Tim / GM:Are there, like, spool tables and and little thimble stools?
Tim / GM:You see an even mix, and what is obvious to all of you is that some of these things were made pre shrink to be shrunk. A lot of like tables, chairs, they might have been made as like like, a modeler who would make things for a dollhouse, but then there are other things as as they've been living here are of adequate detail to really exist in this tiny, tiny world. The closer you get to the keep, the more you notice how well off everyone here is. From the first guards you saw on that walkway above the gate to the villagers outside to Prince Volvin himself. Everyone seems healthy, well fed, lavishly dressed, and in good spirits.
Tim / GM:And within the castle keep, you see luxury at a level only possible here walls lined with bottles and kegs of fine liquor. You pass a ballroom with a solid gold chandelier the size of the rolling pin. There's a gymnasium like kitchen and a banquet table that seats 200 in a dining hall lined with hundreds of life size statues made of solid silver. And suspended from the ceiling, a massive, unshrunken fork and spoon.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Wow.
Tim / GM:And that's not uncommon here to see small, unshrunken things used as decoration. And then you are introduced to the royal family.
John / Doran:Oh, boy. Buckle up.
Tim / GM:When Volvyn opens the door, you catch not royalty, but a family. A family in chaos. I'm sure they're the royal family, but they've got problems like anybody else. Volvin turns to
Tim / GM:all you and says, I'd like for you to meet my family. Here we have the royal queen, Clethora.
Tim / GM:God Jesus.
Tim / GM:And my father, the king, Maximus Glutius.
Thomas / Guy:Sorry. Where's the queen?
Tim / GM:Why is it so difficult for Guy to find queen
Tim / GM:Can Guy go on the does not fuck list?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, it's so good.
Tim / GM:The queen approaches you in a, a large black and green gown adorned with little golden accents coming down the this the
Hannah / Eryn:Seam? Bodice?
Tim / GM:Bodice?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Just like the the front of it.
Tim / GM:The front of it.
Thomas / Guy:That's a real gambeson type word.
Tim / GM:She says, you've all caught me in a a bit of a pickle, I'm afraid.
Tim / GM:It's Emma Dance. Yes.
Tim / GM:We have a a speech coming up, and I'm afraid I have no time for this, sort of matter. I I'm pleased to meet all of you, really. I am. But we have a show, a presentation, for our people, and we we can't miss it. Whatever you need, please, it'll be right after this.
Tim / GM:I promise. I promise you.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, very very well.
John / Doran:You're performing the speech?
Tim / GM:Yes. It'll it'll take just a moment or 2, but we do have a bit of a problem. You see, it's my daughter, Princess of area. She's gone missing. There's a lot
Tim / GM:to catch you up on. Team rambles on and on, I'm afraid. Our daughter
Tim / GM:is missing, Princess of Varya.
Tim / GM:You need to find her. We can't trust any of the help here. Ever since these shadow rats have been mulling about, we don't trust a bit of our help. A bit of our people.
Tim / GM:Our own gods are useless. We had to hire this lapelous son of a bitch to come in and try to help us out, and he's rather useless anyway.
Thomas / Guy:Told you.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Feels terrible. But you,
Tim / GM:the heroes of the cloud, the Vale won't shut up about you. Perfect. Perfect timing. You will take young Valap. You will watch him.
Tim / GM:Mhmm. And you will find Elvaria and
Tim / GM:you will meet us.
Tim / GM:As in Volwyn, you'll meet us afterwards.
John / Doran:Do you want us to see your speech?
Tim / GM:No. Wouldn't pertain to you at all. You have no idea what it's about.
John / Doran:Great. Can we scope out this, Princess O'Vera's room or where she
Tim / GM:we'd prefer that you just get on the case right away if that's good. No. That's that's part of it.
John / Doran:We're really good at this stuff, actually.
Tim / GM:Obsessed with all of you. I'm sure she'd come running.
Tim / GM:She never stops looking at her crystals day in and day out. She just won't put the fucking things down.
Hannah / Eryn:Is she human?
Tim / GM:Yes. All these people are human. Human family.
Hannah / Eryn:Dope. We'd be
Tim / GM:happy to help.
Tim / GM:Poppy, you see, you're at eye level with young Fallip, the youngest prince of the family. It seems they have 2 sons and one daughter. They've got princess Overia and then their sons, prince Volvin and prince Fallip. Young Fallip seems to be about 6 or 7 years old, is staring directly at you, Poppy.
Tim / GM:Hello? You're Grace?
Tim / GM:Hello?
Tim / GM:Do you know where your sister is?
Tim / GM:No. But she says you've got sweet things in your pockets.
Tim / GM:That may or may not be true.
Tim / GM:You're Poppy the baker.
Tim / GM:Yes. I am.
Tim / GM:I heard the announcement. They called you Star Baker co captain Poppy.
Tim / GM:That's correct.
Tim / GM:Give it to me.
Tim / GM:Give what to you?
Tim / GM:Cookies.
Tim / GM:Oh. Well,
Tim / GM:Give
Tim / GM:it to me.
John / Doran:Before we do that, do you happen
Tim / GM:to I'm so sorry. We have literally no time for any more questions or anything that you needed to ask. You don't have to
John / Doran:wait for us. You you can go to your speech. I didn't hear
Tim / GM:what you were saying. Good. Good. Good. Bye.
Tim / GM:And, she kinda turns to leave. Prince Voldan kind of nods you as he's backing out of the room as well, just leaving you with young Fallip.
Tim / GM:Right.
John / Doran:Young Fallip, prince Fallip, before you get a cookie which you'll get a cookie, Poppy, do you wanna show me? I will get a cookie on royalty. Yes. But before you get one, can we please know whom your sister's favorite among us is?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, yes. This seems important.
Tim / GM:She told me not to tell.
John / Doran:I know, but I thought you wanted cookies. So Oh.
Tim / GM:I think it might help us find her faster.
Tim / GM:Doran, make a persuasion trick with quadruple advantage because this is a child.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't know. Persuasion trick?
Tim / GM:He said quadruple advantage, so you could roll that higher.
John / Doran:I'll at least do advantage advantage, so I'll see. It's a child. So I got 28. It's a child who
Tim / GM:rolled 2, by the way. K. Against the child. Yeah. 28 against the 2.
Tim / GM:Yes. You win. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yes. Before cookies, yes. What do I need to do?
John / Doran:Who is your sister's favorite? She told you. Right? We won't tell anyone else.
Tim / GM:It's a secret to everyone because it's so naughty who she likes. Okay.
Tim / GM:Naughty.
Tim / GM:But it's this one, and he points up a guy. Yes. Are
John / Doran:you sure?
Tim / GM:She says he's so handsome and so knightly and righteous that she can't resist, whatever that means.
John / Doran:Guy,
Thomas / Guy:well, it seems we must seek out this princess post taste.
Hannah / Eryn:I think she might be a child guy.
Tim / GM:She's 20 ish. Quite right.
Hannah / Eryn:20 ish? Alright. Well I mean, the age gap is still legal. Yeah. It's icky but legal.
Thomas / Guy:I'm just happy to meet a fan is all.
John / Doran:Right. Well, that helps. And as promised
Tim / GM:Do we have any cookies, actually?
Tim / GM:I'm going okay. I'm gonna can I?
Tim / GM:Can you flash bake regular cookies?
Tim / GM:I want to flash bake a pressedigitation cookie
Tim / GM:Okay.
Tim / GM:That makes his mouth, like, sticky and keeps him busy for a while.
Tim / GM:Oh. Improv baking. Okay. I will say yes, but you have to give me an Arcana check to see if this goes horribly awry for this child.
Tim / GM:Oh, no.
Hannah / Eryn:He loses his mouth. 17.
John / Doran:I wasn't quick enough with the loot. You're fine, Moe.
Tim / GM:Oh, man.
Tim / GM:Flash is
Tim / GM:making you so fast.
Tim / GM:Giving peanut butter to a dog. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.
Tim / GM:He goes cookie. And he just takes it, bites into it, and you all see it pull away like mozzarella cheese as he bites into the cookie. And you just see him kind of, like, gnawing on it like molasses, and he goes, my cookie.
Tim / GM:It's it's, like a toffee
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Tim / GM:Caramel something or other.
Tim / GM:He is totally predisposed with this cookie.
Hannah / Eryn:Little man, can you point us in the direction of your sister's chamber?
Tim / GM:He points.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. We go that way.
Tim / GM:Okay. You all end up in a vacuous royal bedroom with a 4 post bed kind of in the middle of it all and practically nothing else adorning this room. It's, like, barren in a way that parents sometimes adorn their children's bedrooms when they feel too much control.
John / Doran:Didn't even need an inside check for that one.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm gonna search the room k. For
Tim / GM:Clues.
Hannah / Eryn:Clues. That's the word. That's the word.
Tim / GM:Guys, she
Tim / GM:has a poster view on her wall. That's so weird.
Thomas / Guy:Who even made that?
Tim / GM:I don't.
John / Doran:This pillow looks
Hannah / Eryn:kinda like you.
Tim / GM:This doesn't even look like
Tim / GM:you. Investigation.
Tim / GM:This guy has significantly more hair.
Hannah / Eryn:It's so bad. 4.
Tim / GM:Wow. With the Bardic?
Hannah / Eryn:I have 1 Bardic. 2 is my original role. I plus 1 investigation. Incredible.
Hannah / Eryn:So I have, advantage on survival checks to track my favorite enemies, one of which is humanoids.
Tim / GM:And are you with that? Certainly no success there. Yeah. You're curious too as to why there's so much guy memorabilia in here.
Hannah / Eryn:I would like to do a survival check to track this child. There's
Tim / GM:guy body pillows messed up.
Hannah / Eryn:It's just awful.
Tim / GM:I don't think it was a secret.
Hannah / Eryn:18.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Journey, what you notice is that this is not Guy. When you're looking around the room, it's not Guy. It's someone who looks an awful lot like him. It's an armored adorned knight, but they're wearing the colors that's what you're seeing here.
Tim / GM:Everybody else is wrong.
Hannah / Eryn:So I was trying to track the princess.
Tim / GM:So this, you can tell, is a local person, a knight, a knight who would hang out at the barracks. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:I think I see what's going on here.
Tim / GM:Well, enlighten us because I'm freaked out.
Hannah / Eryn:I think this guy, not you guy, but this person, might be someone that this princess has maybe taken a shine to and has left the premises to meet up with.
Tim / GM:What's a premises?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, boy. Premises is where we are.
Tim / GM:Okay. How do
John / Doran:you guys feel about catching sleep on princess?
Tim / GM:You can't do that again.
Hannah / Eryn:Erin nods emphatically.
Hannah / Eryn:Excuse me. Young prince Fallip?
Tim / GM:Yes?
Hannah / Eryn:In your usual day to day, do people just kinda let you roam around here?
Tim / GM:I'm part of the royal family.
Hannah / Eryn:So that's a yes? Yes. Can I do an insight check?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Unnatural 20.
Tim / GM:Valap is invincible. He can do whatever he wants.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. We can just leave him here.
Tim / GM:I think he'll follow us. Hey, little princeling. Yes? Look at this. And I pull out pinch.
Tim / GM:His eyes just go huge.
Tim / GM:Look. He's a little, dough man, and he's alive. And
Tim / GM:He moves up to pinch with his arms kind of outstretched, and he just grabs them and, like, squishes his fingers into pinch.
Tim / GM:Well, he's dough. Yeah. So and he's a child. Guess what? He really likes to play hide and seek.
Tim / GM:Do you wanna play hide and seek with pinch?
Tim / GM:Yes. That's quite.
Tim / GM:Perfect. Put him down on the ground, and he'll go hide.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He, sits down, pinched, and you see these greasy little footsteps leaving a trail as Pinch goes to run out and hide.
Tim / GM:Okay. You have to stand over here and count. 10. Perfect.
Tim / GM:Foy. Chiyo.
Hannah / Eryn:And we all go? Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Guy is lingering, looking at the poster of the person who's not quite him.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You take in some details about this person. They're a long swordist, and a lancer. That is what you can tell. This person is a jouster.
Tim / GM:They look to be captain of the guard, maybe. You're trying to tell rank just by looking at this person, but they seem a figure of authority and importance here.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, where did everybody go?
Hannah / Eryn:I I peeked back in the room and
Tim / GM:come on.
Tim / GM:31 Yep. 30 and 4 34 45.
John / Doran:Gotta start over if you mess up. So 1, 2. Yeah.
Tim / GM:And I am just gonna let Pinch, like, entertain him for a while.
Tim / GM:Great. Babysitter Pinch.
John / Doran:Yeah. Can we toss Pinch a echo bell just in case?
Tim / GM:I can speak to him telepathically.
Hannah / Eryn:Pinch just goes.
John / Doran:I mean, we know something's up then.
Tim / GM:No. Okay. In the find familiar, your familiar acts independently of you, always obeys your commands.
Tim / GM:That's how we get around resummoning him all the time.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Okay.
Tim / GM:As an action, you can see through your familiar's eyes and hear what it hears. So I basically just have eyes on this child.
Tim / GM:I love how every time I've given you, like, an NPC companion, you're like, how do we get rid of that?
Tim / GM:We can't we can't kidnap the princeling.
Tim / GM:Very well. Yeah. Young Falop is left behind, in, Overia's room.
Tim / GM:Is this what you wanted?
Tim / GM:It's what you want. Okay.
Tim / GM:That's fine.
Tim / GM:When you all strike out, you kind of take a broader scope of this whole kingdom in. You can see there's a sort of, like, market district to it. You can see there's a restaurant district, a sort of nightlife, but you can also see there's a military element to this. There's a barracks and an arena for jousting.
Thomas / Guy:I feared the worst when we landed on this island and encountered Peter, but things are looking
John / Doran:up. Why do they need a military at all? Just for the rats?
Tim / GM:That's a good point.
Thomas / Guy:They did mention the rat problem.
Tim / GM:Is anyone weirded out by the amount of, like, luxury and riches?
Hannah / Eryn:I mean, I didn't see any, like, street kids or anyone that seemed, you know, down and out, so that's kinda nice, I guess. I mean, they must have a lot more resources. Like, one log could warm a whole city like this for a whole winter.
Tim / GM:That's a good point.
Thomas / Guy:Perhaps every place should be tiny.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. That's what I'm thinking.
John / Doran:So this man, as you were describing Journey, seemed like, someone of rank potentially.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. I don't know. I guess, god, you're the most familiar with military type stuff. Do you know where a person like that would hang out? Because I think that's where our prince is headed.
Thomas / Guy:If he is in command, I believe he would have his own office in the barracks if he's not, training his men out in the field.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, maybe that can be our starting point and look for the man and find the princess.
Tim / GM:Excuse me. Star Baker co captain Poppy? Yes. Star co captain Doran, soldier bodyguard general Sous Chef Guy, lead explorer journey journey, easy pea zelas Lapis. Wait.
Tim / GM:No. Who are you?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, don't worry about me.
Tim / GM:Oh. Oh, okay. Anyway, could I get a quick oil painting with all of you?
Tim / GM:A quick oil painting?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I've got my artist right here. Ferdinand Lafemme. He can paint all of us.
Hannah / Eryn:No. We don't have time for that.
Tim / GM:Oh, please. It'll just take 2 or 3 hours. Come on.
Tim / GM:What if we take a rain check, and we'll definitely come back?
Hannah / Eryn:No. No. No painting.
Tim / GM:What else is there to do today?
Thomas / Guy:There's a guy here who looks like me. You could use him as a stand in.
Tim / GM:Oh, you mean captain Vicks?
Tim / GM:Vicks?
Thomas / Guy:Maybe I do.
John / Doran:I guess the guy's the one that's in a hurry. I mean, maybe where's captain Vicks?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, he's
Tim / GM:at the barracks for sure.
Hannah / Eryn:Where is that?
Tim / GM:Just ahead. He points on the street. He says, sir Vicks makes himself available to everyone.
Hannah / Eryn:Sir Vicks. Sorry.
John / Doran:You know, oil painting would be nice. We are pretty busy. It's our 1st day, you know, jet lag or ship lag or sorry. Yeah. Yeah.
John / Doran:So maybe leg. Shrink leg.
Tim / GM:Shrink leg. Yeah.
John / Doran:Yeah. So, I mean, what was your name?
Tim / GM:I
Tim / GM:didn't say. Let's go with You're
John / Doran:being really dodgy. Jerry Tree. Okay. Jerry, tree.
Thomas / Guy:Doran, what if we are taking the oil painting and the princess walks behind us during the painting?
Tim / GM:It's sounds a batshit insane thing I've ever heard in my life.
Hannah / Eryn:You know what? No.
Hannah / Eryn:Let's do the damn thing.
Tim / GM:The island begins to shake now. It
Tim / GM:took 3 hours. Mhmm. Can I, check-in with Pinch's eyes
Tim / GM:Yeah?
Tim / GM:And just see what's going on?
Hannah / Eryn:Poppy, we've only been gone 3 minutes.
Tim / GM:I'm just worried.
Tim / GM:Poppy, you get this weird fractured sort of view because Pinch has been torn into several pieces and hidden about the room.
Tim / GM:Oh, no.
Tim / GM:It seems wanted to play hide and seek with more targets when it's his turn.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, god. Pinch is just getting the most brutal experience of life.
Tim / GM:Pinch has not had a good life.
Tim / GM:I'm so sorry.
Hannah / Eryn:Every morning he wakes up, and every evening he is destroyed.
Tim / GM:Every time I remember to use him for anything.
Hannah / Eryn:Every day,
Tim / GM:I'm more
Thomas / Guy:time you literally, like, exploded from trying to absorb evil magic or something.
John / Doran:He's like he's like in your bosom just shaking.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. Don't summon me. Please.
Hannah / Eryn:He used to be able to speak, and now he can only do
Tim / GM:Please don't make me live life.
Hannah / Eryn:I watch a round hog day
Thomas / Guy:of torture. Void of nothing. Of course.
Tim / GM:It's time for a third iteration. Don't bring me back.
Tim / GM:Anyway, a lot of you, make it to the barracks. And you can see here, it's not much of a military. It is a for fun military. All they do is jousting.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Love that.
Tim / GM:They're barely even equipped for combat, even favoring lances over the sword or the axe more than anything.
Thomas / Guy:Guy is looking around with a disapproving look on his face.
Tim / GM:You see a bunch of young cadets kind of look up to you and Guy, they see the stature of you. The size of your sword and the way you carry yourself, and they all just immediately kind of go flaccid.
Thomas / Guy:When's the last time this armor was dusted?
Tim / GM:Just last week. It's a weekly task for us. Weekly, You're even more imposing than sir.
Thomas / Guy:Sir? Sir Vix, you mean?
Tim / GM:Indeed. Have you come to meet with him?
Thomas / Guy:I believe we have. Do you know where we might locate him?
Tim / GM:He kind of looks at the ground, and you see a bunch of other cadets look at the ground, and they don't wanna go get him.
Thomas / Guy:Are they, like, looking where he is and then they
Tim / GM:They're they're looking at the ground like they don't want to be the one that has to go get his attention.
Thomas / Guy:Is there not one brave knight here among you?
Tim / GM:Make a performance check, guy.
Thomas / Guy:15.
Tim / GM:From the back of the barracks, echoing off the walls.
Tim / GM:Who is it you'd like to meet?
Thomas / Guy:We seek the one named Sir Vix.
Tim / GM:'Tis I, Sir Vix. What would you have with me? I don't like it.
Thomas / Guy:Deep. Captain Vix, is it? Indeed.
Tim / GM:Am I to understand, I'm in the presence of Guy, or should I say, soldier bodyguard general sous chef guy.
Thomas / Guy:Guy will suffice.
Tim / GM:Guy, how can I help you, fellow soldier?
Thomas / Guy:We come to this island not expecting to be so tiny, but we quite like it here.
Tim / GM:Does well for our populace. They want for nothing. We've thrived here in the tiny castle.
Thomas / Guy:Your king and queen have sent us on a mission.
Tim / GM:Oh? Of what import? What has it to do with me, my men?
Thomas / Guy:Perhaps the 6 of us should go someplace more private to discuss this matter.
Tim / GM:Heroes of the clouds, am I mistaken?
Thomas / Guy:That's what they call us.
Tim / GM:I've little to share that would be important to you, so it's the rat intrusions. What is it you'd ask of me?
Thomas / Guy:Perhaps we can circle back to the rats. But the king and queen have informed us that the princess of Varya is missing.
Tim / GM:Princess Ovaerya. Sure here. Heard of her. Right. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Insight check. Insight check. That's bad for me.
Thomas / Guy:I've heard of the princess. Yeah.
Tim / GM:18. Doran, he seems interested in other things. He's military captain. He's got other stuff going on. Couldn't be bothered with, some young girl.
Tim / GM:It's unrequited.
John / Doran:Okay. I just kinda give Guy a nod to continue. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:She seems to have heard of you too, captain.
Tim / GM:Who hasn't? I've, made quite a name for myself a little bit more in the olden days when a night was something, but
Thomas / Guy:Oh, yes. Why not share some of your exploits now?
Tim / GM:He shares his exploits.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, good exploits.
Tim / GM:Stabbing things. Morning thrills. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:While they're chatting, Aaron's just gonna, like I imagine we're, like, standing in his office. Yeah. I imagine
Tim / GM:There's not enough seats for all of
Hannah / Eryn:the future. Yeah. Aaron's just kinda wandering around, and, like, picking up random things that might be related to the royal family.
Tim / GM:Give me an investigation check.
Hannah / Eryn:Can I do my survival check again to try and see if I can To track the princess? Track the princess.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I like the 2 angles here.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Invest. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Lot better this time. Wowie.
Hannah / Eryn:I got an 8 investigation. K. Not going too good.
Hannah / Eryn:22 Wow. For survival.
Tim / GM:Yeah. The 2 of you are, looking around this office for evidence. And, Erin, well, you're looking for concrete clues of her being here in terms of, like, a diary entry, some piece of clothing, some article of love, some token of affection. You don't find anything. Journey.
Tim / GM:Moving about this room, you smell a woman. You smell that a young girl has been here quite recently. Perfumed unlike any of your party members.
Hannah / Eryn:I see that Erin is also kind of poking around, and I give Erin a nod like she done been here.
John / Doran:Oh. Cervix. Yes. The king and queen, from what we've learned, have not had strong opinion of your capabilities as as far as the rest of the soldiers and dealing with the rats and and bringing in some other muscle to help with things. Based on your exploits and the way you carry yourself, you're I mean, I'm not a soldier, but I can see the resemblance between you and Guy.
John / Doran:What's what's the challenge here? What's what's stopping you?
Tim / GM:Interesting play. Okay. It's a little bit of a backhanded angle that you're coming at here, a little bit of, like, an insult or nagging kind of component to this.
Tim / GM:He's nagging.
Tim / GM:Give me a persuasion check on this.
Thomas / Guy:Why is there no nagging check?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Neg check.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Meg is a skill.
John / Doran:28.
Tim / GM:Jesus Christ.
Hannah / Eryn:Of course,
Hannah / Eryn:Darn's gonna hang it.
Tim / GM:Why do I go against it?
Tim / GM:It's just to hear what you get and not
Tim / GM:what I get. It says it's a new threat, to be sure. These dark vermin crawling up from the depths, we've,
Tim / GM:it's
Tim / GM:not like fighting, soldiers. Reasonable people, not suited for the tasks. Neither are these boys. Oh, you're suited for it. We're trying.
John / Doran:Yeah. They'll get there. We know what they are.
Tim / GM:Do you?
Tim / GM:Did you say they come up from the depths?
Tim / GM:Right. Lower on the island, we found somehow they're getting through the shield. It's supposed to be a sphere with one point of egress. And yet here we are, beset by rats.
John / Doran:You must, have at least spoken with the witch. We don't know much about her, but we know she's a
Tim / GM:key player in all of this. Indeed. She put us in the predicament we're in now, which is a good one. We thrive here in tiny castle. She made the sphere.
Tim / GM:I did. Both of them. A shrinking sphere, a protective sphere, both of them.
John / Doran:But there's a flaw in some of this, right?
Tim / GM:Could call it that. Animals, they don't get shrunk. Had something to do with being able to import animal proteins. We wouldn't be able to eat meat if animals got shrunk, that's the idea. Is
Hannah / Eryn:Steve not an animal?
Tim / GM:She wrote the spell herself. She was very specific about who was allowed to be shrunk and who wasn't.
Thomas / Guy:Maybe Stede got a pass.
Tim / GM:Oh, I mean, they were friends.
John / Doran:Yes. The witch is really running the place. Right?
Tim / GM:Of course not. It's us. The military, the royalty. Insight. We run this place.
Tim / GM:Right.
Tim / GM:You don't need insight for that. He is defending immediately.
John / Doran:Right. No. I of course. Yeah. Sorry.
John / Doran:I meant beyond that, though. Like, the king and queen, they do the diplomacy stuff, but it's
Tim / GM:We make the decisions as we always have. The royal family and the military, not some witch.
Tim / GM:And you can see right through that. Like, Maisie's making all the decisions here.
Tim / GM:Can I ask another question about the depth? What's down there?
Tim / GM:Oldcastle. Oldcastle. The deeper you go, the older the castle. Previous generations, different iterations of living here.
Tim / GM:And all the way at the bottom?
Tim / GM:Rocks is my whatever keeps us afloat.
Tim / GM:Oh, thank you. That's all I needed to know.
Tim / GM:And a great base.
John / Doran:What? Of course. Which one is that? The vermin lord trick. Not that much of a coincidence then.
John / Doran:Right?
Tim / GM:It's an easy connection to make by the lazy one. Vermin Lord Trick
Tim / GM:would not set us upon rats like this. Of course not.
Thomas / Guy:In our travels, we have seen other great beasts, change their nature, be a little less agreeable than I think they used to be.
Hannah / Eryn:Has anyone seen Vermin Lotr trick, recently?
Tim / GM:Not recently.
John / Doran:Is that unusual?
Tim / GM:Who are you? I know I know who you are, but what do you want?
Tim / GM:What do you
Tim / GM:want from me?
John / Doran:We're trying to stop a Skyland from falling.
Thomas / Guy:And find a princess.
John / Doran:Oh, that too. Yep.
Tim / GM:Princess is not with me. If, if you're curious, I I expect Diabolo. He's an apothecary. Meet with him.
Tim / GM:Diabolo?
John / Doran:Diabolo. Why would we go to an apothecary?
Tim / GM:She oh, various. She spends time there, I believe.
Hannah / Eryn:But you said you didn't know her? No. Barely. Butter smells all over this place.
Tim / GM:Excuse me. What?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, just the smell in this room.
Tim / GM:I meet with many a a courtesan. I'm a I'm a man after all.
Tim / GM:In your office?
John / Doran:So if we run into her, we can tell her that you meet with many women in this office.
Tim / GM:Why would you tell that to the princess?
John / Doran:It's what you said. Well,
Tim / GM:Best not tell her that,
Hannah / Eryn:But I mean
Tim / GM:Hey. What's this? You hear a jingling.
Tim / GM:Is that a 100 gold pieces?
Tim / GM:Do we even need gold here?
Tim / GM:These are real gold pieces. They'll come back with you.
Hannah / Eryn:The the other gold won't?
Tim / GM:They won't. You can tell by the imprint. It's not real. The flakes and flex.
Tim / GM:I put my hand up for the gold and and wiggle my fingers.
Tim / GM:You see, he drops a leather bag of gold coins, a 100 gold coins into your hand, and you can tell they're printed coins from the mainland.
Tim / GM:And does it feel like a 100 gold?
Tim / GM:Give or take. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Okay. I think we have a deal. Blink.
John / Doran:Before we go, we have a 100 gold. Yeah. Before we go, this, princess debacle, I don't want it to consume any more of your time or our time. I think all we need is for the king and queen to at least see her, have a dinner, and then she can go about what she's doing. There are real problems you and your men are facing men and women.
Tim / GM:Yes. Very well. She'll appear soon ish.
Thomas / Guy:Sounds good. Wonderful. Right.
John / Doran:Sooner the better.
Tim / GM:Right.
John / Doran:Or we'll have to come back.
Hannah / Eryn:How do we get to the witch? What's the quickest way?
Tim / GM:She's, a bit sequestered, right, in a tower. Had a bit of a disagreement with her royalty. Had to be kinda put away behind some, magical
Tim / GM:traps and bits and bobs. Right.
Tim / GM:But she's she's the one who did all the magic.
Tim / GM:So Yeah. Well
Tim / GM:Did she imprison herself? Interesting.
Tim / GM:Making the side check, Poppy. Just just Poppy this time.
Tim / GM:11.
Tim / GM:Oof. K. He's giving you a very confusing answer. He's not saying whether or not she set up these traps herself.
Tim / GM:Okay. Well, that's weird. Okay.
Thomas / Guy:Well, surely, if we locate the princess, the king and queen might be inclined to
Tim / GM:let us visit the witch. Absolutely.
Thomas / Guy:That's two reasons to visit Diabolo.
Tim / GM:I think it's still the the one
Hannah / Eryn:Just the one reason. Class.
Thomas / Guy:No. The witch and then the princess.
Hannah / Eryn:No. Both times, he was saying we should find the princess by going to Diabolo.
Thomas / Guy:I understand that.
Hannah / Eryn:Mhmm. Mhmm.
Tim / GM:It's it's confusing women stuff. Yeah. There
Thomas / Guy:were 2 women and that's just too much to follow.
Tim / GM:2 2 of you 1 to 2. Complicated. You guys exit that stuffy office.
Tim / GM:And when you come back out into this hallway, you're all free to progress towards the apothecary that he gestured towards with more than that commercial district. A small castle here or tiny castle, should I say?
Tim / GM:Tiny castle.
Hannah / Eryn:I just when you said that below small castle is old castle, I was like, old castle, small castle, tiny castle. It's excellent.
Tim / GM:Hard castle.
Tim / GM:Hard castle. That's later.
Tim / GM:You all moved to the commercial district following that same gleaming tile road that leads you out to the shops here. You see, like, giant buttons that adorn lampposts here. You see more of those tiny relics of giant people that had left things behind for them to use as decoration here. And then you approach an apothecary. When you open the door, you see a mustachioed man behind the desk and a young, pretty woman, long hair holding a Venus crystal.
Tim / GM:Good afternoon. Yeah. I
Tim / GM:don't know what that was.
Tim / GM:Indeed. Greetings to the apothecary. My name is
Tim / GM:Machiavelli Moriarty Diabolo. Wow.
John / Doran:That name competes with all your prescriptions in length. That's, fitting. You probably know all of us.
Tim / GM:I do. Do I have
Tim / GM:in my presence Star Baker co captain Poppy? Star co captain Doran? Soldier body guard general, sous chef guy? Lead explorer, Journey, Journey. And who is this?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, you can just call me Aaron.
Tim / GM:Aaron, what can I do you for? An ointment? What's your ailment?
John / Doran:Our ailment is a missing princess.
Hannah / Eryn:Are you Overia?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Is that you?
Tim / GM:She just kind of gives you this, like, yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Your parents just were wondering where you were.
Tim / GM:I bet. And we all gotta go home now. Right?
Hannah / Eryn:I actually think, they're doing, like, their presentation.
Tim / GM:Oh.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. You could find them there.
Tim / GM:Okay. That means dinner is soon then.
Hannah / Eryn:Perfect.
Tim / GM:Sorry, Diabolo. I gotta go soon. It was good to see you, though.
John / Doran:Do you work here? Do I work here? As an apprentice or, what's the no. I was
Tim / GM:just visiting. An apothecary. Diabolo.
Tim / GM:Oh my god.
Tim / GM:Oh,
Tim / GM:I hate her.
Tim / GM:Yeah. So He's also a crossbow sniper. Did you know that?
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, really? Yeah. How Wow.
Tim / GM:He is.
Hannah / Eryn:No. Tell me more.
Tim / GM:He is number 1 in the land.
Tim / GM:Bet?
Tim / GM:Like I'm talking, like, arrow on arrow action. No. Come on. Split his previous bolt.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh my goodness.
Tim / GM:Like, extraordinaire. I'm serious.
Tim / GM:Can I would
Hannah / Eryn:not expect that from, apothecary?
Tim / GM:Such a handsome man.
Tim / GM:How old is this guy?
Tim / GM:Diaboloid was, like, in his late twenties.
Tim / GM:Okay. So it's not that weird?
Tim / GM:No. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:I was expecting forties, and I was frightened.
Thomas / Guy:I think we are out of our element, Doreen.
John / Doran:I can't keep up with what's going on, guy.
Hannah / Eryn:What's the deal with you and, you know, Sir Vix over in the in the army?
Tim / GM:That old, like, armored guy. He's, like, nothin. And this whole time, Ovaeriia is making eyes up at Guy. Like, while she's describing Cervix, she's just looking Guy up and down.
Tim / GM:He's in the
Thomas / Guy:Guy, like, shrinks as she, like, talks about how she's not into yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:So you're just friends with this guard guy?
Tim / GM:I mean, he's like he's like the strongest, like okay. Listen. There's, like, boys, and then there's knights.
Tim / GM:Oh, okay.
Tim / GM:Do you know what I'm saying?
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Do you
Tim / GM:get me?
Hannah / Eryn:I get you.
John / Doran:Do you
Hannah / Eryn:get it, Erin? What? Excuse you?
John / Doran:No. I'm just wondering what you're getting at. I'm just trying to
Tim / GM:Oh. There's like boys and then she gestures towards Doran. And then there's like knights and gestures towards Guy.
Tim / GM:Boys mate?
Thomas / Guy:Boys and nights.
John / Doran:I'm gonna keep an eye out outside the apothecary, and I step outside.
Tim / GM:Do I
Tim / GM:need to
Tim / GM:chill, mommy?
Hannah / Eryn:No. But I I understand. So, do you just your parents seemed worried. Is there a reason why they were worried about you?
Tim / GM:Oh, they're so pissy about, like, me being there for speeches and stuff, but, like, the kingdom doesn't even fucking like me. So it's, like, why do I need to be there?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I mean, that makes sense to me. So cool. Well, it was nice to meet you. Yeah. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Just let your parents know you're alive, and I think we'll be good. And, they're supposed to let us go see Maisie Muldrif, the witch.
Tim / GM:Oh, okay. Yeah. She's, like, crazy or something.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. That's what that's what we're here.
Tim / GM:Anyway, are you gonna, like, spread rumors that I was with Di Apollo? Like, oh my god. Don't do that. Well Oh my god. Don't spread rumors that I was with Di Apollo.
Tim / GM:Insight check.
Hannah / Eryn:Yes, please. Yes, please.
Tim / GM:13. She seems bulletproof. She wants you to spread rumors that she's that volatile.
Tim / GM:Okay. We won't.
Tim / GM:No. Do it.
Tim / GM:Okay. We will?
Tim / GM:Don't do it, though.
Tim / GM:I don't know what you're doing.
Tim / GM:Don't do it. What? Spread rumors about me.
Tim / GM:Excuse me? Is this how all other women are?
Thomas / Guy:Should we not escort the princess personally back to the royal chambers?
Hannah / Eryn:I mean, we can just walk back. It's fine.
Tim / GM:Can we not?
Tim / GM:That's what escorting is. Oh my god. If you have to.
Hannah / Eryn:Do you want us to say that you're with Diabolo on the way?
Tim / GM:That's okay. I'll say it. Ezreal marching back towards the castle keep, she, 3 or 4 times loudly announces, like, can't believe you're taking me away from mister Diabolo.
Tim / GM:I didn't think I was ex socially inept. Is this weird or is this, like, normal?
Thomas / Guy:This is what all conversations are like to me, Poppy.
Tim / GM:I feel so out of my depth.
Tim / GM:It's a long trot for all of you as a large group with ovarian kind of ranting on and off about her day with Diabolo and how amazing it all was. And when she leads you back into the castle keep, you're suddenly back. You're back in that palatial dining hall with that huge silver fork and spoon hanging from the ceiling, and you've been invited to the head of the table with the royal family. You see food being brought out, and it never stops. A single chicken wing has been carved to serve as a main course into 200 generous portions with a rich, zesty sauce on the side.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You see carved bits of fruit are served in bottomless bowls. You see a single fruit jam cookie at regular human size. It stands wider than you are tall, ready for dessert.
Tim / GM:Oh, wow. That's a really big cookie.
Tim / GM:After every sip of soup, servants refill your cups. After every bite, your food is replaced. Everything is fresh. Everything's the first bite all the time, and then you throw it away.
Tim / GM:Wow.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't know. I I feel like this is wasteful and not wasteful at the same time, like ultimate efficiency and yet wildly weird.
Tim / GM:That's what I'm saying. It's strange.
Tim / GM:You see the royal family all kind of shuffling again. Prince Volvyn takes a seat next to Doran and says,
Tim / GM:it's good to see you again. It seems you've met my sister. We have. Do you
John / Doran:wanna give us the bullet points of the speech?
Tim / GM:Late summer festival as we're coming into autumn. Nothing special, but,
Hannah / Eryn:Well, we got your sister here. So
Tim / GM:Much obliged. I love you. What? Woah.
Tim / GM:Did you say I love you? I love you. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:It sounded like you said much obliged. I I love you.
Hannah / Eryn:That's forward,
Tim / GM:but I guess we love you.
Hannah / Eryn:I was like, okay.
Tim / GM:I know.
Hannah / Eryn:It's just like a thing that this prince does. I was like, Alright.
Tim / GM:He looks around the room and says, much obliged. All of you.
Hannah / Eryn:You're welcome.
Tim / GM:You all see Queen Clethora lean in, and she says,
Tim / GM:Valveria, just where have you been? You have some explaining to do.
Tim / GM:You all see Sir Vix take his position at the table with an and I think we'll end it there.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh. Of course. Intrigue.
Tim / GM:Thank you
Tim / GM:all so much for listening. I am Tim, your GM.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Hannah, plain Erin.
Hannah / Eryn:I'm Tara, and I play lead explorer Journey Journey.
Thomas / Guy:I'm Thomas, the 9 guy.
John / Doran:I'm John playing Doran.
Tim / GM:And I'm Poppy?
Hannah / Eryn:No.
John / Doran:It's okay. Well, this is our first time. Wait.
Tim / GM:Star Maker co captain Poppy.
Tim / GM:I'm Meghan. I play Star Maker co captain Poppy Kenmore.
Tim / GM:Thank you all so much for listening. Please share the show with people you love, and we'll see you next time.
Thomas / Guy:I love you.
